89 replies to this topic

[RV3000]

I have a 3 1/2 year old girl who is so active, I have to turn on the "idiot box" (TV) to keep her quiet and sitting in one place!

Any ideas as to how to encourage solo/quiet play will be appreciated!

I have tried coloring, painting, moon sand, play dough, write and wipe off boards, sticker books, trampoline.... but she seems to have so much energy that I am trying ways to channel it in the right direction.. She does have games but would like me to play with her all the time! She has even stopped napping in the afternoons! Help!

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

What do you do all day long and do you involve her in some of it (e.g., cooking: tearing lettuce for salad, helping to measure ingredients, etc.)?

How much time do you expect her to engage in solo/quiet play vs. doing things with you?

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

There are oodles of Internet sites that describe preschool crafts, activities and lesson plans. Here's just one: http://www.preschoolcorner.com/

[bordercolliefan]

At 3 1/2, I would investigate putting her in preschool for, say, three half-days per week.

I have found it to be very beneficial and stimulating for children that age to have an environment other than home -- complete with fun teachers, new friends, new toys, etc. 3 1/2 is definitely old enough to spread one's wings beyond home.

[bunny]

2-3 half days of preschool. Show her how to use your computer and start with these sites:

www.uptoten.com check out the boowa and kwala section
www.sprout.com
www.pbs.com
www.fisherprice.com
www.kidscookworld.com

Google individual web sites for her favorite tv characters. Barney and Dora have a lot of games you can play just by learning how to click. Once she learns how to drag and drop and use the arrow keys, the edugames multiply by 10.

Lots of parks around here. Bounceopolis. Funtastic. Chuck E Cheese. Run around the Galleria mall with its two play areas, food court and "family room". On a half decent day a walk around the Fountains mall in roseville, with its $2 train ride, the "movie theater" aka the home theater store and Whole Foods' play-supermarket with their very kid friendly buffet.

For some of these you need to be engaged with them, in many you can bring a book or a laptop and get a cup of coffee while they spin their wheels. I get a lot of mileage out of filling a cooler bag with fruit, string cheese, crackers and drinks and going to the park for the day with a couple of friends and their kids.

[RV3000]

Thanks for all your helpful tips and excellent websites. She does go to preschool 2 half days a week but after that she is constantly asking to do something! I feel bad to let her stay idle!

I do some crafts with her (e.g. she is still making valentine hearts!) but I need her to be on her own atleast for a couple of hours in the afternoons, as I work part-time, graveyard shifts and need to catch up on some much needed sleep to remain sane!

[Bill Z]

Try jigsaw puzzles, 40 piece that are 2' X 3', you can find them at "Toys that Teach".

Subscribe to "National Geographic Little Kids"

Or rely on her own ability to self entertain, and tell her to go play in her bedroom, by herself. If you force it, she will eventually figure out how to play by herself for awhile.

you can also buy Leapfrog toys that are fun yet teach things, or get some computer games that she can play on the computer. Legos has quite a few that allow them to be creative while learning art skills and stuff.

[stacycam]

I know she doesn't nap, but with my son (he'll be four on 3/2), even though he no longer naps, he still must stay in his room for an hour. We just go through the normal bedtime routine - reading stories, one song, and then I turn off the light and close his door. He usually turns the light on right away and starts reading. No matter what, he has to stay in his room until his "clock says three" (3:00 - but I usually just change his clock to make sure he's in there at least an hour).

You may try something similar, which is basically the same as what Bill Z said. You can call it "quiet time," "rest time," whatever works. I tried it with my daughter (who is 8 now) and since I was lazy about enforcing it, it never really stuck. But, with my son's endless energy, I need a break, so we never vary from the routine.

As for solo play, that is absolutely essential to her development. You could try to play a little, and then say you have to do something and go to a nearby room. Also, you could sort of sneak away when she in engrossed (that's not the same as sneaking away when you are leaving her). Make sure you have plenty activities that she doesn't need your help. Most of what you mentioned requires a parent's supervision. Limit that stuff and encourage more independent toys. You are creating a vicious circle.

Good luck. I know how it is! Hopefully you can get her to play on her own more. It really is best for her and you. It is super-important for kids to be able to occupy themselves.

Also, does she go to bed early? Maybe you could nap a few hours after she goes to bed, before you go to work.

[Erika]

Another activity you could try, if you haven't, is beading. The kids section at Micheal's has larger plastic beads, there are foam beads or cheerios. This usually occupies them awhile and keeps them focused and quiet.

[james1]

At 3 1/2, I would investigate putting her in preschool for, say, three half-days per week.

I have found it to be very beneficial and stimulating for children that age to have an environment other than home -- complete with fun teachers, new friends, new toys, etc. 3 1/2 is definitely old enough to spread one's wings beyond home.

I could not disagree more! Shipping your kid off to a pre-school at 3 1/2 is crazy especially when a parent is available to spend time with the child- Comments like this sicken me...

[bunny]

I couldnt disagree more with your disagreement. Spending a few hours a day, a few days a week in an environment where the child is involved with taking direction from an authority figure other than their parents, interacts with the same group of children to help develop relationship/social skills and...oh...the actual learning...is enormously beneficial.

Its also very helpful in getting them acclimated to a school environment before they find themselves spending 5 days a week at kindergarten.

This has been enormously beneficial to my son, who was 3.5 when he started. Couldnt recommend it more. We're sending him back again next year for 3 or 4 days a week of preschool.

[james1]

I couldnt disagree more with your disagreement. Spending a few hours a day, a few days a week in an environment where the child is involved with taking direction from an authority figure other than their parents, interacts with the same group of children to help develop relationship/social skills and...oh...the actual learning...is enormously beneficial.

Its also very helpful in getting them acclimated to a school environment before they find themselves spending 5 days a week at kindergarten.

This has been enormously beneficial to my son, who was 3.5 when he started. Couldnt recommend it more. We're sending him back again next year for 3 or 4 days a week of preschool.

Sorry, I can almost understand if both parents work (and still disagree) but when the parent is "available" to spend time and take care of their child there should be no need for pre-school or daycare. Its our job as parents to be the " authority" figure. There will be plenty of time interacting once they get into kindergarten. This is a crutial time in a childs life and they need to be with a parent. Cmon, Is there even a question? This is the problem with our society today, we rather "ship" our kid off to daycare than spend time with them!

[bunny]

I'd say something like "preschool is not even remotely the same thing as daycare", but I suspect your mind is already made up in the absence of a substantial quantity of facts.

[james1]

I'd say something like "preschool is not even remotely the same thing as daycare", but I suspect your mind is already made up in the absence of a substantial quantity of facts.

I do agree with you. But I still feel the same about pre-school. hey, its just my opinion

[bunny]

I have opinions as well. When mine differ from others, I usually dont make comments like "Yours sickens me". Unless, of course, they're real judgmental bozos.

My opinions are backed up by both endless studies that show that preschool benefits a child from day one and that the benefit persists throughout their lives, and my personal observations of the positive effects preschool has had on my child.

What are your opinions based upon, before I feel queasy and barf on them?