272 replies to this topic

[onemoretime]

Ok, i only read the last page, but is this hole thread about a gay guy who got called a f.a.g in high school? please someone save me from 16 more pages of reading. or is it worth the time?

[Victorita9]

eh you need to read the first page and last. And maybe one in between to get the gist of everything!

[Solartide]

Quite a few good laughs in the thread, I only got up to 12 or so, but funny stuff.

[swmr545]

I would hope to think that the people who did the harassing was sorry for it. Just think of the problems they would bring to our society they didn't change their ways.Giving people death threats just because they didn't like them. Obviously the person who did the bullying at the time didn't learn about tolerance from his/her parents.

What irks me about the lawsuit is that the school did hardly anything. I know that it is some people's decision not to tell the school administrators when they're being bullied and thats their decision. But when a victim tells the school and the school does nothing or condones it then there's a problem.

A question for people:
Would you feel upset if your kid got death threats or teased because he/she was a certain race/religion/sexual orientation/gender and the school didn't want to do anything? Even though he/she had the courage to say something about their death threats/teasing? or would you say "i was teased so its ok for them to be teased" or would you be pissed off take action against the school for not doing anything?

I know the person suing is not the parent but the victim. i wanted the situation what you would do if it was your child but the same or similar situation.

Interesting that no one has responded.

I hope that those parents who have said that harassment is all a part of growing up don't get upset when their children are harassed; and that they have told their children to just deal with it and move on with their life if it ever does happen to them.

[Solartide]

Look, I liked riding my bike as a kid. White kids didn't like Chinese kids apparently, when I rode to near them they threw stuff at me. One of them chucked their skateboard at me, but missed. Hit my bike, knocked it out from underneath me, I went flying. I was fine though, some scratches, a few cuts. My helmet was cracked open though. Saved my life that helmet. Death threats? Naw, but I nearly died cause of racial differences. Got home that day, parents asked what happened. "Oh, I fell off my bike, but I'm fine, just need some bandages."

Man up and move on man.

[folsom500]

Interesting that no one has responded.

I hope that those parents who have said that harassment is all a part of growing up don't get upset when their children are harassed; and that they have told their children to just deal with it and move on with their life if it ever does happen to them.

First- have you heard parents in this topic tell you that the 'children to just deal with it and move on with thier lives ?

Second - Remind us - just how often were you harassed at school ? From your pervious accounts- it was ONLY 3 times -- You have never suggested it was an ongoing thing in your many posts-- Am I right >?

.. and finally for now - If it was only 3 times - what is your beef with this lawsuit ?


Inquiring minds would like to know ...

Or - as often - you can just ignore my post....


Cheers
F500

[Victorita9]

Look, I liked riding my bike as a kid. White kids didn't like Chinese kids apparently, when I rode to near them they threw stuff at me. One of them chucked their skateboard at me, but missed. Hit my bike, knocked it out from underneath me, I went flying. I was fine though, some scratches, a few cuts. My helmet was cracked open though. Saved my life that helmet. Death threats? Naw, but I nearly died cause of racial differences. Got home that day, parents asked what happened. "Oh, I fell off my bike, but I'm fine, just need some bandages."

Man up and move on man.

kudos to you for getting over your past experiences! But say you did tell your parents and they said "whatever," wouldn't you feel a little pissed off?

[tessieca]

I hope that those parents who have said that harassment is all a part of growing up don't get upset when their children are harassed; and that they have told their children to just deal with it and move on with their life if it ever does happen to them.

My parents did not blame the schools when we, as kids were harassed, including my gay brother. I am not inclined to blame school administrators or a district for student against student harassment.

I don't know why Victorita9 assumes that any person condoned any harassment at school. In my 23 years' experience with schools, I have never found an adult who condoned bullying or harassment.

[bordercolliefan]

I doubt the schools can prevent every incident of harassment.

At the same time, it drives me crazy when I hear adults take a "kids will be kids" or "I survived it, so will they" attitude toward bullying. Part of our job as adults is to help kids develop empathy and understanding for other human beings. It takes a village: every one of us -- teacher, parent or whatever -- should take a stand against bullying when we see it occuring.

Otherwise we end up with a nation of sociopaths.

[dontBfooled]

... ok I could only get through the first 6 pages of this thread before we started with the making fun of people who believe in God....

