85 replies to this topic

[OnTheRoadAgain]

I just learned that this is the father of one of my daughter's kindergarten classmates (last year) at Natoma Station.

His wife asked me last year if I wanted my daughter to join a Girl Scout (Daisy) troop that she was organizing. We did not -- which I am now grateful for. Rumors (and I emphasize RUMORS-- I have not substantiated them) are circulating that Girl Scout slumber parties were the opportunity for his crime(s).

I am heartbroken to realize that there is a strong likelihood that some or all of the victims were classmates of my daughter.

It is also sobering to realize how little we can really protect our children. This man was a firefighter; his wife was an elementary school teacher and (apparently) a Girl Scout leader. --Knowing this, I would have let my children go to their house without hesitation, if the opportunity had arisen. --Just goes to show that we can never truly know where evil lurks.

Speaking from a victims point of view (I was molested by my father) you should be careful before you go pointing fingers and throwing mud at the rest of the family. It is quite possible that the wife never knew. Young children often do not talk. You don't know how to, your scared, your confused. Also, these type of people are often secretive. They lead dual lives. He could have been living this life while he was on his off duty hours if he had typical fireman hours of I think 10 on and 4 off. That would have given plenty of alone time while his wife was at work. You just don't know all of the circumstances. I agree that he needs to pay for his crime. Just take it easy on his wife and kids.

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

Speaking from a victims point of view (I was molested by my father) you should be careful before you go pointing fingers and throwing mud at the rest of the family. It is quite possible that the wife never knew. Young children often do not talk. You don't know how to, your scared, your confused. Also, these type of people are often secretive. They lead dual lives. He could have been living this life while he was on his off duty hours if he had typical fireman hours of I think 10 on and 4 off. That would have given plenty of alone time while his wife was at work. You just don't know all of the circumstances. I agree that he needs to pay for his crime. Just take it easy on his wife and kids.

I didn't get the impression bordercolliefan was placing any blame on the wife or throwing mud at the family. I think the point she was making was that it's so difficult to know who you can trust your children with... that with the professions of the parents, she would have assumed this home was a safe environment.

[bordercolliefan]

Resume Lady is exactly right.

I don't know why you thought my post placed blame on the mother. On the contrary, I know the mom (as an acquaintance) and she seems like a nice person trying to do the best for her daughter. I have no doubt she was totally in the dark about her husband's activities.

[tessieca]

I have doubt, but do not assume she knew or did not. Remember, the guy in Empire Ranch used sleepovers also. His wife was a p.m. shift nurse, so she was not around when the molests occurred.

[OnTheRoadAgain]

Resume Lady is exactly right.

I don't know why you thought my post placed blame on the mother. On the contrary, I know the mom (as an acquaintance) and she seems like a nice person trying to do the best for her daughter. I have no doubt she was totally in the dark about her husband's activities.

Okay, just sensitive I guess. When we went through this you couldn't believe how people treated my mom and I. Even though my dad was placed in jail my friends were no longer aloud to associate with me. I would hear people say things when they thought I couldn't hear like "he probably did this becuase she (my mom) wasn't satisfing him. WE WERE THE VICTIMS and instead of people showing compassion they were mean and hurtful.

[bordercolliefan]

Okay, just sensitive I guess. When we went through this you couldn't believe how people treated my mom and I. Even though my dad was placed in jail my friends were no longer aloud to associate with me. I would hear people say things when they thought I couldn't hear like "he probably did this becuase she (my mom) wasn't satisfing him. WE WERE THE VICTIMS and instead of people showing compassion they were mean and hurtful.

I am so sorry that happened to you.

I think sometimes people want to place blame as a way of assuring themselves (really, deluding themselves) that this could never happen to them. The truth is, it could happen to any of us -- and, as you pointed out, someone we think we know and love could turn out to be leading a double life.

[tgianco]

Okay, just sensitive I guess. When we went through this you couldn't believe how people treated my mom and I. Even though my dad was placed in jail my friends were no longer aloud to associate with me. I would hear people say things when they thought I couldn't hear like "he probably did this becuase she (my mom) wasn't satisfing him. WE WERE THE VICTIMS and instead of people showing compassion they were mean and hurtful.

That's what I'm worried about w/ his family, especially his daughter.

[Joe]

That's what I'm worried about w/ his family, especially his daughter.

Dead CHP Officer Under Investigation in Folsom Child Molestation
http://news10.net/st...x?storyid=15426

[ShayShay]

C- are you forgetting who the real judge is here? I have a baby girl and yes I am appalled by this man and the thought of what he did to those innocent children but we cannot stoop to this level. What good does this do? You know what I'm saying. Just pray for everyone involved!!

BCF -- I'm very sorry for your daughter and all of her classmates that they have to live this reality at so young and precious and innocent an age. :(

The only thing we can do is educate our children. Without going into scary detail, we need to make sure they know about appropriate and inappropriate touching, that they should never keep secrets other adults tell them to keep, that they have the right to say "stop that" and to scream, that they should never take any kind of pills or medicine from anyone but their parents, etc. We taught our children about dropping to the floor (dead weight) and screaming if a stranger ever tried to take them, while reassuring them that we didn't think anything like that would ever happen to them. We did educating in a casual way, discussing events that were in the news and empowering them with techniques -- again, reassuring them that this type of thing would probably never happen to them. I've heard stories about children who -- because they had been educated -- knew how to protect themselves, get away, etc.

