89 replies to this topic

[bordercolliefan]

I'm willing to bet:

1. James1 doesn't have any kids.
2. James1 has never been asked to spend 18 hours a day, 7 days a week entertaining a toddler. [Hopefully James1 is not one of those Neanderthal men who think this is WOMEN'S WORK... so maybe he'll get the chance someday.]
3. James1 has never seen the delight and growth a preschooler experiences as a result of the cool teachers, fun activities, and stimulating social scene of preschool.

[james1]

sure, read it, doesn't make it actually STUPID things parents do.... especially if she is saying not to send your kid to preschool for a few hours a week... what a joke.


Preschool is awesome for most kids. We waited until our son was almost 4 before preschool.... I wish we would have done it sooner!! He learned socialization skills the park and bounceopolis can not offer!

We did not notice how accustom he was to GROWN-UPS ONLY until he went to a "trial day" at the prescool, and when he saw the kids....

He said "mommy, what are they doing?"

Which surprised me, he did not know what they were doing... I said "awww, baby, they are playing"

he turned around, looked at me, and said very seriously, "that is ridiculous"

I knew right then and there I should have put him in preschool EARLIER!

I was a SAHM and we did go to the park, we did go out to the mall and play on the kids toys... it is NOT the same as Preschool!

John, I think its innappropriate for "neighboorhood leaders" to name call. It amazes me that I want to do whats best for my child and get called names!Im am officailly done with this site. Its a waste of time.

[bordercolliefan]

John, I think its innappropriate for "neighboorhood leaders" to name call. It amazes me that I want to do whats best for my child and get called names!Im am officailly done with this site. Its a waste of time.

Um.... didn't this whole discussion start when you claimed that parents who enroll their kids in preschool are lazy, selfish, horrible parents willing to sacrifice their children for a few free hours???

[mylo]

John, I think its innappropriate for "neighboorhood leaders" to name call. It amazes me that I want to do whats best for my child and get called names!Im am officailly done with this site. Its a waste of time.

What name calling? If you see name calling in any thread, please simply hit the "! Report" button on the left side and a moderator can investigate. My understanding is that Andrea is using the word "STUPID" from the title of the book, and what parents may do, not calling you personally stupid.

[chris v]

John, I think its innappropriate for "neighboorhood leaders" to name call. It amazes me that I want to do whats best for my child and get called names!Im am officailly done with this site. Its a waste of time.

You really should be taking care of your child anyways.


Sounds like whining to me... BFQ

[Bill Z]

What name calling? If you see name calling in any thread, please simply hit the "! Report" button on the left side and a moderator can investigate. My understanding is that Andrea is using the word "STUPID" from the title of the book, and what parents may do, not calling you personally stupid.

I agree, I've read her post a couple of times and couldn't find any name calling.

And even though on some topics, I've been known to agree with them, I have been called some pretty bad names on hear like "Liberal", but I never felt like I should quit because of it.

[bunny]

Thats a very nice thing to say. And working there put me thru college

Just about as nice as saying that someones proactive approach to improving their children is a "sickening" act.

Nothing in particular against people who work in restaurants, but in general they usually dont go on to turn out sophisticated educational studies in their spare time.

Reading a biased book from a biased author which contains virtually no reasonable burden of proofs on the matter isnt much of a "study".

This was actually a pretty nice thread where people were sharing how they spent their time with their children and activities to keep them engaged and learning until you showed up with your "you sicken me" line, so I would frankly not feel badly about anyone calling you a name, and if I were you, I wouldnt complain too much about it. If you're going to incorrectly call out people for being bad parents to their children, expect a little crap to head back atcha.

[Nancy]

I can virtually guarantee you that the reason that you and your wife are able to successfully and happily keep your child out of preschool or daycare and be exclusively around you, taking your child to parks, little gym, etc. for interaction with other children is BECAUSE you both work outside the home. Yes, that's a sacrifice of sorts, but there is absolutely no comparison to being with a child 24/7/365 for years on end. Not having a break, even if it's for needed income is enough to drive even the most patient, loving parent batsh*t crazy.

