190 replies to this topic

[Pool Runner]

Not suprised a Ford Explorer was involved. There was a conversation going a few weeks ago about all the bad teenage drivers in Folsom driving Explorers...

Not trying to make something funny over misfortune, but the Ford Explorer is one of the cheapest used cars you can find which makes them popular with young people. Just as an FYI and slightly off topic but the Ford Explorer specifically just like the model in the OP's article was the number one vehicle traded in last fall during "Cash for Clunkers" I think a decently running one between 1993-1997 can be had for $1500-$3K or less if you looked hard enough.

[Pool Runner]

Where do the kids live? And how did they get into Hillcrest since it's gated?

Terry the gates are just there for the look of high security. It's probably just like how you can drive into Serrano, there are cars going in & out of there every 15 seconds so they probably just followed someone in.

[Masque]

We can continue to go on and on about who is rich or not, in the right neighborhood or bad, there are kids hurt and fighting for their lives, and one who could face manslaughter if anyone dies. Not to say that they chose to be where the were. My daughter knows all of the kids involved. I will tell you that she has come to me in tears, terrified that this has happened. I think that ALL of us parents SHOULD make this a point to ALL of our children, to say,"Hey! DON'T be doing this stuff...It has hit very close to home with her. She has heard that the young girls isn't doing very well, and may not make it.
My point: Every parent on this board reading this topic, needs to sit their kids A$$'s down on the couch, floor, what have you, and put the fear of God into them with this story. This is not a joke, and they need to learn from it. Rich or poor, whether you live in Hill Crest or in the ghetto...DRINKING AND DRIVING KILLS....


I pray for that young girl, and hope that God is with her and her family, because I would not want to be her mom right now.

[GoodFellas]

We can continue to go on and on about who is rich or not, in the right neighborhood or bad, there are kids hurt and fighting for their lives, and one who could face manslaughter if anyone dies. Not to say that they chose to be where the were. My daughter knows all of the kids involved. I will tell you that she has come to me in tears, terrified that this has happened. I think that ALL of us parents SHOULD make this a point to ALL of our children, to say,"Hey! DON'T be doing this stuff...It has hit very close to home with her. She has heard that the young girls isn't doing very well, and may not make it.
My point: Every parent on this board reading this topic, needs to sit their kids A$$'s down on the couch, floor, what have you, and put the fear of God into them with this story. This is not a joke, and they need to learn from it. Rich or poor, whether you live in Hill Crest or in the ghetto...DRINKING AND DRIVING KILLS....


I pray for that young girl, and hope that God is with her and her family, because I would not want to be her mom right now.

very well said-great post

[beachbum]

Frankly, everyone in Folsom is relatively 'rich'. We don't think of ourselves as such, but we are all so much better off than most people in the world.

I don't think it happened because they were 'rich', it happened because they were teenagers and they were out past curfew, so someone was not putting limits on their behavior.

As a parent of a teenager, I try to instill good behavior and enforce curfew, etc, but sometimes we aren't going to know what our kids are doing. I just hope that my kids will someday understand why we parents put limits on them, and maybe they will even thank us for it!

[becca]

We can continue to go on and on about who is rich or not, in the right neighborhood or bad, there are kids hurt and fighting for their lives, and one who could face manslaughter if anyone dies. Not to say that they chose to be where the were. My daughter knows all of the kids involved. I will tell you that she has come to me in tears, terrified that this has happened. I think that ALL of us parents SHOULD make this a point to ALL of our children, to say,"Hey! DON'T be doing this stuff...It has hit very close to home with her. She has heard that the young girls isn't doing very well, and may not make it.
My point: Every parent on this board reading this topic, needs to sit their kids A$$'s down on the couch, floor, what have you, and put the fear of God into them with this story. This is not a joke, and they need to learn from it. Rich or poor, whether you live in Hill Crest or in the ghetto...DRINKING AND DRIVING KILLS....


I pray for that young girl, and hope that God is with her and her family, because I would not want to be her mom right now.

