62 replies to this topic

[Steve Heard]

What's your excuse?

http://www.maxpreps.com/news/pOYixl-8qkSJB9LdX-8YIw/beyond-the-x--ponderosa-highs-zach-pickett-is-more-than-americas-only-paraplegic-high-school-water-polo-player-.htm

 

Does anyone feel less "shamed" if it is presented by someone who isn't threatening to your fragile self image? 

 

What's your excuse?

http://www.maxpreps.com/news/pOYixl-8qkSJB9LdX-8YIw/beyond-the-x--ponderosa-highs-zach-pickett-is-more-than-americas-only-paraplegic-high-school-water-polo-player-.htm

 

Does anyone feel less "shamed" if it is presented by someone who isn't threatening to your fragile self image? 

Totally different. 

[awood]

 

Totally different. 

I am sincerely interested in how you think they are differant?

If the young man in the story said the same message, how would it be differant?  In either case, both have dealt with conditions that many people would wilt under.  In either case, they have chosen to go above and beyond what "typical" people would to do achieve the extraordinary.  I am humbled and inspired by the efforts of both and feel no jealousy.

I will say that IMHO the majority of the differance is in the audience and messanger.  Others may disagree, but the women that I have asked about the original post have best described it as "a woman thing".  It broadcasts in to the deeper issue of the current definition of bullying vs. hypersensitivity.  In one case those viewing the original post feel as if they are being picked on and another group feels that they are being inspired.

[Steve Heard]

What you posted was an inspirational article about a young man who has accepted who he is but is not going to wallow in sorrow, but will instead make the best of what he has.

 

What Ms. Kang did was post a picture of herself with he kids and asks, 'what's your excuse?' 

 

No context, no article, just the implication that if you don't look like that, you're making excuses. 

 

I am all for inspiring and influencing others. I've spent a lot of time attending events and reading about and meeting inspirational people.

 

What if Nick Vujicic said to you, "I run a multi-million dollar company, a charitable foundation, and do 200 speaking engagements a year, and YOU DON'T!" He actually did say that when I went to hear him speak. The difference between his approach and Ms. Kang's is that before he spoke we were treated to a video of his daily life. The life of a man born with no arms or legs. That put it in perspective. 

 

I went to see Billy McLaughlin. If he came out and demonstrated his mastery of the guitar and his unique, seemingly impossible fingers-style of playing, then asked, 'what's your excuse?', you wouldn't have the perspective of knowing that he used to play professionally in the traditional way, until he got a neurological disorder which rendered one of his hands almost useless, and he had to learn to play using left hand and adopted a crazy beautiful way of playing.   

 

What about Liz Murray? If she just came out and bragged on her Harvard Phd, it might be impressive, but it is more so when she tells the story of how she was born to drug-addicted parents, dropped out of school at about 13, then, virtually homeless, decided to go back to school, slept and studied on subway trains, and eventually got a scholarship to Harvard. 

 

All of these people left me feeling inspired and like I wasn't doing enough, not living up to my potential. They made me want to be better.

 

I've studied these folks and more like them. They have every right to ask what my excuse is for not doing my job, for not taking the utmost car of myself, for not doing my best. 

 

It's all about perspective.  

 

I have no dog in this fight, and was not personally offended. She's a cute girl, and I happen to like cute girls, but I can understand how many women would be offended at the thought that if they didn't look like Ms. Kang, it was because of their lack of effort to do so. 

[cw68]

can understand how many women would be offended at the thought that if they didn't look like Ms. Kang, it was because of their lack of effort to do so. 

Umm, I don't look like that and it's because of a lack of effort to do so. If I'm offended by somebody else having different priorities than me that is MY problem, not hers. I'm getting really tired of people not taking personal responsibility for themselves.

[awood]

What you posted was an inspirational article about a young man who has accepted who he is but is not going to wallow in sorrow, but will instead make the best of what he has.

 

What Ms. Kang did was post a picture of herself with he kids and asks, 'what's your excuse?' 

 

No context, no article, just the implication that if you don't look like that, you're making excuses. 

 

I am all for inspiring and influencing others. I've spent a lot of time attending events and reading about and meeting inspirational people.

 

What if Nick Vujicic said to you, "I run a multi-million dollar company, a charitable foundation, and do 200 speaking engagements a year, and YOU DON'T!" He actually did say that when I went to hear him speak. The difference between his approach and Ms. Kang's is that before he spoke we were treated to a video of his daily life. The life of a man born with no arms or legs. That put it in perspective. 

