16 replies to this topic

[Karate Chick]

Just a little inside information for all you parents...kids in edh often complain about the lack of activities and places to go around here. a lot of them resort to drinking, drugs, racing, etc. because they claim to be bored and aren't smart enough to think of something else to do. i most definitely believe the blame belongs primarily to the parents. if you don't spend enough time with your kids, don't pass on values, and don't teach responsibility, you can bet your kid will end up doing at least one of these things. so to all those work-aholics: do yourself and your kids a favor, don't spend so much time at work (money is NOT everyting) and spend more time raising your kids. my parents took this approach and i'm proud to say i've never engaged in the use of drugs/alcohol and i've never supported street racing. stop taking indirect approaches to fixing this problem and do your job as a parent if you want to see positive results.

-and EDH teen

[tsukiji]

Just a little inside information for all you parents...kids in edh often complain about the lack of activities and places to go around here. a lot of them resort to drinking, drugs, racing, etc. because they claim to be bored and aren't smart enough to think of something else to do. i most definitely believe the blame belongs primarily to the parents. if you don't spend enough time with your kids, don't pass on values, and don't teach responsibility, you can bet your kid will end up doing at least one of these things. so to all those work-aholics: do yourself and your kids a favor, don't spend so much time at work (money is NOT everyting) and spend more time raising your kids. my parents took this approach and i'm proud to say i've never engaged in the use of drugs/alcohol and i've never supported street racing. stop taking indirect approaches to fixing this problem and do your job as a parent if you want to see positive results.

-and EDH teen

First, let me commend you for seeming to possess a perspective and maturity not generally associated with those in your age group (by what/how you've written, I'd guess you were a junior or senior in HS but perhaps you're writing retrospectively).

I don't disagree with what you've written. A large part of how kids behave is formed by their parents and the value/discipline they instill upon their kids. And you're right, while jobs and working hard are a considerable factor in raising kids (ie - being able to provide sufficiently), they are not the end objectives. This being said, there are perhaps other things to consider that affect behavior. Friends, TV/media and other social influences. Interests outside of school. Fundamental attitudes towards the meaning of life. Thoughts about the future.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while I agree that parents should substantially influence kids, their values and resulting behavior, the fact remains that kids in school, by the nature of them being away from their parents, can be heavily influenced by external factors like peer pressure, media/TV, teachers, etc, that may be in conflict with 'correct' behavior. Ultimately, each kid will have to make a decision that suites him/herself. Choosing to follow 'incorrect' patterns of behavior implies that they are willing to accept the consequences of those actions above other choices.

Taken from the other perspective, you can see why this is especially important. Kids that don't receive good guidance from their parents can still develop good values and discipline. As a HS school student (or beyond), you probably understand the modern concept of existentialism. I guess one question is when does freedom and responsibility become owned by a maturing youth? To that end, perhaps there is a joint responsibilty between parent and child in ensuring the latter's maturity.

As an aside, I grew up during a period relatively wild abandon. Even then, I found it hard to find time to do anything but focus on grades and sports. I would imagine that today there is even more to learn and sports are even more competitive. How is there time to do anything else? There shouldn't be boredom or a lack of places to go, activities to do. Books to study, music to play, sports to compete. Such was life when I was in HS and I had a great time -- some of the best years of my life.