31 replies to this topic

[camay2327]

Party for a dog, you must be kidding....

[Andrea V]

Party for a dog, you must be kidding....

hey, I was trying real hard not to laugh about that.... you're not helping...

[chris v]

I wouldn't let my child hang out with a family that made comments like that. It is racist and I would call her on it next time she says something.

[pet lover]

I like that idea. As a teacher I don't allow invitations to be passed out unless it is to the whole class or all boy/all girl only parties. As much as I try to help the kids remember to take them home I find many in desks after the date listed on the invitation. Play it on the fact that you think your child lost the invite and you need to know more specifics. Unless it is a very "closed" party she'll probably weasel her way out of the bad situation and invite your daughter over the phone! I would encourage your child to be friends with the little girl but certainly not go out of your way to invite her over until she is invited over to the friend's house first!

I'd call her mom and say, your kid told my kid he was invited to her party... but I never got an invitation... is there a missing invitation... or did my daughter misunderstand, and is not invited?

the other mom is ruuuude!! and I'm not sure I'd want my kid over there any way...

After reading the rest of the thread I wouldn't question the race/class thing either because it will be very uncomfortable when meeting out and about and it wouldn't surprise me if she starts working at her daughter the end her friendship with your daughter. I'm sorry that your family is experiencing such prejudice in this "salad bowl" state! I would try to shelter your daughter and avoid having her feelings get hurt, if possible, while she is young. Is there a possibility your daughter can get on another sports team so she can meet some more young girls and establish some new friends!

[Darthvader]

Party for a dog, you must be kidding....

Exactly. Why would you even want to associate with nut jobs who have bday parties for a dog?

AH rags on Folsom mom's for all kinds of stuff but it's ok to be invited to a canine party? Man I feel like I just got back from some weird time warp or something.

[asbestoshills]

Exactly....Yeah, she wouldn't attend even if invited now....However, these comments that were said have been over the course of several years and it's not like I haven't heard similiar negative connotations through the years, especially the "tan" one. The Obama one was the last negative comment and that could be a class or a racist comment indirectly. Either way, I told my daughter to not play with the little girl and if her friend questions why, I told her to ask her mom or dad why.

[fromhnl]

Exactly....Yeah, she wouldn't attend even if invited now....However, these comments that were said have been over the course of several years and it's not like I haven't heard similiar negative connotations through the years, especially the "tan" one. The Obama one was the last negative comment and that could be a class or a racist comment indirectly. Either way, I told my daughter to not play with the little girl and if her friend questions why, I told her to ask her mom or dad why.

Man, why do you keep giving this woman and her family more opportunities to show you that they aren't screwed on too tight? Telling your daughter to ask the girl's parents why they can't play sounds like mutual verbal and emotional combat for both parties. It's one thing to send out wacky invites...but it's a another whole bag of marbles to attend. This sounds more like a mental health issue with racist overtones.

[asbestoshills]

Sure, turn it around......I'm not subjecting my daughter to why she wasn't invited. We simply told her to not play with her b/c it's rude to invite her to a dog party and not to her real party. If her friend asks why, I told my daughter to tell her friend to ask her parents why...Nothing wrong with that..and maybe THEY can explain their racist and werid ways...It's not my for my daughter to explain or even know about it...She's too young to be exposed to such racist bs---.....If her mom and dad want to give their own daughter some made up bs--- excuse that's their domain.

[asbestoshills]

Exactly. Why would you even want to associate with nut jobs who have bday parties for a dog?

AH rags on Folsom mom's for all kinds of stuff but it's ok to be invited to a canine party? Man I feel like I just got back from some weird time warp or something.

Actually, my daughter brought her dog to her party. So, it was a surreal experience to say the least and a testament to why there are two Petsmarts and a Petco, not to mention Sbarkles a doggie daycare and other related stores in Folsom alone...
We don't really associate with each other except the fact that our daughter's are friends. She came over through-out the school year and during our pick-up/dro-off times at playdates were these little comments made over the course of several years...I helped her when she was the room mom and that's the only contact we have had with them....Our daughters just happened to be in each other's classes for the last three years and became school friends...It's not their fault her parents are nut jobs....But at the same time, my daughter is hurt enough without even the racist bs being brought into it...The fact alone that she didn't extend the invite to someone she plays with daily, but invited other kids that don't says enough to me that she doesn't care if she hurts another child's feelings or not. My daughter just thinks she's rude and my daughter doesn't want to play with her anymore b.c of the non-invite.

[gm2005]

I guess after all that this women has said to you I would just not go out of my way to socialize, invite or go to play dates, parties etc.
I wouldn't go as far as tell my child not to play with the other kid while at school, but I really wouldn't go out of my way to try and get the playdates going.
If you feel comfortable and if your child and the other kid get along nice and play well, you can keep inviting her over to your house. Main reason I say this, is that both your kid and the other kid will benefit from positive teachings and being exposed to different race, culture, way of life etc. As they get older if you see that the other kid is "picking up" her parent's negative attitudes then you can stop the socialization and because your child will be older (not sure how old she is right now) and able to understand more.