I've got two kids. My oldest is 6 and my youngest is 5. He will be going to kindergarten in the fall and I can tell you right now that he's not ready. We weren't able to afford preschool for him at all. I saw with my own eyes how difficult modern kindergarten is when my daughter went. It's gotten absolutely ridiculous and is something I've written and ranted about on myfolsom before. My daughter had about six months of two day a week preschool and she really had a hard time in K, and continues to struggle in some areas in first grade. Kindergarten just isn't kindergarten anymore. K is the new first grade. That was exactly what my daughter's K teachers told me.

I know you say that you were more talking about daycare, but I really want you to think about this because I don't want to see you get blindsided in a couple of years when your child starts K. Make sure you put your child in preschool. Two days a week would be absolute minimum. Three days a week is probably a better idea. If not, you are putting your child, who has never been in a school environment and putting him straight into first grade. And that's the truth. It really has gotten that bad.

I understand wanting to do what is best for your child, but by keeping your child by your side until the day they are in K is a bad idea. I saw my daughter's self esteem plummet. She went from being so proud of what she could do in the weeks before K started, to seeing how much everyone else could do that she couldn't do or couldn't understand. I believe that if I had put the type of importance on preschool that others on this board have suggested you and your wife consider, she would have done great. It's not that she wasn't capable of the knowledge and behavior that she needed, she just wasn't exposed to it long enough or often enough for it to make a difference. But I was of the belief, based on my own childhood and the older kids of friends, that kindergarten was just kindergarten. No big deal and lots of fun and games disguised as learning. Boy was I wrong.

God help me when my son starts K. I have no idea what's going to happen then. It's going to be ugly though.

As for advice to the original poster, I have no idea. I've got a 5yo still at home and I'm out of ideas. He needs more than me or the park, but there's nothing I can do about that right now.

I do take him to KidsPark every once in a while. We can only afford once or twice a month for a few hours, but it's better than nothing. They do preschool weekday mornings, so that's very good for us. The rest of the time is unstructured play. It's hourly and drop-in, so you can just take your child for even an hour so you can just take a deep breath. The teachers there are awesome. We love them. It's different kids every time of course, so he's not able to develop friendships like he would in preschool, but he's pretty friendly, so that's not too much of a problem for us.

Just know that when you're ready to pull your hair out trying to think of one more blessed thing that's going to keep your child occupied for five minutes, or you take a lot of time setting something "fun" up only to have your child have no interest whatsoever, that there's at least one other mom in town doing the same thing.

[bordercolliefan]

Nancy, thanks for that honest, insightful account.

You seem like a very thoughtful, analytical parent, so I have no doubt your kids are going to turn out great.

I do wish we had more options for middle-class (not poverty-stricken) parents who can't afford fancy preschools. It's the old "the middle class falls through the cracks" thing again.

Also, I think you might be right that kindergarten has gotten a little out of control. Yes, we want to be internationally competitive -- but sometimes it seems like most of the pressure has been pushed down to the very youngest kids.

[booboo]

I can virtually guarantee you that the reason that you and your wife are able to successfully and happily keep your child out of preschool or daycare and be exclusively around you, taking your child to parks, little gym, etc. for interaction with other children is BECAUSE you both work outside the home. Yes, that's a sacrifice of sorts, but there is absolutely no comparison to being with a child 24/7/365 for years on end. Not having a break, even if it's for needed income is enough to drive even the most patient, loving parent batsh*t crazy.

I've got two kids. My oldest is 6 and my youngest is 5. He will be going to kindergarten in the fall and I can tell you right now that he's not ready. We weren't able to afford preschool for him at all. I saw with my own eyes how difficult modern kindergarten is when my daughter went. It's gotten absolutely ridiculous and is something I've written and ranted about on myfolsom before. My daughter had about six months of two day a week preschool and she really had a hard time in K, and continues to struggle in some areas in first grade. Kindergarten just isn't kindergarten anymore. K is the new first grade. That was exactly what my daughter's K teachers told me.

I know you say that you were more talking about daycare, but I really want you to think about this because I don't want to see you get blindsided in a couple of years when your child starts K. Make sure you put your child in preschool. Two days a week would be absolute minimum. Three days a week is probably a better idea. If not, you are putting your child, who has never been in a school environment and putting him straight into first grade. And that's the truth. It really has gotten that bad.