In a perfect world we wouldn't have to even raise these subjects with our children, but it isn't a perfect world. While no amount of educating can keep them 100% safe 100% of the time, we can do what is within our power. It's a shame and a fact that evil can lurk in any person of any profession and of any community; we can't be lulled into a false sense of security that because we don't live in a urban setting we have nothing to worry about.

[LexHillsmom]

I think sometimes people want to place blame as a way of assuring themselves (really, deluding themselves) that this could never happen to them. The truth is, it could happen to any of us -- and, as you pointed out, someone we think we know and love could turn out to be leading a double life.

The truth COULD also be that someone accused him falsely out of revenge, perhaps he rejected someone's romantic interest. Haven't we heard about the teacher in Citrus Heights who was accused of sexual molest and after months in jail and under investigation it was found that the mother of the accuser made up the story because of a child custody dispute? I'm not saying this is what happened but merely trying to point out other possibilities.

The sad truth is that often these accusations are true. We are pummeled and pummeled by these stories by all media. The false accusations and wrongful convictions get very little press or attention. People assume what they read in the paper is true and that if someone is arrested they're guilty. I have read some studies that indicate up to 40% of sexual assault accusations turn up false. This unpopular information does not get much media attention because there are powerful lobbies who don't want us to know that.

Bottom line. Perhaps he was guilty and perhaps not. WE will never know and we can speculate all day long. So shooting himself makes him look guilty - perhaps. We have no idea what was going on with this man, with his life. Maybe he was depressed. Maybe being in law enforcement he was painfully aware that even if he were cleared the stain of it would haunt him forever. God knows. I know we are all just thinking out loud so no one should be faulted for expressing their opinion but there are other possibilities other than GUILT.

I have two young daughters and I shiver to think of someone violating them or having their innocence betrayed physically or emotionally. If it were to happen I would be shattered and no doubt would demand justice and retribution. Other experiences have forced me to see beyond the headlines. A man is dead, his family is shattered, a young boy has possibly been violated and his family is devastated. These are all real people that bleed. While we can all come to our own conclusions we should never forget that.

[LexHillsmom]

The truth COULD also be that someone accused him falsely out of revenge, perhaps he rejected someone's romantic interest. Haven't we heard about the teacher in Citrus Heights who was accused of sexual molest and after months in jail and under investigation it was found that the mother of the accuser made up the story because of a child custody dispute? I'm not saying this is what happened but merely trying to point out other possibilities.

The sad truth is that often these accusations are true. We are pummeled and pummeled by these stories by all media. The false accusations and wrongful convictions get very little press or attention. People assume what they read in the paper is true and that if someone is arrested they're guilty. I have read some studies that indicate up to 40% of sexual assault accusations turn up false. This unpopular information does not get much media attention because there are powerful lobbies who don't want us to know that.

Bottom line. Perhaps he was guilty and perhaps not. WE will never know and we can speculate all day long. So shooting himself makes him look guilty - perhaps. We have no idea what was going on with this man, with his life. Maybe he was depressed. Maybe being in law enforcement he was painfully aware that even if he were cleared the stain of it would haunt him forever. God knows. I know we are all just thinking out loud so no one should be faulted for expressing their opinion but there are other possibilities other than GUILT.

I have two young daughters and I shiver to think of someone violating them or having their innocence betrayed physically or emotionally. If it were to happen I would be shattered and no doubt would demand justice and retribution. Other experiences have forced me to see beyond the headlines. A man is dead, his family is shattered, a young boy has possibly been violated and his family is devastated. These are all real people that bleed. While we can all come to our own conclusions we should never forget that.

Oops. I just realized I meant to post this with regard to the CHP officer who committed suicide. I'm not referring to the story about the man recently arrested for molestation. Sorry for the confusion.

[nhardy]

C- are you forgetting who the real judge is here? I have a baby girl and yes I am appalled by this man and the thought of what he did to those innocent children but we cannot stoop to this level. What good does this do? You know what I'm saying. Just pray for everyone involved!!

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to disagree with you here. What he did was indeed appalling, however as a fellow parent, I truly believe that there is absolutely no place in this world for that type of behavior. Pray for the victims and families, but I will not pray for the despicable man who did this. He's responsible for his own actions.

Unfortunately, the victims and their families will have to live with this for the rest of their lives. They put their trust in a person who portrayed a "normal" life with a respectable status, then violated them. That is unacceptable. I hope he gets punished to the fullest extent.

[tessieca]

Ditto. I do not consider these horrid perpetrators to be victims of any sort and refuse to pity them.

[CataBird]

It is also sobering to realize how little we can really protect our children. This man was a firefighter; his wife was an elementary school teacher and (apparently) a Girl Scout leader. --Knowing this, I would have let my children go to their house without hesitation, if the opportunity had arisen. --Just goes to show that we can never truly know where evil lurks.

Gee, considering Satan is the father of lies and deceipt, shouldn't we expect all evil to be clothed in innocence? After all, if we could see into each others' souls and determine who is good or evil, no one would be deceived and there would be no victims.

How else could evil harm us, except to deceive us? So, only through great parental vigilance can children be protected.

Unfortunately, thanks to contributions by liberals, evil people have "rights" that somehow override those of their victims. If you want evil folks like this guy kept away from their preferred victims, you must take action and vote only for representatives who hold the same values you hold.

As things are, I can't see this guy getting anything more than a mere slap on his wrist--because he confessed, and cooperated with police. If you pay attention to California's political news, you know that California's version of "Jessica's Law" did not pass our liberal legislature.