195 replies to this topic

[stacycam]

Okay - I posted a civil response and no one answered. I'm sorry, but this back and forth arguing is getting ridiculous!

We old folks see a problem. We are worried about kids making decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. We are trying to figure how not to let it happen. I plan to be pretty damned strict with my kids, but I don't know if that will help. I hope I teach my kids that they are too young for sex in high school, and that drugs are stupid. I hope they learn from my mistakes. I hope they are SMART with their decisions.

I just want to know what I am really up against. I guess I will have to assume the worst since no one seems to want to fess up. I just see the Folsom High kids mad that we old fogeys are not giving them credit they deserve, yet they are just pissing back. Instead of throwing insults, let us know what really is going on!

[Dave Burrell]

glad to see you are being civil now. and I'm not saying they made it up either, but the accusations about condoms and sex are not able to be said true or false because it was dark, people form a "mosh pit" in the middle to dance in and you cant see the floor or really what people are doing. now the flasks, i know some idiot probably brought one in but those are the kids that think they are gangsters. and the football game i was under a blanket. having sex? no trying to keep warm, i had a big jacket on but i was still cold so a blanket with a few other people made it even warmer. and no parent or faculty member working the concession stand were drunk. they wouldn't risk their jobs for that.

I'm try to always be civil, I like to think things thru logically rather then letting passion consume me (doesn't always work but I do try...)

Sorry if I came off strong, but I take offense to being told we're fools and stupid for believing what our own kids are telling us... it's not like we're at the store and we overhead a couple of giggling girls talking about it or the like....

I tend to trust my daughter, she has no reason to lie about stuff like that and good grief, kids barely ever wanna have conversations with thier parents, so when they do, its usually for a reason... she was obviously concerned about what she and her friends saw.

and, she has no reason to make it up because she knows by telling me stuff like that, it would risk me banning her from ever going to another dance again

[Dave Burrell]

Immaturity beams in those who are arguing and name calling. Regardless of whether people are misinformed are not this is no way to act. Now I understand why teenagers get a lack of respect at restraunts, movies, etc. A handful of people wreck it for the rest of us.

Exactly and its a shame a few knuckleheads at the dance did whatever it was they did that got this news posted on here in the first place

Don't you wish you could knock some sense into the bad ones so they would stop ruining it for all you good kids out there?

[JChastain]

very true, there are good and bad parts of both towns - I was from Lynwood - aka Watts

that and el cajon where i was were about the same. no arguments there
and to everyone continuing the insult fest, we are trying to get a point across. if somone says they were not freaking yes they were probably not telling the truth. Now to the parents worried with daughters, if you are worried just meet the fellow before your daughter goes to the dance. simple enough. any if you really have concerns regarding what goes on cause you are a parent i will give you my personal email and tell you what goes on. i am a senior so i have not seen it all but i can tell you what to expect having a kid start the dances.
so everyone going for each others throats now, be like me and try to reason with the others. now im going to go eat a muffin

[bw-]

Exactly and its a shame a few knuckleheads at the dance did whatever it was they did that got this news posted on here in the first place

Don't you wish you could knock some sense into the bad ones so they would stop ruining it for all you good kids out there?

Well, we've ruined things for people before, it happens. I just wish people had a little more remorse for there actions.

[Dave Burrell]

Well, we've ruined things for people before, it happens. I just wish people had a little more remorse for there actions.

that and plain ol' applied common sense would be nice too

[Dave Burrell]

that and el cajon where i was were about the same. no arguments there
and to everyone continuing the insult fest, we are trying to get a point across. if somone says they were not freaking yes they were probably not telling the truth. Now to the parents worried with daughters, if you are worried just meet the fellow before your daughter goes to the dance. simple enough. any if you really have concerns regarding what goes on cause you are a parent i will give you my personal email and tell you what goes on. i am a senior so i have not seen it all but i can tell you what to expect having a kid start the dances.
so everyone going for each others throats now, be like me and try to reason with the others. now im going to go eat a muffin

well said, and you're right - its up to us parents to have the right conversations with our kids, meet their dates, talk to them about life, try and teach them to do the right things and so on

that was a nice post and thanks for that offer and you might wanna reply to stacycam via pm too - she's been posting asking for this type of info

thanks to everyone for steering this back to a civil conversation

civil, reasonable discussions are always good and often educational for all parties involved