I understand wanting to do what is best for your child, but by keeping your child by your side until the day they are in K is a bad idea. I saw my daughter's self esteem plummet. She went from being so proud of what she could do in the weeks before K started, to seeing how much everyone else could do that she couldn't do or couldn't understand. I believe that if I had put the type of importance on preschool that others on this board have suggested you and your wife consider, she would have done great. It's not that she wasn't capable of the knowledge and behavior that she needed, she just wasn't exposed to it long enough or often enough for it to make a difference. But I was of the belief, based on my own childhood and the older kids of friends, that kindergarten was just kindergarten. No big deal and lots of fun and games disguised as learning. Boy was I wrong.

God help me when my son starts K. I have no idea what's going to happen then. It's going to be ugly though.

As for advice to the original poster, I have no idea. I've got a 5yo still at home and I'm out of ideas. He needs more than me or the park, but there's nothing I can do about that right now.

I do take him to KidsPark every once in a while. We can only afford once or twice a month for a few hours, but it's better than nothing. They do preschool weekday mornings, so that's very good for us. The rest of the time is unstructured play. It's hourly and drop-in, so you can just take your child for even an hour so you can just take a deep breath. The teachers there are awesome. We love them. It's different kids every time of course, so he's not able to develop friendships like he would in preschool, but he's pretty friendly, so that's not too much of a problem for us.

Just know that when you're ready to pull your hair out trying to think of one more blessed thing that's going to keep your child occupied for five minutes, or you take a lot of time setting something "fun" up only to have your child have no interest whatsoever, that there's at least one other mom in town doing the same thing.

I agree with this whole post.

Now that I'm a mother of a 2 year old it's awakened memories of my childhood which now influence my parenting. On the subject of preschool, I clearly recall my preschool experience. The long yellow rectangular buildings in rows with those old fashioned push out windows, the walls covered with all kinds of exciting colors, numbers and drawings of other children who used the room during the "real school year" who I was quietly envious of. I LOVED my preschool teacher and her cool hair she'd wear in a huge bun on top of her head. She was nice, fun and I remember wishing she was a sister or something so I'd see her all the time. I loved being out of the house away from the regular routine and LEARNING things. I recall learning didn't go beyond crafts and songs but it felt like a new world was opening up to me. Although my Mom played with me, took me to parks and on all her errands, I remember loving the few hours I had in preschool and the experience of being around other kids.

[pet lover]

Great fine motor skill development!

Another activity you could try, if you haven't, is beading. The kids section at Micheal's has larger plastic beads, there are foam beads or cheerios. This usually occupies them awhile and keeps them focused and quiet.

[pet lover]

+1

I couldnt disagree more with your disagreement. Spending a few hours a day, a few days a week in an environment where the child is involved with taking direction from an authority figure other than their parents, interacts with the same group of children to help develop relationship/social skills and...oh...the actual learning...is enormously beneficial.

Its also very helpful in getting them acclimated to a school environment before they find themselves spending 5 days a week at kindergarten.

This has been enormously beneficial to my son, who was 3.5 when he started. Couldnt recommend it more. We're sending him back again next year for 3 or 4 days a week of preschool.

[pet lover]

Dude! This post started out as a parent asking for suggestions to keep his/her preschooler occupied with the bad weather. No one here is just "shipping their kid off" because they don't want to spend time with them. I have had students without socialization before Kindergarten and they really lack social skills in playing along side other kids. Also, consider the parents who now may both have to work full time and how they may already feel guilty that they have to shuffle their kiddos to daycare. You're allowed to your opinion but shaming other parents for their choice of providing an enriching preschool environment to their children shouldn't be tolerated by use readers!

I do respect your opinions. And I have mine as well. Im sorry but it does sicken me when parents rather drop kids of with "strangers" than spend time with them. And there are endless studies that show pre-school/daycare are not benefical for the child. Please do research- I have done mine...

[pet lover]

After reading up to this point in this thread, you're the first person to call people names or criticize their parenting! Good Luck...maybe you can join Chip Shot on News10. He has worked up a group that already hate him there!

John, I think its innappropriate for "neighboorhood leaders" to name call. It amazes me that I want to do whats best for my child and get called names!Im am officailly done with this site. Its a waste of time.

[pet lover]

I do wish we had more options for middle-class (not poverty-stricken) parents who can't afford fancy preschools. It's the old "the middle class falls through the cracks" thing again.

Also, I think you might be right that kindergarten has gotten a little out of control. Yes, we want to be internationally competitive -- but sometimes it seems like most of the pressure has been pushed down to the very youngest kids.

So true on both points!