I just found out that my daughter also knows the girl that was in the car. Without voicing my opinion on the nature of the accident or the events leading up to it, I have a hard time understanding how adults (most of which are probably parents themselves) are 'able' to bad mouth CHILDREN that are in the hospital fighting for their lives. I think all should just be thankful that they didn't hurt anyone else or that their own children have avoided being in such a situation and leave it at that.
My thoughts and prayers are also with the parents of all 4 children....because even the child that was driving (and like I said, leaving my opinion of the accident out of this) is suffering, and we can only hope that he learns a MAJOR lesson from this and that the other 3 make a speedy and complete recovery.

[beachbum]

And believe me, we have had this talk many times, as I'm sure many of us have with our kids. And, my teen knows some of the kids involved, so it definitely hit very close to home. I do pray for the recovery for the kids. I don't wish this on anyone.

I know that as a parent, we can only say so much. I do remember, sometimes very faintly as I get older, that I thought I was invincible at that age, and did some very dumb things myself. So, sometimes all we can do is just pray that our kids are kept safe through their journey to adulthood.

[dlutz]

Not on the board lately, but this caught my eye.

In my humble opinion, this has nothing to do with class, affluence, etc. Teens drink, do drugs, and do stupid things regardless of family income. I'm glad they all survived.

Looking back at my life at 17, I did some stupid things. It sometimes amazes me I actually survived the early 80's. I've tried to learn from my early mistakes and pass on that knowledge to my kids. I can only say that I am lucky as hell that they are far more responsible than I was at their age.

This will hopefully be a lesson to these kids that they can pass on to their children in the future.

[supermom]

I hope these babies are gonna be ok.

But lemme say this: the sniping about parenting is absolutely terrible. I had terrible parenting as a young kid and never caused harm. I had awesome parenting at 17 years old-and never caused harm.

Two other posters said it right. No matter what you do-you just can't stop free will.

Ultimately the decision comes down to choices.

And comparing parenting of a toddler to a high school student seems really naive. At best, no one on this board coulda-shoulda-woulda--influenced these kids lives nor were in a place to do so when that ultimate choice of turning the ignition over-had come into play, for those four, so very precious lives.

Please respect the four familes need for support, right now. As adults, all of us can already tell- the investigation is prolly gonna be awhile, and those kids need to heal.

I don't know if I know any of the kids involved - but I hope that A) no one dies or is permanently hurt, B) any adult who was responsible for supplying the drugs and alcohol are punished as severely as ca laws can do.

Damn it.

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

I hope all of these teens fully recuperate from their injuries.

It's so easy to blame parents, but even children of parents who teach and drill about safety make stupid decisions. Then there's the issue of stupid that affects only you and stupid that puts others at risk. I hope all parents are having conversations about what is and is not safe. But the following points need to be added to the conversation:

1) IF you make a mistake, you can always come talk to me about it.

2) IF you give in to peer pressure/temptation and drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstance get behind the wheel of a car. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you get a safe ride home. We all make mistakes; I will be proud that you knew your limits and asked for help.

3) IF a friend who is driving decides to drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstances get in the car with him/her. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you're safe. Try to convince your friend to not drive and if you have the ability, take away the car keys. I'll give everyone a safe ride home. Your friend(s) might be mad at you, but that's better than being maimed or killed; hopefully they will appreciate the gesture when they sober up, but if not, you will still know you did the right thing.

[JoAnne Reinking]

I hope all of these teens fully recuperate from their injuries.

It's so easy to blame parents, but even children of parents who teach and drill about safety make stupid decisions. Then there's the issue of stupid that affects only you and stupid that puts others at risk. I hope all parents are having conversations about what is and is not safe. But the following points need to be added to the conversation:

1) IF you make a mistake, you can always come talk to me about it.

2) IF you give in to peer pressure/temptation and drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstance get behind the wheel of a car. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you get a safe ride home. We all make mistakes; I will be proud that you knew your limits and asked for help.