A few things that have crossed my mind:
- To the "Gay Kid" even though that name seems to show a lack of self respect; it sucks that you were made fun of
- In today's society there are people who don't agree with the choices of others and some choose to express that in the wrong way. In my opinion (and I am a Jesus freak but I am not judging you..period) being gay is your choice and the way others react to that is their choice.
- From the sounds of it you did not get hurt, and thank God for that and there were some derogatory comments made 3 times..
It is not the school's job to monitor the opinions of kids it is their parents/environment, etc. that influence those opinions, and that is how they are now hard wired.

Unfortunately, this is probably not going to be the last time this is going to happen to you. If you have enough fight in to sue every time, that is totally your choice. But at some point in your life, you might find it easier to forgive people and move on. You will never be able to force people to accept your lifestyle. Just like people will never force you to accept being called derogatory names.

You have got a long road ahead of you and a lot to consider, I hope in the end, whatever way things turn out for you...that you can just find some peace with the choices you have made. I hope you will not live the rest of your life as a victim.

Good luck to you and God Bless

[swmr545]

First- have you heard parents in this topic tell you that the 'children to just deal with it and move on with thier lives ?

Second - Remind us - just how often were you harassed at school ? From your pervious accounts- it was ONLY 3 times -- You have never suggested it was an ongoing thing in your many posts-- Am I right >?

.. and finally for now - If it was only 3 times - what is your beef with this lawsuit ?
Inquiring minds would like to know ...

Or - as often - you can just ignore my post....
Cheers
F500

As I've stated earlier, I believed I answered all of your questions.

"lifes tough-GET OVER IT! HS is horrible for a lot of people, you cant fix the fact that HS wasnt the best for you by suing for nothing. I hope they do a counter suit, for you waisting everyones time!" and "Couldn't you just suck it up and keep it internalized a little more?" and "You either man up and defend yourself, or get through it and move on with your life." and "If you cannot take being made fun of, at any age then you need to get some counseling to learn how to cope...Doesn't make it right but it is life and helps toughen your skin..."

For being harassed in school, I reported three seperate incidents. What is your definition of harassment? To me, when people were calling me a fag, c*ck sucker, FOB, chink, jap, pedophile, etc I considered that harassment. However, I didn't report it because of my experience in reporting harassment issues to the school.

My "beef with the lawsuit" is that the school did not adhere to the laws that were in place, and to the point of my graduating, they still didn't adhere to the non-discrimination laws. It took me 2.5 years to get a response, I was never assigned a compliance officer, and I was never informed in any communications what my rights were in the appealing process.

I may not have been injured physically to a serious extent, but I was traumatized (sp?) emotionally. For the remainder of my sophomore year through graduation, I had an issue using the restrooms on campus. I was not comfortable enough sitting outside to eat a lunch and would spend the vast majority of my lunch periods in a teacher's classroom. If I did see a group of girls I knew, I would sit with them. But would eventually leave to go to the teacher's classroom.

My GPA dropped from a 3.0 to a 1.8 in just one semester at school. It took the remaining two years to bring my GPA up to a near 3.0. The districts response to that was something to the effect that since I was able to raise my GPA it indicated that I wasn't suffering (after I had a meeting with an Asst. Sup and expressed my condition).

[jafount]

As I've stated earlier, I believed I answered all of your questions.

"lifes tough-GET OVER IT! HS is horrible for a lot of people, you cant fix the fact that HS wasnt the best for you by suing for nothing. I hope they do a counter suit, for you waisting everyones time!" and "Couldn't you just suck it up and keep it internalized a little more?" and "You either man up and defend yourself, or get through it and move on with your life." and "If you cannot take being made fun of, at any age then you need to get some counseling to learn how to cope...Doesn't make it right but it is life and helps toughen your skin..."

For being harassed in school, I reported three seperate incidents. What is your definition of harassment? To me, when people were calling me a fag, c*ck sucker, FOB, chink, jap, pedophile, etc I considered that harassment. However, I didn't report it because of my experience in reporting harassment issues to the school.

Seriously man. If how you are on this board in any way resembles how you were in high school, it's no wonder you were made fun of. You bring attention to yourself, then complain because of the unwanted attention. Honestly, I don't even know you except for reading the drivel you constantly post here and I want to knock you upside the nugget as well.

In short, all of the name calling, taunting and harassment you've endured you have totally and completely brought upon yourself.

If you honestly think that this life is about getting everything you want, you're in for a really long and crappy life.

