139 replies to this topic

[nlove4ever]

This situation makes me think that mental illness could possibly be an issue.

Same thing happened with my hubbies family. Both his siblings and parents are college educated and all in great careers. My hubby has had of personal issues and in the past had issues with serious drugs. His parents did a great job of raising him but failed to follow through on his ADHD issues. They wanted him to go to college but due to his untreated ADHD, he could not focus. He failed out and his parents gave up, almost blaiming him personally for his lack of focus. My hubs was diagnosed as a child and because they did not want him on medication, they failed to recognize that the medication could have helped him lead a much more sucessful life and not have the choas he was experiencing. Finally, after a year of having issues in our marriage, I told him he needed to start addressing his ADHD issue or I am filing for a divorce. Now, he is on a diet to help with ADHD and vitamins which also help. The last few weeks have been night and day. After the three years of craziness because of his untreated ADHD, I am finally realizing that we can have a great life together. I recognize it's an illness like any other and help him help himself.

Just because you are a good parent, doesn't mean you always do what's best. His parents should have not dismissed his ADHD, which lead him to abuse other dangerous drugs in order to self-medicate.

Also, some parents with a larger family...three plus children, treat all of them differently or do not have the time to effectively parent all of them. I am part of a larger family and although all of us are doing well, my younger two siblings have had issues with depression in the past. My father was very hard on the last two and it showed with the issues they experienced. Luckily, they both seeked help. However, many people do not and that is why certain people have issues like in the situation you presented.

I am just glad that they parents turned in the child. From that move alone, they seem to be on the right path. This child may have mental issues and unfortunately the mental health profession is for the most part a joke. Hopefully, this kid can get the help he needs!

doj_gal-

Although I agree with some of your post, I don’t agree with it all. Yes ADHD is an illness but really all it is, is an inability to focus and being hyperactive. Those two things have nothing to do with making poor choices with drugs, etc. My 18 yr old son suffers from ADHD and I took a 12 week class taught by one of the leading psychiatrist's in the Sacramento Valley to help understand his issues and what makes him tick. Children with ADHD tend to respond better to the rewards system than they do to negative feedback. So I could see a child with ADHD who does not have positive reinforcement turn to drugs for some sort of escape, however I do believe that a lot of people who suffer from ADHD blame their problems or mistakes on it. Even some of my son’s friends have told me that they used the excuse of having ADHD as a crutch to get through things easier in school and some of then regret it. I am glad that the diet and vitamins are helping. Once you find out how to treat it, it is like night and day and such a huge relief! Much more peaceful in the house I am sure.

[doj_gal]

doj_gal-

Although I agree with some of your post, I don’t agree with it all. Yes ADHD is an illness but really all it is, is an inability to focus and being hyperactive. Those two things have nothing to do with making poor choices with drugs, etc. My 18 yr old son suffers from ADHD and I took a 12 week class taught by one of the leading psychiatrist's in the Sacramento Valley to help understand his issues and what makes him tick. Children with ADHD tend to respond better to the rewards system than they do to negative feedback. So I could see a child with ADHD who does not have positive reinforcement turn to drugs for some sort of escape, however I do believe that a lot of people who suffer from ADHD blame their problems or mistakes on it. Even some of my son’s friends have told me that they used the excuse of having ADHD as a crutch to get through things easier in school and some of then regret it. I am glad that the diet and vitamins are helping. Once you find out how to treat it, it is like night and day and such a huge relief! Much more peaceful in the house I am sure.

I have done tons of research and spoke with a handful of doctors. SO...your one seminar is merely one person's/a doctors office view of ADD/ADHD.

My husband has the Ring of Fire ADD. Look it up. It's not just the being hyper and lack of focus. His actions mirror that of someone who not only suffers from ADD, but bi-polar as well. He really doesn't realize how he acts or comes off and it's had very violent consquences. I've had to physically pull him off of two different people on two seperate incidents. I thought that he was going to kill them and according to family he has always done this. He gets angry past the point of where most people go and has a very hard time calming down from it. He 9 times out of 10 is the problem starter in the first place. He never hits me or our child...he really likes to start arguements with other very large men or people who disrespect people he loves.

If you read into the signs and symptoms of Ring of Fire ADD, you will see it's much more than just the hyper-active/non focus your ADHD son has experienced. I put ADHD in my post because I did not want to go to in depth with what my hubby has. And most people identify with ADHD. Looking back it's my fault you might have been confused. However, since you have called out our situation, trying to make us look like we though are liars, based on your classes taught by one person in the field, then I will clue you in. People with my husbands form have the worst ADD and it definetly doesn't get better by ignoring it or just with diet, vitamins and excercise. That combination has helped emencly, but he still needs meds. Which is what I am trying to help him realize.

Example: Today we were soposed to go to brunch and a baseball game. I woke up at 8 am, he had been up since 6 am and was already upset that I slept in. I told him let's have breakfast at home instead and enjoy some time just him and me. He started to get that angry look and started saying very hurtful things to me....(RING OF FIRE ADD symptom)
I told him that he can go if he wants to be mean and he left and is taking his friend. I already know how this is gonna go down...He will call me about 7 or 8 too drunk to drive and probably after a fight at the game. He hasn't taken his vitamins in 2 days, hasn't eaten this morning, hasn't smoke medical marajuana(yeah he does that to combat his ADD) and hasn't gotten his much needed excercise this week. Thus I have my rage-o-holic husband.