3) IF a friend who is driving decides to drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstances get in the car with him/her. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you're safe. Try to convince your friend to not drive and if you have the ability, take away the car keys. I'll give everyone a safe ride home. Your friend(s) might be mad at you, but that's better than being maimed or killed; hopefully they will appreciate the gesture when they sober up, but if not, you will still know you did the right thing.

Thank you Deb B~ great post. Wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. Inevitably many of youth will face these choices ,knowing it's ok to call home or another trusted adult can save lives.

[Steve Heard]

I hope all of these teens fully recuperate from their injuries.

It's so easy to blame parents, but even children of parents who teach and drill about safety make stupid decisions. Then there's the issue of stupid that affects only you and stupid that puts others at risk. I hope all parents are having conversations about what is and is not safe. But the following points need to be added to the conversation:

1) IF you make a mistake, you can always come talk to me about it.

2) IF you give in to peer pressure/temptation and drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstance get behind the wheel of a car. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you get a safe ride home. We all make mistakes; I will be proud that you knew your limits and asked for help.

3) IF a friend who is driving decides to drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstances get in the car with him/her. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you're safe. Try to convince your friend to not drive and if you have the ability, take away the car keys. I'll give everyone a safe ride home. Your friend(s) might be mad at you, but that's better than being maimed or killed; hopefully they will appreciate the gesture when they sober up, but if not, you will still know you did the right thing.

Deb, I've had similar conversations with both of my daughters, and have had to make good on my promise once or twice and was so glad I did.

I've found over the years those who feel they know the best way to raise kids are those who have yet to try it. I was one of 'em.

[tsukiji]

I hope all of these teens fully recuperate from their injuries.

It's so easy to blame parents, but even children of parents who teach and drill about safety make stupid decisions. Then there's the issue of stupid that affects only you and stupid that puts others at risk. I hope all parents are having conversations about what is and is not safe. But the following points need to be added to the conversation:

1) IF you make a mistake, you can always come talk to me about it.

2) IF you give in to peer pressure/temptation and drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstance get behind the wheel of a car. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you get a safe ride home. We all make mistakes; I will be proud that you knew your limits and asked for help.

3) IF a friend who is driving decides to drink or take drugs, do not under any circumstances get in the car with him/her. If you do and you get in an accident, you will spend that first nanosecond wishing you could take it all back, but it will be too late. Call me and I will come get you; any time of day or night, I will drop what I'm doing to make sure you're safe. Try to convince your friend to not drive and if you have the ability, take away the car keys. I'll give everyone a safe ride home. Your friend(s) might be mad at you, but that's better than being maimed or killed; hopefully they will appreciate the gesture when they sober up, but if not, you will still know you did the right thing.

You sound like a good, understanding parent. However, I think this this is too forgiving and a little naive.

This is about KIDS: 1) DRIVING and SPEEDING, 2) DRINKING, 3) DOING DRUGS. All illegally and at the same time!

This is not about telling little white lies, cheating at checkers. If I did any one of these things when I was that age, my parents wouldn't tell me to call them to come pick me up. They would have disowned me and told me never to come home again.

What about 'obeying the law" do these kids and parents not understand? Everybody can flame me for my probably minority opinion. But I have no sympathy for these kids. I'm only glad that no innocents were affected.

These kids made a choice, they deserve what they get and I just don't understand the need for leniency. If this was a good kid who swerved to miss hitting a cat and got into an accident -- one case that deserves sympathy. This is not even an honest mistake of a beginner driver who just didn't judge stopping distance correctly. This, in my mind, is not one of these cases deserving of sympathy. Don't try to convince me that these were good kids who just made a bad decision to do drugs, drink and speed. That's an oxymoron. You can't be semi-pregnant.

[doj_gal]

You sound like a good, understanding parent. However, I think this this is too forgiving and a little naive.

This is about KIDS: 1) DRIVING and SPEEDING, 2) DRINKING, 3) DOING DRUGS. All illegally and at the same time!

