235 replies to this topic

[Carl G]

From Younger V:

http://www.gocomics....bes/2007/12/21/

[ngilbert]

I think a Zombie would be a lot more interesting. Then Ngilbert's werewolves would have someone to play with.
Congratulations and good luck!

Apes, actually. Supermom's the one with the werewolf locked up in her basement (well, for one day out of the month at least - the other 30 days he's just some poor dude, apparently).

Anyway, Chris and Andrea, I'm glad you were able to resolve your conflict in the only reasonable and logical way available to you - by asking all of us what to do.

I majored in biology with a minor in voodoo, and If I recall correctly the zombie gene is recessive and passed down through the mother's side (That's from memory. I can double check. Somewhere in a box around here I still have my old texbook "Madame LeVeaux's Guide to Mitochondrial DNA and Forbidden Incantations").

So Andrea, you may want to investigate on *your* mother's side to see if there's any family history of undead brain-eating and feasting on the living anyone remembers. Any at all. Even if it seems like nothing.

You may also want to start taking multivitamins, get regular checkups for gestational diabetes, and sacrifice a chicken to ward off the whammy and evil eye, all of which will help even if the child is not a zombie.

[supermom]

Apes, actually. Supermom's the one with the werewolf locked up in her basement (well, for one day out of the month at least - the other 30 days he's just some poor dude, apparently).

Anyway, Chris and Andrea, I'm glad you were able to resolve your conflict in the only reasonable and logical way available to you - by asking all of us what to do.

I majored in biology with a minor in voodoo, and If I recall correctly the zombie gene is recessive and passed down through the mother's side (That's from memory. I can double check. Somewhere in a box around here I still have my old texbook "Madame LeVeaux's Guide to Mitochondrial DNA and Forbidden Incantations").

So Andrea, you may want to investigate on *your* mother's side to see if there's any family history of undead brain-eating and feasting on the living anyone remembers. Any at all. Even if it seems like nothing.

You may also want to start taking multivitamins, get regular checkups for gestational diabetes, and sacrifice a chicken to ward off the whammy and evil eye, all of which will help even if the child is not a zombie.

uh--hu hu hu hu!!!

You forgot one teensy little part. Which I'll forgive since you haven't been back to the vampires night school on ritualistic undead sychophantic traditions and potions classes since you got bit by my pet undead night crawler.

Lot's and lot's of exercise. And it should not be limited to traditional running-jumping, kind of stuff. If you truly want a zombie baby it is required of the parents to go on a spiritual quest of true fear. Those fears must be met head on--and the parent carrying the soon to be zombie child must have a wicked, and very loyal familiar---such as a vicious black cat.

However by reading prior posts about the V's cat that scared StevetheDad--I say they already have such a beastie.

Ps. If you really want a great ( not good, but great zombie) you should bathe in the waters of the Irish Moors in 3rd month of pregnancy right at full moon. That may be problematic unless your mate is able to protect you both from the wild vampiric league. I hear they don't care much for westerners.

Good luck to ya' both.

[ngilbert]

Those fears must be met head on--and the parent carrying the soon to be zombie child must have a wicked, and very loyal familiar---such as a vicious black cat.

However by reading prior posts about the V's cat that scared StevetheDad--I say they already have such a beastie.

You mean "The Widowmaker" as the neighborhood birds call him? Yeah, he'll do just fine.

Thanks for reminding me about that other stuff. I'm totally rusty and of course lot has changed in our field since I got my diploma/pentagram tattoo.

[Vinny]

There are lots of different perspectives so I'll share a few of my own friends and family.

* My best friend was in a similar situation as yourself Chris. He had one thing at 18 and almost a decade later his wife wanted another thing. She had all these ideas of how things would be brothers and sisters playing together, and so on. None of it came to pass.

He wanted her to be happy so he gave in. Well, thing #2 was the same sex, so about 3-4 years passed and she was sad because she didn't have a thing of the opposite sex, and the first thing didn't play with the 2nd thing (no duh), and the 2nd thing was really being raised as an only child because of the age difference. Her ideas of the 1st helping babysit, and raise the other thing ended up as a disaster in contempt by the first thing who felt being forced to do something it didn't want.

Bottom line, she was still unhappy. Again, he gave in and they had a 3rd thing and lucky for them it was the opposite sex. Well, she was happy for all of about 1-2yrs, and then complained about the lack of freedom, work involved, his limited cooperation in child rearing (which was the agreement for thing #2 and #3). So she still wasn't happy. Ultimately, they divorced.

He shared that in retrospect, he came to realize that happiness comes from within, not material objects or things or how tv portrays 'perfect' families. To this day she isn't happy. His error was in attempts to try to make her happy (his words).

** On to story #2. A close couple that wanted thing #2 after 6 years with only one thing. Similar story as the one above except that she gave him an ultimatum. Either thing #2 or the end of the marriage so she can go on to thing #2 with someone else. He gave in. She got pregnant and ended up having twins (twins don't run in either of their families and they were not using any fertility treatments). At least in their case they remained married and she was happy, but he still isn't happy about his situation and still resents it to this day.