Quit running around and looking to everyone else to fight your battles for you and understand that there are sometimes unpleasantries that each of us has to deal with from time to time.

Even though it will do no good because despite the fact that you think you're a smart, open minded progressive guy and the opposite is really true, I'm going to leave you with something to think about.

A mans character is not measured by how he handles adversity, it is merely revealed.

How do you think the outsiders looking in at you would would measure your character?

[Victorita9]

My parents did not blame the schools when we, as kids were harassed, including my gay brother. I am not inclined to blame school administrators or a district for student against student harassment.

I don't know why Victorita9 assumes that any person condoned any harassment at school. In my 23 years' experience with schools, I have never found an adult who condoned bullying or harassment.

People get harassed every day at school and the school is in no way responsible for the harassment that took place. But, if someone speaks out about their experience then the school should do what they can to punish or warn people about the consequences of harassment.

Example. A friend of mine got a piece of her hair cut off while she was not not aware of it. When she found out she told a teacher and Folsom high school had a field day. They sent letters to students saying that what happened was horrible and if anyone knew any information to please tell a faculty member. And this was just with someone getting their hair chopped off. The school should have done more in response to death threats. Any effort to do something would have been good. But i do not think there was none.

But at least FHS started actively tackling issues that are happening in the school during the time when Mr. Richards started being principal. i am not sure if he still is but he is/was a good principle.

What i thinks is going to hurt FHS was the counselor who suggested that he leave the school and the schools hesitance to solve the issue. If the school had actively talked about the issue and punishment of bullying then it would have been difficult to sue.

[swmr545]

Seriously man. If how you are on this board in any way resembles how you were in high school, it's no wonder you were made fun of. You bring attention to yourself, then complain because of the unwanted attention. Honestly, I don't even know you except for reading the drivel you constantly post here and I want to knock you upside the nugget as well.

In short, all of the name calling, taunting and harassment you've endured you have totally and completely brought upon yourself.

If you honestly think that this life is about getting everything you want, you're in for a really long and crappy life.

Quit running around and looking to everyone else to fight your battles for you and understand that there are sometimes unpleasantries that each of us has to deal with from time to time.

Even though it will do no good because despite the fact that you think you're a smart, open minded progressive guy and the opposite is really true, I'm going to leave you with something to think about.

A mans character is not measured by how he handles adversity, it is merely revealed.

How do you think the outsiders looking in at you would would measure your character?

I know who I am and how I am. You do not seem to take the time to read any other posts I start other than the ones dealing with LGBT issues. If you are going to identify me as gay and gay only, so be it.

In high school I was the quiet kid. I did my work and turned it in on time, I worked in groups when I had to, and when we would have free time in class I would be reading a book.

As for what I want out of life, I know what I want out of it. I've come to learn that it isn't a walk through the park. You know nothing of my personal experiences other than me being harassed in high school.

Who have I gone to and have fight my battles for me?

As for the "outsiders looking in", that's their own problem. If they don't want to take the time to get to know me (like you), then they can have their own opinions about me. I am willing/ready to meet anyone on this forum. Are you willing/ready to meet me? Do you want to get to know me? Or are you going to keep your opinion about me and not try to learn anything else there is to know about me?

If you ask the people that know me well to describe me, they will have an entirely different opinion about me than you do. Even some of the people that opposed the legislation I lobbied for commented about my personality. And if those people that condemn me to hell can show me some respect, then you can too.

[swmr545]

Look, I liked riding my bike as a kid. White kids didn't like Chinese kids apparently, when I rode to near them they threw stuff at me. One of them chucked their skateboard at me, but missed. Hit my bike, knocked it out from underneath me, I went flying. I was fine though, some scratches, a few cuts. My helmet was cracked open though. Saved my life that helmet. Death threats? Naw, but I nearly died cause of racial differences. Got home that day, parents asked what happened. "Oh, I fell off my bike, but I'm fine, just need some bandages."

Man up and move on man.

Was your life threatened for being Chinese? Were you ever followed home by racist groups/persons? Have you been called a communist spy like my aunt was? Were you told to go to hell for being Chinese? Was your car vandalized for being Chinese?

Why didn't you tell your parents what really happened? And as victoria asked, what would you have done if they ignored what you said and didn't care that you were attacked?

How about if you are mugged on the street and you call the police and they tell you to "man up and move on"?