[realitycheck916]

nlove4ever - I would first like to thank you for showing your lack of faith in the future leaders of this society. I know that the concept of an intelligent student actually possessing profound writing capabilities may seem unseemingly, but wake up to reality; many students can actually express their opinions in a dignified manner (although I am sad to say that the "pissing contest" that has formed due to a couple of students does not justify this comment).

normajean - In the beginning of this heated blog you asked for answers about whether or not students were having sex on the dance floor. You got an answer and that answer was no. As a matter of fact, you got that answer more than once. However, instead of accepting this response and re-instilling confidence in the youth at Folsom High, you blatantly stated that you were "convinced" that students were having sex at that dance.

When you were a child did you ever play the telephone game? Remember, that game where you and ten of your closest friends stood in a line, the person on the far left whispered a phrase to the right and, after repeating this process nine times, the person on the far right blurted out something that was not even remotely similar to the beginning phrase. Congratulations, but you are a victim of the far right.

In addition, you tried to rally support to take action against these non-existent actions. If such actions were actually taking place I would have commended you for your motives. However, what are you doing? In the beginning of this blog you expressed a concern, a concern which prompted a number of high school students, some well spoken and others less so, to stand up against rumors and protect the credibility of their high school. Even after their responses, you continue to sit at your computer and complain. What does that show? What kind of action is that? You have merely sat around a pointed fingers at the school for not successfully policing a dance to stop sexual actions that were not happening. If you have valid concerns, why don't you handle this problem like an adult? Get off your computer, get in your car, and walk through the front doors of the Administration Office at Folsom High School. There you can talk to the receptionist, who will then redirect you to an individual on campus who can handle your whining.

Regardless, if I ever enter a "telephone game" contest, I will make sure to look you up.

[Dave Burrell]

a few kids and you say it didn't happen, a few kids brought it up unsolicited to their parents

why do you guys assume ALL the other kids were lying just because you didn't see it happen?

[Blade_Strong]

yes I am, thanks for proving you're not with that snide remark

were you in the middle of the dance floor the ENTIRE night - if not you cannot say you know what goes on every minute during the dance

looks like we're both immature then.

and as a matter of fact, i only left the center twice.... And even then i was on the outer part of the group.

[Dave Burrell]

looks like we're both immature then.

and as a matter of fact, i only left the center twice.... And even then i was on the outer part of the group.

ok mister blade_strong, lets stop this pissing match here and now because neither of us is going to relent

sorry, but I just find it hard to believe that you were every where all over to be able to make the statement that nothing bad went on the entire night - one person - even the adult chaperons - cannot be everywhere all the time

[JChastain]

well said, and you're right - its up to us parents to have the right conversations with our kids, meet their dates, talk to them about life, try and teach them to do the right things and so on

that was a nice post and thanks for that offer and you might wanna reply to stacycam via pm too - she's been posting asking for this type of info

thanks to everyone for steering this back to a civil conversation

civil, reasonable discussions are always good and often educational for all parties involved

exactly my point. this back and forth thing will not get us anywhere. really this post wont either. all it has achieved is panic upon parents and it has caused kids to rebel back.
and stacycam i do not know how this website works but if there is a way for you to send me a private message go for it and ill send you my email to fill you in on what happens at dances and answer any questions you have.

[mylo]

it was your generation that raised us, bud.

Not mine, I'm working on the next generation. I agree that a large percentage of your parents generation lost the plot when raising their kids. I read a great article on the subject that started the blame with Mr. Rogers.

[Blade_Strong]

Okay.

I'm gonna try this from another angle. (aka, no more snapping at others. at least for a while.)

Dav, i understand that your reasons are viable for believing that there was lewd misconduct occurring at the dance. However, the fact is, it's simply not feasible. It may have happened before or after the dance, yes. Even on the party bus some of the seniors took. (I dont support the concept of those things, and i dont even really like the kids that take them- most of them are the type of kids you're describing.)

