40 replies to this topic

[EGP]

Well, I would like to think that we have all learned a bit during the economic crisis of the last several years about NOT overextending ourselves financially to give either our children or ourselves more than we can afford. For those of us who are paying our bills, saving for retirement and NOT going into debt and still wish to provide our children with educational and athletic opportunities I say "great" - how we parent is a very individual choice.

The important thing is keep a sense of balance for our children and within our families. A "family" should never be about putting the interests of one person above the rest.

As well, we need to instill a real sense of gratitude within our children for whatever opportunities we do give them. Whether it's T-ball or the highest level of select soccer, our children must understand and appreciate that these are privileges and not entitlements. Money is paid, adults are volunteering their time and energy to coach, support and transport.

As parents, we need to do much better at teaching our children to say "thank you" and to understand a real sense of gratitude. Our children should not just thank their parents for these opportunities, but their teachers at the end of each school day, their coach at the end of each practice and game, and their instructors at the end of each lesson. If our children don't end up with a deep and true sense of gratitude and the ability to deliver a sincere "thank you" then whatever opportunities we have given them was for not.

[Dartmore]

What's up with parents these days? They can't pay their bills, save for retirement or take a minute for themselves, but they can buy their kid smartphones, computers, shuffle them to and fro every weekend to soccer (insert sport here) tournaments for the remote chance of a scholarship/professional career and plan the most elaborate bday parties at hotels and buy their kids new cars. When did children become celebrities in their own homes? This is a phenomenon that is apparent in this generation.

Very much agree, many of our kids are nursed from birth to college. We see it all the time, kids thinking they're entitled to everything and IMO they've been so coddled, many have no idea what it means to work and save for something. Kids get tropheys for simply participating - "if everyone is special than no one is special".

Parents surround their kids with products, pump them with activities and a false sense of pride. Kids really don't need that - they need feel a part-of, to be loved and see some rational structure that we used to call discipline. My working theory is these parents are simply selfishness - thinking they are somehow entitiled to more than a fair share - but they're concentious of being seen as selfish, so they demonstrate it through the kids. How many times do you hear "it's for the children", when in fact the kids don't want or need 'it'. They simply need love and structure.

[the_professor]

I'm Ok with giving kids Ipad and Ipods if they show the responsibility needed to care for it/ respect it, etc.

I think that providing these types of things is an educational curve. In Technology. High fashion teaches children how to hold their own in a forum they expect to be in, as they are adults. Fast cars are an expression of that expectation or just a really irresponsible and stupid parental choice.The kids that get a football for xmas; will be the ones' that get on the team and become your local celebrated jock (with discipline, hard work and talent). The kid that gets the computer for xmas becomes the ceo of a startup company and has hundreds of employees under him before he is 30( again, with discipline, hard work, talent)

What I have a problem with is the kids that just get, get get, and show no natural talent, no interest in self-improvement, and manage somehow to become failures later on (or spectacular pyramid schemers).

I'm ok with mediocrity if mediocrity is what you want. I'm ok with hard labor in a back breaking future, if that is what you love to do.

To each his own and many families have it hardwired in their DNA what they do well in. Lead, invent, fix, destroy, etc.

Anyway, I do expect my children to do chores. I expect them to care for their own laundry. But do I spoil them with little stuff? Sure. When I can. Do I put them in sports? Yes when I can. It puts them in a healthy environment where they make contact with peers their own age, learn lifelong lessons in proper behavior, learn how to problem solve, socialize, etc. And if my child was talented enough to go to comp ball I would put them in it. Scholarships are not as easy to get as you would think.

Professor please stop knocking the kids in this town. it is so old.

As usual I have no idea what you are talking about.

[asbestoshills]

True Professor. She rarely makes sense to me either.

[chris v]

My 13 year old has an iphone 4, that he paid for himself and pays for the plan himself. He works his a$$ off for it. That alone shows extreme maturity and responsibility. He does not get an allowance but has daily chores around the house. Usually doing the dishes and other things as needed like helping with his 3 year old sister. When he wants to earn money he always knows that there is extra stuff he can do around the house when his chores are done. He, on his own, decided to use our recycle bin to collect cans and bottles with and when it gets full he bags them up and takes them to the recycle center. He buys his own bags. He truly understands the meaning of a dollar and what it takes to earn it. He gets straight A's in school. I can honestly say I am extremely proud of him. He is truly a great young man.

[Carl G]

...
He is truly a great young man.

He gets that from his mom's side, right?

[cw68]

My 13 year old has an iphone 4, that he paid for himself and pays for the plan himself. He works his a$$ off for it. That alone shows extreme maturity and responsibility. He does not get an allowance but has daily chores around the house. Usually doing the dishes and other things as needed like helping with his 3 year old sister. When he wants to earn money he always knows that there is extra stuff he can do around the house when his chores are done. He, on his own, decided to use our recycle bin to collect cans and bottles with and when it gets full he bags them up and takes them to the recycle center. He buys his own bags. He truly understands the meaning of a dollar and what it takes to earn it. He gets straight A's in school. I can honestly say I am extremely proud of him. He is truly a great young man.

He is and this is awesome.

[4thgenFolsomite]

here is a story about a family being evicted for the excessive noise their little girl makes. the photo in the story says it all.

http://realestate.ao...toddlers-noise/

[Chad Vander Veen]

here is a story about a family being evicted for the excessive noise their little girl makes. the photo in the story says it all.

http://realestate.aol.com/blog/2012/01/31/family-faces-eviction-over-toddlers-noise/

The story neglects to mention any sort of measures the parents have taken to quiet the kid. And judging by the child jumping on the couch, that is because there weren't any taken.

[chris v]

He gets that from his mom's side, right?

Not a chance... I'll be honest, I did a lot of really rotten stuff when I was younger. And all that has helped me be a better parent.

He is and this is awesome.

Such a good kid. I learned today that there were some kids picking on a special ed kid at his school, and he stood up for that kid. I just can't put into words how that makes me feel.

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

Such a good kid. I learned today that there were some kids picking on a special ed kid at his school, and he stood up for that kid. I just can't put into words how that makes me feel.

You have a lot to be proud of.