*** On to #3. This one the couple agreed to have at least 1 girl. As if they have some control over that in the 60s. They ended up with 5 boys and living paycheck to paycheck for life. She asked for thing #6. He walked out and was never heard from again.

**** On to #4. This one is sadder than the others. After the first thing, 7 years or so passed and the wife asked for thing #2. At first he said no. Then there was an accident and the first thing died. The couple decided to have another child. She was still young, late twenties when they got pregnant with #2. That thing was born with problems (physical and mental). I'll spare you the details. Suffice to say that financially, emotionally, and physically it destroyed them. Thing #2 died of complications several years later. She was in her mid 30s when they attempted thing #3. She had a beautiful baby boy, and in the process died of complications during birth. The father remarried years later. At 7 years of age, the third thing died from leukemia.

I have another half a dozen more of these personal life experiences, but I believe that's enough to show the point. You never know how life is going to turn out and you can't control it.

We have more than one child and it's simply basic math. When you have 1, you can give them 100% of your time and attention, when you have 2 that's 50%, when you have 3, that's 33% and so on. Time has to come from someplace. We know plenty of people with multiple kids that always struggle with that concept in trying to give all their children the proper level of attention. Both my parents and my wife's parents come from large families, and when I say large I'm talking double digits. It's not hollywood, kids do get left behind in large families and neither my parents nor my wife's parents speak to many of their siblings.

In closing, like wrabbit's experience, my wife and her sister are 10yrs apart and don't speak to each other. My wife still resents having to give up much of her childhood having to care for her younger sister. At the time, her parents thought it was great that the older one can help the younger one without giving much thought to how the older child felt.

You can give your wife another child, what you can never give her is happiness. She's going to have to look within herself to find that.

[Ronda]

My only sibling was 23 years old when I was born. We have had some rough patches over the years, but I love her, and I think she loves me.

She has five children of her own, all grown now. Her eldest is only 8 months younger than I am.

It seems that Andrea and Chris have come to their decision. Now it is left for nature to take its course.

If you're ever feeling overwhelmed by responsibility, take a look at this website:

http://www.duggarfamily.com/

And, I guarantee, things won't look so bad!

[wrabbit]

Vinny......

THAT, was a very wise post!

Happiness isn't a baby, a new car or a new house....it comes from inside when you are living in the moment, and appreciating what you have. With a car, you can take it back, with a house you can sell it, with a baby, there is no turning back....it's for life.

Many women will never be happy unless there is a baby in the family, whether it be theirs or their children's.
I think the folks in the old days were having more babies, due to a lack of birth control. But that worked out, because they needed workers for the crops on the farm. And yes, many got left to help raise the young ones.
My mother came from such a family and told me the old movies about those large happy families weren't always the case. Reality often bites, doesn't it?

Speaking of which, can someone answer a question for me? The wife and I have two girls, born three years apart....why did they never play together? We spaced their births so they would be close. Why are they so different from each other? And why did my oldest, tell me just the other day, that Mommy and I should not have had more kids, because her sister is stupid and a slob? I get the sad feeling that my daughters will never have a good relationship. That, as soon as they can put some large space between them, they will in a nano second. My wife and I have tried everything to bring them together, but to no avail. What do we do?
Now, we are looking at trying to get another bathroom, because they hate sharing one and there is a fight every morning. What happened to our happy, happy family?

Chris and Andrea, I wish you both many happy years and hope all works out. I hope they bond more successfully than I did with my little brother, or my two girls have been able to.

As some one much wiser than I said...."Man makes plans as God laughs." (or something like that)

[chris v]

Vinny......

THAT, was a very wise post!

Happiness isn't a baby, a new car or a new house....it comes from inside when you are living in the moment, and appreciating what you have. With a car, you can take it back, with a house you can sell it, with a baby, there is no turning back....it's for life.

Many women will never be happy unless there is a baby in the family, whether it be theirs or their children's.
I think the folks in the old days were having more babies, due to a lack of birth control. But that worked out, because they needed workers for the crops on the farm. And yes, many got left to help raise the young ones.
My mother came from such a family and told me the old movies about those large happy families weren't always the case. Reality often bites, doesn't it?

Speaking of which, can someone answer a question for me? The wife and I have two girls, born three years apart....why did they never play together? We spaced their births so they would be close. Why are they so different from each other? And why did my oldest, tell me just the other day, that Mommy and I should not have had more kids, because her sister is stupid and a slob? I get the sad feeling that my daughters will never have a good relationship. That, as soon as they can put some large space between them, they will in a nano second. My wife and I have tried everything to bring them together, but to no avail. What do we do?
Now, we are looking at trying to get another bathroom, because they hate sharing one and there is a fight every morning. What happened to our happy, happy family?

Chris and Andrea, I wish you both many happy years and hope all works out. I hope they bond more successfully than I did with my little brother, or my two girls have been able to.

