199 replies to this topic

[mylo]

Sometimes I feel that way about this forum...seems that some of the folks know each other fairly well and respond to their posts while others who post seem as though they are ignored...could it be the difference between being in the "in" crowd vs. not?

Nobody answer this one, okay guys!

[np1518]

based on the amount of judging and attacking that goes on in threads on this forum, i don't know why anyone would want to say hello to someone else in folsom. i've been reading threads on this forum for about a year now and at first i thought it was a great way to talk to other people in folsom about new restaurants, ideas about issues that concern our community etc., but i've come to the realization that nobody can ever post an opinion on this forum that goes against the majority without being attacked by many of the very same people who are posting that "they smile and say hello to everyone they meet" blah blah blah. it's disappointing. just because someone smiles and says hello to your face doesn't meant they aren't going to attack you on the forum just because you have a different opinion than they do or drive maybe, a bmw??? oh shame on those damned bmw drivers! they're all going to hell for sure!

[mama_D]

OK--I have to jump in on this one here. I don't have a lot of personal experience with people in Folsom--we're in a transitional phase--waiting for our house in the Bay Area to sell. And yes, we have a realtor and suprise, surprise it's Steve-the-Dad. I am a fairly liberal person while my husband is a (gasp) conservative!!!!!

Some of my best friends are conservative. It keeps my blood pumping! While their political views are not views I share--they are still caring, friendly individuals.

I think we all have a tendency to be either of two personality types with the ability to jump back and forth--circumstance permitting. There are introverts and there are extroverts. The extroverts at times have to work extra hard to bring the introverts out. To add to that issue--there are folks who are stressed for one reason or another--whether it's self-imposed or not. When those efforts are made without success--some extroverts will take that peronally. I think the key here is to understand that this is an evolving society that is veering towards increased social demands that are made on people regardless of their personality type or not. Some people just might be taxed to the limit. You never know. Don't take it personally.

I am a grocery-store line talker, a car-wash-waiting conversationalist, a Doctor's office waiting room chatter and instigator of the dreaded airplane-ride tell-alls. As a child it was written more often than not by any one of my teachers that I liked to talk in class a little more than was tolerated.

It has been a hard lesson to learn but I have learned it; when someone doesn't want to talk it's not about you. Unless maybe you smell or stand on the corner with a money jar and a pit -bull and a "Feed my Dog" sign...

[bishmasterb]

mama_d, Your post reminds me of something Thomas Jefferson said:

"I never consider a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend."

[tgianco]

Good last few posts by Bish and Mama. Generalizing, which we all do from time to time, is easy. It's usually not personal.

[ducky]

based on the amount of judging and attacking that goes on in threads on this forum, i don't know why anyone would want to say hello to someone else in folsom. i've been reading threads on this forum for about a year now and at first i thought it was a great way to talk to other people in folsom about new restaurants, ideas about issues that concern our community etc., but i've come to the realization that nobody can ever post an opinion on this forum that goes against the majority without being attacked by many of the very same people who are posting that "they smile and say hello to everyone they meet" blah blah blah. it's disappointing. just because someone smiles and says hello to your face doesn't meant they aren't going to attack you on the forum just because you have a different opinion than they do or drive maybe, a bmw??? oh shame on those damned bmw drivers! they're all going to hell for sure!

Well, not all the BMW drivers, only the snobbish ones.

[old soldier]

I don't think bay area folks are snobby, just crazy....isan francisco is an example of what can happen when a big bunch of liberals get packed together in a tight place.

old np1518, I don't see as much attacking on here as folks keeping other posters on their toes.

well old EDF attacks some but he probably doesn't do it cause he is mean he just likes the attention he gets from his posts

[np1518]

not much attacking? how about the "if you don't like kids why don't you get the hell out of folsom" comment? or what about the psychiatric housing on bidwell thread? lots of warm fuzzies between folsomites with differing opinions there....

[ngilbert]

I don't think bay area folks are snobby, just crazy....isan francisco is an example of what can happen when a big bunch of liberals get packed together in a tight place.

I don't think it's a Bay Area thing. It's more of a big city thing. I grew up in this area, but spent many years in the Bay Area before moving back. And really the thing that struck me when I came back was how friendly everyone here was, even the young people. I had forgotten. Now this was ten years ago or so, and maybe things have changed a bit, but with the Bay Area, everyone was our age (my wife and I), and everyone wanted to go to the same places (work dinner, etc.) we did at the same time we did, so it was very competitive in a way. Along the same lines, one thing I noticed here was older people. It was like, "hmmm, now that I think about it, there were no old people in San Jose". I don't think it was snobbyness, it was just that everyone was so busy, they never thought about slowing it down to be friendlier.

It's not a political thing either - take as red a state as you can think of - Alabama, where I've also spent a lot of time. In the small towns everyone is very friendly, so much so that the go-go-go Californian in me wishes the guy talking up the checkout lady at the store would wrap it up. But go to one of the big cities not too far away, like Birmingham or Huntsville which are as conservative as you can get, and, like San Francisco or San Jose, people aren't friendly. They aren't *unfriendly*, don't get me wrong, but they're less likely to chat you up either.

[supermom]

I don't think bay area folks are snobby, just crazy....isan francisco is an example of what can happen when a big bunch of liberals get packed together in a tight place.

old np1518, I don't see as much attacking on here as folks keeping other posters on their toes.

well old EDF attacks some but he probably doesn't do it cause he is mean he just likes the attention he gets from his posts

I like SF. For a visit. Sf has a heartbeat and if you stand still it feels like the ground vibrates(which is probably to due something like seismic action-but that's not really what I'm talking about).

