Borders!?!? Porn!?!? Rabble Rabble Rabble!!!
I hear that walgreens and rite-aid sell lubricants and condoms -- and do you know where those things end up?!?
Raleys carries "smut" books with sexually-suggestive language -- in arm's reach of babies!
Walmart is selling Sex and the City, the Sport's Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and Cosmopolitan -- all of which could be considered soft-core pornography!
What ever happened to the "naked in the backyard" threads?
They are even teaching "sex ed" to kids in schools -- with pornographic books showing the male and female genitalia
And don't forget the naked lady picture on Sutter St.?
How many of your children have cell phones? Did you know they can get porn through WAP smut sites! Let's tear down the cell towers!!! It's our responsibility to keep this town clean and safe for the children.
I even found reproduction described in the encyclopedia.

I suggest removing all R and S volumes immediately!
Now I'm convinced that this deplorable state of morality needs to stop! I thought it was OK to have a lingerie store on Sutter Street. But now, I see how that could horribly affect impressionable people. So, I've decided to dispose of all lingerie around the house. Heck, even though my tighties are white, they don't seem so "pure" all of a sudden. In fact, they make me fell icky.
From now on, it's Commando!