As some one much wiser than I said...."Man makes plans as God laughs." (or something like that)

My brother is 3 years younger than me but we were complete opposites growing up. While we could play a game together nothing much else really happened. Now that we are older we seem to get along a lot better and even enjoy hanging out. I think a lot of it had to do with maturity levels.

[Andrea V]

From Younger V:

http://www.gocomics....bes/2007/12/21/

HAAAAAA!! I love it! Thanks

[bordercolliefan]

The above posts got me wondering about family size and the resulting success of the children. I googled it -- it looks like the research shows a reverse correlation between family size and educational achievement. As one study put it:

Controlling for parental education, parental age at birth and family level attributes, we find that children from larger families have lower levels of education, that there is a separate negative birth order effect, and that the family size effect does not vanish once we control for birth order. http://ideas.repec.o...eprdp/5453.html

Another one:
Family size is a variable of great interest to those who study children. Empirical studies consistently have found a negative association between family size and children's mental ability, intelligence, and educational attainment. Two theoretical explanations have been posited to explain these negative relationships. Dilution theory suggests that as the number of siblings increases, fewer resources (e.g., parental love and attention, finances) are available to facilitate the development of each child. The confluence model offers a more complex explanation that considers the interrelationships among the number of siblings, child spacing, birth order, and parent-child interactions. Although larger families include positive characteristics such as increased family socialization and father involvement, increased family size also is associated with more authoritarian parenting, which, in turn, can negatively impact a child's self-esteem, self- differentiation, and ego identity. http://social.jrank....amily-Size.html

Obviously this won't hold true in every case, but it does accord with common sense (more kids mean less $$ to spend per kid). Thoughts? Experiences?

[GaryH]

Bill Cosby on parenting:

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

The arrival of a baby coincides with the departure of our minds.

People with one child are real parents.

[Ronda]

Bill Cosby on parenting:

People with one child are real parents.

What I heard Bill Cosby say is "People with one child are NOT real parents." (Emphasis mine.)

He expounds on that statement by saying that people with one child never experience the "not me" thing of children blaming misdeeds on one another. (He's MUCH funnier about it than I am in my characterization of his comments here, but that's the gist of it.)

[doj_gal]

No one can tell you what the right number of children to have. Have as many as you can afford and devote "QUALITY" time to. That number varies for each family. My parents had four kids and although we were never over abundtly showered for gifts. We always had what we needed, a lot of what we wanted and LOTS of love...My parents are freaks of nature...Well technically my mom. She was an amazing mother and I never felt left out. For me, growing up in a big family helped me in many ways. I have my siblings for support and advise. We shared the household chores. Overall it was just easier for my parents and will be so as they age and need more care! I love my siblngs more than anything and I know it would have been very lonely without them!

I personally only want two children at the most. More than that I fear will be too much on me and my future spouse...This is from personal experience with taking care of my two neices...Let's just pray I have boys...because a 2 year old and 3 year old girl together=HELL!!!

P.S. V's good luck...I will send you all my baby making vibes!!

[Ronda]

The above posts got me wondering about family size and the resulting success of the children. I googled it -- it looks like the research shows a reverse correlation between family size and educational achievement. As one study put it:

Controlling for parental education, parental age at birth and family level attributes, we find that children from larger families have lower levels of education, that there is a separate negative birth order effect, and that the family size effect does not vanish once we control for birth order. http://ideas.repec.o...eprdp/5453.html

Another one:
Family size is a variable of great interest to those who study children. Empirical studies consistently have found a negative association between family size and children's mental ability, intelligence, and educational attainment. Two theoretical explanations have been posited to explain these negative relationships. Dilution theory suggests that as the number of siblings increases, fewer resources (e.g., parental love and attention, finances) are available to facilitate the development of each child. The confluence model offers a more complex explanation that considers the interrelationships among the number of siblings, child spacing, birth order, and parent-child interactions. Although larger families include positive characteristics such as increased family socialization and father involvement, increased family size also is associated with more authoritarian parenting, which, in turn, can negatively impact a child's self-esteem, self- differentiation, and ego identity. http://social.jrank....amily-Size.html

Obviously this won't hold true in every case, but it does accord with common sense (more kids mean less $$ to spend per kid). Thoughts? Experiences?

Well, we are talking about two children here (which hardly constitutes a "large" family). I wonder how many children the researchers are defining as a "large" family?

I know a couple who had 11 children. My cousin and his wife had 9. It all depends on the people involved. If the older siblings like to play "school" with the younger ones, it can actually have a beneficial effect. Also, the older children tend to become mature and responsible. While I suppose heavy responsibility at a young age could provoke rebellion, that has not been the case with the large families I know.

How would any of us define what constitutes a large family? I would say at that six children constitute a large family. Five, on the verge. Even four children is a little unusual these days, but I don't believe it would qualify as "large," at least not in my mind.

[Montrose]

Why would anyone seeking advice on PERSONAL ISSUES on MyFolsom Forum?