Good luck and it sucks that you are in this situation in this day and age. However, from what you have said, I don't think you saying anything to this women will change her mind. It sounds like she is one of those people who are "pasive racist" (be that on the true race side, cultural side or socio-economic side) and most likely she will just turn it into you being racist if you know what I mean.

[4thgenFolsomite]

I guess after all that this women has said to you I would just not go out of my way to socialize, invite or go to play dates, parties etc.
I wouldn't go as far as tell my child not to play with the other kid while at school, but I really wouldn't go out of my way to try and get the playdates going.
If you feel comfortable and if your child and the other kid get along nice and play well, you can keep inviting her over to your house. Main reason I say this, is that both your kid and the other kid will benefit from positive teachings and being exposed to different race, culture, way of life etc. As they get older if you see that the other kid is "picking up" her parent's negative attitudes then you can stop the socialization and because your child will be older (not sure how old she is right now) and able to understand more.

Good luck and it sucks that you are in this situation in this day and age. However, from what you have said, I don't think you saying anything to this women will change her mind. It sounds like she is one of those people who are "pasive racist" (be that on the true race side, cultural side or socio-economic side) and most likely she will just turn it into you being racist if you know what I mean.

I agree with this approach.

the parents are the racists, not the kids. if they are friends, let that evolve how it will evolve. in a few years, the other kid is going to be telling her my mom, "I want to invite 'insert your child's name here', why can't I?" Then it will all be over anyway.

[Bill Z]

I agree with this approach.

the parents are the racists, not the kids. if they are friends, let that evolve how it will evolve. in a few years, the other kid is going to be telling her my mom, "I want to invite 'insert your child's name here', why can't I?" Then it will all be over anyway.

Ditto.

And I'm sorry you have been subjected to the indignity from that racist witch, avoid contact with that mom, and do nothing to discourage contact between the children unless you see signs your daughter is hearing comments with racist undertones from her visits.

[maggiesmom]

I guess after all that this women has said to you I would just not go out of my way to socialize, invite or go to play dates, parties etc.
I wouldn't go as far as tell my child not to play with the other kid while at school, but I really wouldn't go out of my way to try and get the playdates going.
If you feel comfortable and if your child and the other kid get along nice and play well, you can keep inviting her over to your house. Main reason I say this, is that both your kid and the other kid will benefit from positive teachings and being exposed to different race, culture, way of life etc. As they get older if you see that the other kid is "picking up" her parent's negative attitudes then you can stop the socialization and because your child will be older (not sure how old she is right now) and able to understand more.

Good luck and it sucks that you are in this situation in this day and age. However, from what you have said, I don't think you saying anything to this women will change her mind. It sounds like she is one of those people who are "pasive racist" (be that on the true race side, cultural side or socio-economic side) and most likely she will just turn it into you being racist if you know what I mean.

I agree. It sucks that this happened and it seems that the mom's true colors are showing, and they are not pretty!!! I guess not encouraging the friendship with the girls may help in putting some distance between them and ultimately the whole wacky family!!! Good luck to you!

[asbestoshills]

Thanks for all of the great input from all...My husband doesn't want her to play with her at all...It's only going to set both children up for disappointment when they can't have playdates together...Her daughter will understand when she's older, but this won't be because of my family. I'm sure like the other poster said her time will come when her daughter asks why so and so can't come to her bday party...
My daughter just thinks her mom is an insensitive boob.....Of course later on she will experience other injustices, but not when she's 10. I try not to let it bother me, but it makes me so mad and how many other times will this happen...What's funny is that we live in the same area, close income, same education levels, will mine is higher than hers b/c I have a graduate degree and her husband's job is considered white collar and my husband's isn't...Oh well, life lesson learned....Just a bitter pill to swallow....
I should have known she had a screw loose when she had that dog bday party....JK dog lovers....

[Bill Z]

Thanks for all of the great input from all...My husband doesn't want her to play with her at all...It's only going to set both children up for disappointment when they can't have playdates together...Her daughter will understand when she's older, but this won't be because of my family. I'm sure like the other poster said her time will come when her daughter asks why so and so can't come to her bday party...
My daughter just thinks her mom is an insensitive boob.....Of course later on she will experience other injustices, but not when she's 10. I try not to let it bother me, but it makes me so mad and how many other times will this happen...What's funny is that we live in the same area, close income, same education levels, will mine is higher than hers b/c I have a graduate degree and her husband's job is considered white collar and my husband's isn't...Oh well, life lesson learned....Just a bitter pill to swallow....
I should have known she had a screw loose when she had that dog bday party....JK dog lovers....

Hey, I'm a dog lover and I think she has a screw loose for inviting people to her dog's B-day party.