Anyway np1518- I think there is a difference between someone who is a snob and someone who is opinionated or just strongly feels about some things. Honestly I think you were referring to one of my previous posts, which is why I'm responding. I am a very opinionated person-but hardly snobbish. Perhaps that is something that is difficult to differentiate in an online scenario without inflection or charisma added to conversations.

I enjoy a good debate-I'm not perfect so I definitely have been know to get hot headed and name call- but I have also "see the error of my ways" and corrected them -occasionally.

If that makes me a snob- oh well. I can live with that-I've been called worse!!

But I don't get how BMW 's fall into snob category. I think that is envy playing out. I have never owned a BMW, and frankly never liked the looks of them --but I hear they are a comfortable ride and accelerate nicely.

After my last blast at EDF-which was pretty strong- he PM me and was quite amused at my post. I don't think I have given EDF much credit for his humor--which I sense is quite dry-but there. So anyone else want to take a stab at someone and get a response?

[mama_D]

I'm gonna be the overgeneralization police today. I live in Contra Costa County--which is actually considered to be a haven for right-wingers in the Bay Area. My husband--who is 4th-generation SF born is conservative. The Bay Area has a greater number of POCKETS of liberals than is the norm in other areas of the country--or even state. But--a liberal can have a good debate with a conservative here. Although--my conservative friend at work--(when I worked in San Francisco) I will have to admit---was the butt of a few jokes in the office. But he got back at us liberals. He was pretty darned smug when Bush was re-elected... We are still telling him "I told you so..."

And because we are liberal and typically very tolerant people we didn't get into a little group and wipe that smugness off of his face--or-- take turns kicking him in the gut--or light matches under his fingernails or whatever.... We just show him the love. We even would smile at him in the street... unless we were late to our group chanting session or our Reiki hour...then--watch out... we would probably run over him in our hybrid highlanders while we frantically phone people via Bluetooth-- to let them know we were late.

BTW--I think the BMW reference has something to do with the "DINK" posting on the meet-up board... I wonder if that person would smile at my kid on the sidewalk... probably not...

[ngilbert]

After my last blast at EDF-which was pretty strong- he PM me and was quite amused at my post. I don't think I have given EDF much credit for his humor--which I sense is quite dry-but there. So anyone else want to take a stab at someone and get a response?

I'll bite.

To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell's heart, I stab at thee; For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!

(hey, can't go wrong with Melville... or "Wrath of Khan" if you prefer)

[Steve Heard]

Sometimes I feel that way about this forum...seems that some of the folks know each other fairly well and respond to their posts while others who post seem as though they are ignored...could it be the difference between being in the "in" crowd vs. not?

I must disagree.

We frequently see 'welcome to myfolsom!' messages when new people post.

I for one, welcome and encourage new members to post. When posts are ignored, I think, more often than not they aren't compelling enough to comment on.

I've acquired many friends, acquaintances and customers through myfolsom, including those stinkin' left leaning loony libs like Benning, Farley, F500, and CW68, as well a right-wing nut conservatives like John, Gaelic, Tessieca, Forumreader and cvanderveen, along with mellow moderates like tgianco, davburr, bordercolliefan, and of course, our resident libertarian, bishmasterb.

I can debate with any one or all of them,, but still have a beer, go for a jog, meet for coffee, give advice, ask for advice, or help them sell or finance a home.

You don't have to be in, and you don't have to have a certain political bent to be welcome here. Just be fairly nice and keep it interesting.

[supermom]

not much attacking? how about the "if you don't like kids why don't you get the hell out of folsom" comment? or what about the psychiatric housing on bidwell thread? lots of warm fuzzies between folsomites with differing opinions there....

I'm not gonna get into another debate about the kid thing again. If your objectionable to kids and don't want to hang out around kids then usually you just find something to do that is un kid friendly-meaning adult in nature. However when you state you don't like hanging out with people who have kids--that was offensive to me. Why ? Because is sounded very snobbish and it was a conversation starter that if not meant in that way could have been started off better.

The Psychiatric housing thread. Well-good fuzzies don't have to exist in order for there to not be a snobbish person present. And the whole point of a forum is differing opinions. If you want to come right out and say you don't like any of my posts because you don't like me for ________ reasons, hey whatever floats your boat. That doesn't make me or anyone else snobby, it just means you don't like me. Ok that's fine-I haven't seen to many of your posts so I can't say the same about you- and probably wouldn't- because I generally get along with most people. And here's the funny thing- I don't mind a conversation causing me to change my mind on something or even see someone on one thread as irritating and on another thread as funny or insightful, so maybe you just only are seeing one side of my posts?

[Steve Heard]

not much attacking? how about the "if you don't like kids why don't you get the hell out of folsom" comment? or what about the psychiatric housing on bidwell thread? lots of warm fuzzies between folsomites with differing opinions there....

I totally understand.

Yes, there are people on the forum who can use pointed or even insulting language, and then there are those who take offense and fight back, and one or two who are just antagonistic.

By and large, however, myfolsom.com represents a cross section of our community. Libs, mods, conservatives, black, white, asian, latin, male, female, gay, straight, mountain bikers, chopper riders, BMW drivers (me!), SUV drivers (my wife), pick up truck drivers (the rest of you :-) ), dog lovers and haters, cat lovers and haters, bird lovers (who doesn't love birds?), athletes, martial artists, humorists, dumbasses, baseball experts, and know-it-alls (me again).

All are welcome, as long as they don't get too personal with the insults.