This is not about telling little white lies, cheating at checkers. If I did any one of these things when I was that age, my parents wouldn't tell me to call them to come pick me up. They would have disowned me and told me never to come home again.

What about 'obeying the law" do these kids and parents not understand? Everybody can flame me for my probably minority opinion. But I have no sympathy for these kids. I'm only glad that no innocents were affected.

These kids made a choice, they deserve what they get and I just don't understand the need for leniency. If this was a good kid who swerved to miss hitting a cat and got into an accident -- one case that deserves sympathy. This is not even an honest mistake of a beginner driver who just didn't judge stopping distance correctly. This, in my mind, is not one of these cases deserving of sympathy. Don't try to convince me that these were good kids who just made a bad decision to do drugs, drink and speed. That's an oxymoron. You can't be semi-pregnant.

I agree...+1000...Drugs, drinking, speeding without a liscense is a HUGE RED FLAG...not something to be swept under the rug!

[EAH]

You sound like a good, understanding parent. However, I think this this is too forgiving and a little naive.

This is about KIDS: 1) DRIVING and SPEEDING, 2) DRINKING, 3) DOING DRUGS. All illegally and at the same time!

This is not about telling little white lies, cheating at checkers. If I did any one of these things when I was that age, my parents wouldn't tell me to call them to come pick me up. They would have disowned me and told me never to come home again.

What about 'obeying the law" do these kids and parents not understand? Everybody can flame me for my probably minority opinion. But I have no sympathy for these kids. I'm only glad that no innocents were affected.

These kids made a choice, they deserve what they get and I just don't understand the need for leniency. If this was a good kid who swerved to miss hitting a cat and got into an accident -- one case that deserves sympathy. This is not even an honest mistake of a beginner driver who just didn't judge stopping distance correctly. This, in my mind, is not one of these cases deserving of sympathy. Don't try to convince me that these were good kids who just made a bad decision to do drugs, drink and speed. That's an oxymoron. You can't be semi-pregnant.

I am sorry Tsukiji, but I totally disagree with you and gotta side with Deb B on this.
Having grown up in a VERY rich area in the Bay Area (Piedmont) that was also a very small community, I had MORE than my fair share of friends who died in car/motorcycle accidents due to drinking and drugs and through overdoses. I lost a total of 7 friends who died in 3 separate accidents all in the span of 1982-84. Not counting the 2 that died from overdoses. Let me tell you, I went to more funerals in those 2 years than in the last 25 years. To assume that kids will never experiment with drugs and alchohol because you tell them not to, and it is illegal is wildly naive. You are forgetting about the peer pressure part of the equation, and you cannot underestimate peer pressure.
I liken it to refusing to teach safe sex /sex ed in schools because you preach abstinence. Sorry, it's been proven out time and time again, abstinence does not work!!!!
We have to stop being ostriches and burying our heads in the sand. Ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away doesn't work. You need to find strategies that will save lives, both your childrens and the innocent victims. The BEST thing my mother ever did was sit me down and say " if you are going to drink or do drugs I prefer that you do them under my roof - (and no she NEVER supplied or offered)- ..but if you are drinking or under the influence CALL ME AND I WILL COME PICK YOU UP! ANYWHERE......ANYTIME. She repeated this mantra often. To the point it was really annoying. I was never "dumb" enough to take her up on her offer to experiement at home. But I did party. And on 2 different occasions I actually called my mom and had her pick me up. And although the speech I got the next morning was pretty hostile both speeches ended with " I am proud of you for calling me , you did the right thing." Thank god I was never too scared to call my mom to come pick me up. If I had been I hate to think of the possibilities. Another thing that always was in the back of my mind when partying was the thought that I didn't want to get too wasted because if I came home drunk and didn't call mom to pick me up, there would be hell to pay for
driving or getting in a car with others who were drinking and driving. My mom was pretty terrifying, but even she knew that peer pressure might win out and thankfully she was smart enough to come up with a strategy to protect stupid, emotional, hormonal, defiant, belligerant, rebellious, insecure and wanting to be popular little teenage me.