 

I went to see Billy McLaughlin. If he came out and demonstrated his mastery of the guitar and his unique, seemingly impossible fingers-style of playing, then asked, 'what's your excuse?', you wouldn't have the perspective of knowing that he used to play professionally in the traditional way, until he got a neurological disorder which rendered one of his hands almost useless, and he had to learn to play using left hand and adopted a crazy beautiful way of playing.   

 

What about Liz Murray? If she just came out and bragged on her Harvard Phd, it might be impressive, but it is more so when she tells the story of how she was born to drug-addicted parents, dropped out of school at about 13, then, virtually homeless, decided to go back to school, slept and studied on subway trains, and eventually got a scholarship to Harvard. 

 

All of these people left me feeling inspired and like I wasn't doing enough, not living up to my potential. They made me want to be better.

 

I've studied these folks and more like them. They have every right to ask what my excuse is for not doing my job, for not taking the utmost car of myself, for not doing my best. 

 

It's all about perspective.  

 

I have no dog in this fight, and was not personally offended. She's a cute girl, and I happen to like cute girls, but I can understand how many women would be offended at the thought that if they didn't look like Ms. Kang, it was because of their lack of effort to do so. 

Thank You for the explination.  The idea that your understanding of the circumstances that led to each persons story makes sense to me.  In Mrs. Kang's case, I thought the 3 young kids were enough to communicate the message.  I know I am "old school" and certainly struggle with female sensativities on numerous occasions.  It's not my intent to shame anyone, but I struggle sometimes to understand why others are offended.  I would most likely tend to echo cw68's response but want to be sure I am not missing something...heck I have been wrong before

[Steve Heard]

Thank You for the explination.  The idea that your understanding of the circumstances that led to each persons story makes sense to me.  In Mrs. Kang's case, I thought the 3 young kids were enough to communicate the message.  I know I am "old school" and certainly struggle with female sensativities on numerous occasions.  It's not my intent to shame anyone, but I struggle sometimes to understand why others are offended.  I would most likely tend to echo cw68's response but want to be sure I am not missing something...heck I have been wrong before

 

Thanks. I don't mean to get on a soap box about it, and my wife and daughters weren't offended by it, but I just wondered if others saw it the same way I did.

 

It's seems like it's running 50/50. 

 

BTW, I've been wrong a time or two, or so I'm told...daily. 

[mrdavex]

I see it all as just advertising in general, but is slightly deceptive.  Any advertising for health food, weight loss products, diet pills, fitness machine infomercials, health clubs, Special K, Subway, Richard Simmons, etc. all use some image of a highly-toned body just like Ms. Kang's.  They all want to give the lazy consumer the crazy idea that if buy their product, you could look like that.  The only thing her ad is missing that all other  ads have is a little thingy in fine print at the bottom that says "Results not Typical." 

 

Like CW has said, no one is born with a body like that and it is really up to you to acquire figure like that.  To look like that is a full-time committment requiring hours of exercise each day and scrutinizing every little crumb you eat.  Personally, I don't want that obsessive compulsive "orthorexic" lifestyle; that is my choice and I accept the fact that I will not have abs of steel.  Most of my other 5000+ sedentary co-workers seem to have made the same choice as I did   

 

But since Ms Kang works full-time in the fitness inductry, she had better look the way she does.  I wouldn't want to hire a slothful looking personal trainer. 

[cw68]

I would most likely tend to echo cw68's response but want to be sure I am not missing something...heck I have been wrong before

Me too! And I often don't reflect the average female's perspective. I'm very much a tomboy and generally like to hang out with the guys than girls. So, take it with a grain of salt.

[Steve Heard]

I see it all as just advertising in general, but is slightly deceptive.  Any advertising for health food, weight loss products, diet pills, fitness machine infomercials, health clubs, Special K, Subway, Richard Simmons, etc. all use some image of a highly-toned body just like Ms. Kang's.  They all want to give the lazy consumer the crazy idea that if buy their product, you could look like that.  The only thing her ad is missing that all other  ads have is a little thingy in fine print at the bottom that says "Results not Typical." 

 

 

The advertisements for those other products you describe, however, come with a before and after pic, or a 'you can do it too', some sort of pitch or explanation, not shot a hot chick asking 'what's your excuse?'

 

Not everyone can or wants to look like her. 

 

Interestingly enough, on her website is an article in which she wrote, "It is often said that “Comparison is the thief of Joy”.  It robs people from seeing their own value and personal progress. It’s a natural part of who we are – obviously. We don’t know we are short unless someone is taller than us. We don’t know we are poor, until someone is richer than us.  The other day, I didn’t realize how ‘unfit’ I seemingly was, until I viewed all these online images of extremely fit women."

 

Sad that she sees herself as unfit. 

