133 replies to this topic

[normajean]

Redone, I agree that the other set of parents also should ashamed. However, we can wish and most definitely hope that bullying will stop, but we must be realistic in assuming it won't. We can't control the behaviors of others, as much as we'd like to! So all we can do is give our kids the tools to deal with the horrible, nasty behaviors of other's that they encounter. While we're wishing and hoping that other kids/people will act responsibly, we must help our own children, and in some cases ourselves!, to deal with what goes on around them, in a healthy manner.

The whole thing is very sad, for both families. On the bright side, it has given me an opportunity to step it up a notch and work with my own kids and problem solving skills.

[realtor]

Out of the 2 parents, it's the parent of the bully who should be most ashamed.

I've always told my kids to take a long, hard look at the family members of their potential mate. Can you imagine Thanksgiving dinner at their house??? Geezzz...what is that mother teaching her kid? It's that mentality of making a kid tough that's scares me and certainly confirms that that sort of behavior is learned at your momma's knee.

[LexHillsmom]

Also I read the mother of the bully what quoted as saying something about whether or not it is true her son was instigator, his behavior was "beside the point"! Uhh, I like the way she immediately is ready to dismiss her son's obnoxious behavior and point fingers...I smell a lawsuit...........sue..sue..sue...

[Redone]

The boys/mothers and some school staff are claiming there had been some bullying going on, according to this morning's Bee story. Ok, how does that justify fighting? Children fighting? Children encouraged to fight by an ADULT? What is that??

Our roles/responsibilites as parents are to teach our children to become successful, healthy, productive adults who make good decisions in life. That mother should be teaching her son to speak with the other boys (and of course that probably wouldn't have worked), discuss the issue with staff and administrators, even law enforcement if it were that bad. She should be giving him the skills to identify a problem, come up with some possible solutions and tackle the problem by going down the list of solutions. She should teach that child how to be proactive and make some good decisions. Unfortunately it looks like SHE never learned those skills herself.

I feel sorry for that boy, both boys of course, but for that kid who has been taught some very wrong things.

So , are you saying that there is NEVER a time in high school where one might have to defend themselves? Obviously a premeditated afterschool fight is wrong, however this fight could've easily happened at the time of the (bullying) crime if the student was threatened.

[normajean]

Is this a trick question

I believe there are numerous times when one must defend oneself. However, I believe there are ways to defend oneself that do not involve fighting. I am not talking about extreme situations, rape, murder, kidnapping, etc. I am speaking about children dealing with children. And as horrible an offense as bullying is, I do not believe that fighting back physically is right. Fighting, in my book, is wrong. End of story.

At school the rules are no student is permitted to put his/her hands, feet, etc on another student. So to encourage or support a child to "fight back", defend oneself physically, not only teaches the message that "when someone hurts me, I can hurt them", it also teaches that rules at school, whether you like the rules or not, are ok to be broken.

So, yes there are times when children will need to defend themselves, but NOT physically. I am a lover, not a fighter....uh-oh, I think I just dated myself there!

[tessieca]

You're all jumping to the conclusion that this one child should be labeled a "bully." If you read the article, the kid was called "emotional." What's the big deal? Maybe the emphasis on making sure nobody's feelings are EVER hurt and that nobody EVER says ANYTHING that might be the tiniest bit construed as offensive makes kids into pansies who can't handle words. Yes, I called some kids pansies -- are they now allowed to come and beat me up?

Remember the old "Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me?" That's how we were raised. In this day and age you get suspended for calling something "gay" and now it looks like people want to outlaw any adjective. Parents shouldn't be ashamed as you all say because their child called someone a name. They should use it as a teaching moment and an opportunity to correct behavior. It's what parents do. The parent who encouraged violence is the one who crossed the line.

[Solartide]

Are parents getting stupider these days or is there simply more coverage?

Didn't your movie cover this?

[gossipisevil]

After reading the posts here and the comments on Sacbee.com, I feel compelled to past here. I know this family fairly well and can say that she is not crazy or a bad mother. She is not trailer trash (from sacbee) and is a very good mother. It is disturbing how people love to tear someone down to the core before all the facts are in. Every one of you have made mistakes and probably broken a law or two. Every parent has made mistakes that could call our parenting into question if it was caught on tape. Stop the rampant speculation and guessing games, show some compassion and remember this is a family we are talking about.

Pure speculation:
“It's that mentality of making a kid tough that's scares me and certainly confirms that that sort of behavior is learned at your momma's knee.”
“If this kid didn't want to fight and was forced to by mom it makes this story even sadder.”

Judging:
“I personally think she doesn't deserve to have kids”
“What a dirtbag”

Schadenfreude:
“My vote is for stupider! This woman got her 15 minutes of fame, I wonder how she likes it. That is not a pretty mug shot.”
“Love the deer-in-the-headlights mugshot. Will make a lovely Xmas card”
“I wonder how embarrassed she is and will be. 15 minutes of very bad fame!”





“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."
-- Wayne Dyer
What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. ~Jewish Proverb

Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. ~Spanish Proverb

There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly becomes any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
~Edward Wallis Hoch

[folsombound]

I'm not feeling that sorry. Yes I have done stupid things, but never anything that publicly stupid. This incident turned out to be an embarrassment to Folsom, California and the US. I don't know if it got further than Canada but I can imagine people in other countries going "see that's what those Americans are like".

[gossipisevil]

Is there so little to going on in your life that you care what someone in another county thinks of Americans because of one news story?

[folsombound]

Yeah, I kind of think that every "Ugly American" makes the rest of us look bad. I travel occasionally and would rather not have to explain stupid incidents like this.

[normajean]

Everyone does make mistakes. Sometimes even with the most important gifts in life. But, this one goes above and beyond a MISTAKE. Sorry, this was just plain dumb!

"a very good mother" ??????????? you have got to be kidding

[Chad Vander Veen]

Dear God I hope we can afford private schooling when we have kids - seems public schools foster more retardation than education.

[LexHillsmom]

.Every parent has made mistakes that could call our parenting into question if it was caught on tape. Stop the rampant speculation and guessing games, show some compassion and remember this is a family we are talking about.

Well said. Please accept my apology for any speculation on my part that may have added pain to any of the people involved. Having one's family members and character speculated about by strangers who are operating with limited facts is humiliating and overwhelmingly painful.

[gossipisevil]

Everyone does make mistakes. Sometimes even with the most important gifts in life. But, this one goes above and beyond a MISTAKE. Sorry, this was just plain dumb!

"a very good mother" ??????????? you have got to be kidding

I have seen her interact with her children hundreds of times. I think she is a great mother who got into a bad situation that snowballed out of control. You don't know the people, you have never seen the video, you have never spoken to anyone involved, you don’t know any of the facts about what lead up to this. Maybe you should reserve judgment and wait for the facts to come out.

How many times in life do we do something that serves as a wakeup call? We learn from it, realize what is important in life and become a better person. Thank god all of my mistakes are not played out in the media. Time and time again, when I read an article on a subject I know about, I am amazed by the generalizations, exaggeration and oversimplification of the story.