As for the drug/alcohol abuse... yes, it's happened. It's ALWAYS happened. Kids did the same thing at your age as they do now, it's just that E has popped up and it terrifies people. For good reason. However, the thought that it's an "epidemic" is simply ludicrous. As for the showing up drunk..... that idea isnt QUITE as ludicrous, but it's still out there. If people are drunk, it's fairly easy to tell. Especially when there are breathalyzer tests going on. And Normajean, i'm sorry, but you think they had flasks taped to their thighs? With, to indirectly quote you, their "obscenely short dresses?" Not to mention, where will they drink it? What will they do with the flask when they're done, dance with it on?

StacyCam, the problem isnt terrible. A few kids do come to the dance stoned, etc. as has happened since our GRANDPARENTS time. A few might feel eachother up at the dance; it's dark and hormones are raging. But the fact is, people dont have outright sex at the dance. They freak dance, it's true. Occasionally, a swing dance song will come on. And, by the way, you should have seen the reaction to "What is Love?" when it was played. All freaking stopped, and the crowd just began to jump, scream, and sing along. I dont think my eardrums will ever be the same after that.

The thing is, i understand why parents feel it's disrespectful, outrageous, etc. But to us, it's not. The vast majority of girls that i know scorn the idea of not dancing that way. To them, it's just their preferred form of dancing. And it's the same with the guys. However, when some kids take it too far, they're often made fun of, scorned, and asked to stop. For example, my best friend picked up his girlfriends leg while they were front to front dancing and put it over his hip. It didn't last long, however, due to the dirty looks and snide remarks from others, including myself, about how they oughta just take it outside if they're going to do that.

So, with that said, i vote that we try to get this thread back on topic. I know i'm going to continue to be ridiculed, insulted, and that my opinions will be degraded for a while, but i'll try to keep the comebacks down.

What do you all think?

[gotsoccer256]

Okay I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. The adults that keeping saying the students who are actually replying shouldn't take this personally or what ever because they are the kids that aren't doing all the drugs and what ever else you are suggesting, give them a break. You are suggesting that the few kids you have heard of that are actually having "sex" on the dance floor should get them taken away for all the students at the school. Well, the few students who are actually replying are just trying to defend the ones you are acussing. Yes, they have gotten personal and some of the stabs aren't necessary but you are doing the same exact thing back.

As for what actually goes on at the dances. Yes, the "freaking" that you all suggest is basically having sex standing up can get out of hand and look like that, and shouldn't be tolerated. THAT is what the teachers are there for. People on this have given you your answers to the questions you have asked in the beginning.

Normajean: you wanted to know what was going on, now you do. You have had multiple students that were at the dance that I know for a fact were all there, and all know eachother but generally hang out with different people. All you and all the other adults have done to them is bash them... really how old are we. yes not all of their comments should have been worded the way they were. but what can you do now.

Yes as adults you have seen more in your life time than we have, but have you seen for your self what actually goes on at a high school dance, NOT from what your kids say or what their friends say, but what have you actually seen? As realitycheck said its like the telephone game stories change after being told by many people.

Having been to many high school dances in the past four years i have seen many things. Yes pepole do dance how they probably shouldn't, but thats just how this generation dances. Yes, there have been previous dances where kids have been caught with drugs inside and before they got into the dance. (proving to you that there are checks inside the dance) There are kids that do kiss or make-out on the dance floor, but that is something you can see walking around the school campus during a passing period. At junior prom last April, i did see a VP go up to a couple who was making out and tell them it wasn't apporiate. They all make efforts every dance to make them better.

This was the cleanest high school dance i have been to yet at this school. I know for a fact that people were taling about taping flasks to their legs, all the ones that were talking about it before though. Did you ask your daughter when they actually heard that people were going to. A lot of people talk about doing stuff but never actually do.

For the rumor of kids having sex in the dance floor, that is just a rumor. There are rumors like this after every dance. Again if your kids are telling you this are you hearing just some of the words, most people who are going to have sex on the night of the dance have enough integrity to at least leave the dance early to go have sex somewhere else.

And with everyone saying there isn't enough room to talk around, there is, but its very small. AND yes teahers walk straigt through the middle ofthe crowd, i have seen many teachers going through sutting wristbands and telling kids to stop.

If you have this much of a concern to what is going on at a high school dance, or think your kid can''t handle it. Then don't let your kid go. Don't ruin it for all the rest of the kid who can control them selves and know what is right and what is wrong. Or if they do Freak then they know when they have gotten dirty enough. Have you ever seen dirty dancing, our dancing isn't as bad as that but yet that movie is still ok.