[nomad]

 

The advertisements for those other products you describe, however, come with a before and after pic, or a 'you can do it too', some sort of pitch or explanation, not shot a hot chick asking 'what's your excuse?'

 

Not everyone can or wants to look like her. 

 

Interestingly enough, on her website is an article in which she wrote, "It is often said that “Comparison is the thief of Joy”.  It robs people from seeing their own value and personal progress. It’s a natural part of who we are – obviously. We don’t know we are short unless someone is taller than us. We don’t know we are poor, until someone is richer than us.  The other day, I didn’t realize how ‘unfit’ I seemingly was, until I viewed all these online images of extremely fit women."

 

Sad that she sees herself as unfit. 

You just can't get past putting this woman down can you?

[Steve Heard]

You just can't get past putting this woman down can you?

I'm sorry if it appears that way. I'm just pointing out how I see the other side of it.  

 

I'm not putting her down. I'm quoting her. I feel badly for her that she feels unfit because of the images she sees on TV. 

 

If only she'd seen this...

 

http://www.upworthy....-seconds?c=ufb1

[Steve Heard]

It sounds like it's time for me to let go of this one. Maybe past time. I do that every now and now. 

[Steve Heard]

I just got invited to an event where she'll be speaking.

 

Here's the bio:

 

"Maria Kang is a mother of 3 boys born in 2009, 2010 and 2011. She graduated with two Bachelor of Arts from the University of California at Davis and now owns two residential care homes for the elderly. In 2007, she founded a 501 ©(3) nonprofit for kids called Fitness without Borders. In 2009 she began a free Mom-Me Fit Club, where moms workout and enjoy playtime with their children in the park. In 2012 she won a Mayor’s Volunteer award for organizing the Mom-Me Fit Club and making a positive contribution to her community of Elk Grove, CA."

 

Adding that to her picture sure would give it some perspective. 

 

I'm going to try to make it to see her.  

 

 

[TruthSeeker]

Kang’s character, parenting and appearance were attacked by fellow women. Once word spread, the self-righteous sensitivity police labeled Kang the dreaded title of “bully” because she was “fat shaming” women, particularly fellow mothers.
 

“Like we aren’t shamed enough by advertisers setting impossible standards. My “excuses” are none of your business. You should take this down,” wrote one woman.
 

“You’re (sic) children need a mother more then you need washboard abs,” wrote one commenter. “You should be ashamed of yourself, fat-nazi,” another wrote. “I’m sick of all this fat-shaming. Real men love curves.”
 

The backlash was so intensive, she had to release a FAQ on her site to explain her life story. The presumption of her critics is shocking. Maria owes the world an explanation for her fitness.
 

So, What’s My Excuse?, Maria Kang?” wrote one blogger. “I am a real woman, that’s my excuse. With that said, I beg to ask you Maria, the same question. If my excuse is that I’m a REAL woman, then What’s Your Excuse?”
 

Selecting healthier fare over tasty, unhealthy options requires daily motivation, self-control and dedication (all generally positive attributes).
 

For various reasons, many choose what is easy, not what is healthy. Walk into a convenience store or drive through most fast food chains and try to find options that aren’t full of fat, carbs and sodium. Apples are scarce, Cheetos are not.
 

Often otherwise healthy people (with no medical condition preventing their fitness) excuse their unhealthy choices with an array of colorful justifications. “We’re too tired to exercise, too poor to buy whole foods, and the kids have homework. Who has time to cook healthy meals after soccer practice and working a full day? Pizza Hut is right there.”
 

This habit of justifying unhealthy behavior with excuses is what Kang addressed. With two-thirds of U.S. adults overweight or obese and millions suffering from eating disorders, she should be encouraged for promoting health ownership.
 

Critics weren’t really reacting to her message, though. Perhaps the question, “what is my excuse” produced answers they did not like. Like bullies, they then shamed her to feel better about themselves.
 

There is nothing wrong with physical excellence achieved by healthy diet and the exercise Kang is advocating. Being healthy and comfortable in one’s own skin should be the ultimate fitness goal. If her body encourages shame, resent, anger, sadness or frustration, those feelings are a choice. Explore them. Act to resolve them. Work hard to achieve those results. Don’t project internal insecurities toward Kang.
 

The hope that society will stop body-shaming is a hope for equality, understanding and acceptance. Start creating that world by treating all people equally, whether they’re tall or short, thin or fit or fat. Blaming others for personal shame is the lazy, easy route to self-confidence. That also makes one a bigoted hypocrite.

[caligirlz]

And in recent news...."Hot mom suspended from Facebook for "hate speech" (but was reinstated, minus her comment)

 

http://www.news10.ne...for-hate-speech

 

Steve, did you already get to hear her speak? If not, can others attend?