Please never assume you know anything about anything nlove4ever(esp after talking with only one doctor)...or that your situation is similar to mine when it cleary is not. When it comes to brain diseases, everyone is different. And had you basically ignored you son's issues, like my hubby's parents did, then your son may have gone down a very different path (drugs, dangerous sex, losing jobs, being arrested and incarcerated). Most children are diagnosed when they do not have ADD/ADHD(your children's friends). They need a proper diet (little sugar and no caffeine) and proper DAILY excercise. You cannot house your child all day...playing video games and wathcing t.v. and feed them crap and expect them to behave normally(whatever that is).

Oh and one website I love, compares the different types of ADD and ADHD to the different Winnie the Pooh characters. Your son would be the Tigger. Yeah, well they don't have a character for the type my hubby has so they've given his the Tazmanian Devil...Which pretty clearly sums up his type of ADD. In that comparison, Tigger seems much easier to live with!

[giasmom]

I have done tons of research and spoke with a handful of doctors. SO...your one seminar is merely one person's/a doctors office view of ADD/ADHD.

My husband has the Ring of Fire ADD. Look it up. It's not just the being hyper and lack of focus. His actions mirror that of someone who not only suffers from ADD, but bi-polar as well. He really doesn't realize how he acts or comes off and it's had very violent consquences. I've had to physically pull him off of two different people on two seperate incidents. I thought that he was going to kill them and according to family he has always done this. He gets angry past the point of where most people go and has a very hard time calming down from it. He 9 times out of 10 is the problem starter in the first place. He never hits me or our child...he really likes to start arguements with other very large men or people who disrespect people he loves.

If you read into the signs and symptoms of Ring of Fire ADD, you will see it's much more than just the hyper-active/non focus your ADHD son has experienced. I put ADHD in my post because I did not want to go to in depth with what my hubby has. And most people identify with ADHD. Looking back it's my fault you might have been confused. However, since you have called out our situation, trying to make us look like we though are liars, based on your classes taught by one person in the field, then I will clue you in. People with my husbands form have the worst ADD and it definetly doesn't get better by ignoring it or just with diet, vitamins and excercise. That combination has helped emencly, but he still needs meds. Which is what I am trying to help him realize.

Example: Today we were soposed to go to brunch and a baseball game. I woke up at 8 am, he had been up since 6 am and was already upset that I slept in. I told him let's have breakfast at home instead and enjoy some time just him and me. He started to get that angry look and started saying very hurtful things to me....(RING OF FIRE ADD symptom)
I told him that he can go if he wants to be mean and he left and is taking his friend. I already know how this is gonna go down...He will call me about 7 or 8 too drunk to drive and probably after a fight at the game. He hasn't taken his vitamins in 2 days, hasn't eaten this morning, hasn't smoke medical marajuana(yeah he does that to combat his ADD) and hasn't gotten his much needed excercise this week. Thus I have my rage-o-holic husband.

Please never assume you know anything about anything nlove4ever(esp after talking with only one doctor)...or that your situation is similar to mine when it cleary is not. When it comes to brain diseases, everyone is different. And had you basically ignored you son's issues, like my hubby's parents did, then your son may have gone down a very different path (drugs, dangerous sex, losing jobs, being arrested and incarcerated). Most children are diagnosed when they do not have ADD/ADHD(your children's friends). They need a proper diet (little sugar and no caffeine) and proper DAILY excercise. You cannot house your child all day...playing video games and wathcing t.v. and feed them crap and expect them to behave normally(whatever that is).

Oh and one website I love, compares the different types of ADD and ADHD to the different Winnie the Pooh characters. Your son would be the Tigger. Yeah, well they don't have a character for the type my hubby has so they've given his the Tazmanian Devil...Which pretty clearly sums up his type of ADD. In that comparison, Tigger seems much easier to live with!

Gosh Gal-I feel like I know you through your posts these past years. Im sorry for you and your husband and the challenges you sometimes face. I have a feeling you are a strong person and I bet your baby gives you even more, wishing you and yours all the best♥

[ducky]

This manager took a risk he should not have and one that the Wal-Mart corporation says will get you canned, if you ignore the rules and go ahead and follow a person out the door when you think they have stolen something.

Will this manager be made to resign for this incident? I think he should....he broke the rules, got injured and now has to be off work to heal. He has cost the company and health insurance money by an act that was not necessary and was foolish to do.

I understand what you are saying about the rules. If those are Walmart's rules, then he should be reprimanded. But fired? There's something about making him the villain in this that doesn't seem right. I wonder if the manager gets reprimanded if too much merchandise walks out the door.

[MrsTuffPaws]

Also, I thought this happened inside the garden center, not outside the store.

[Oldschooler81]

This manager took a risk he should not have and one that the Wal-Mart corporation says will get you canned, if you ignore the rules and go ahead and follow a person out the door when you think they have stolen something.

Will this manager be made to resign for this incident? I think he should....he broke the rules, got injured and now has to be off work to heal. He has cost the company and health insurance money by an act that was not necessary and was foolish to do.

Ouch, that's a little harsh isn't it?

In theory I do understand what you're saying, but it's not fair to blame this guy when the kid attacked him. Although I agree workers should never physically restrain or attack anyone (unless there was literally no choice), it's going overboard to get them in trouble for it! I'd be the hero if my family or someone was in danger....but not for a retail store. It's not worth your life or safety. Things can be replaced, but people can't.

All the time I worked in retail ('99 to 07) thankfully nothing ever happened besides a few people stealing just under our eyes at times when we were busy, etc. But I know if it had - if that kid pointed a knife at me I'd just be like "Dude take anything you want!" and then report it once he left.

[irish1]

This manager took a risk he should not have and one that the Wal-Mart corporation says will get you canned, if you ignore the rules and go ahead and follow a person out the door when you think they have stolen something.

Will this manager be made to resign for this incident? I think he should....he broke the rules, got injured and now has to be off work to heal. He has cost the company and health insurance money by an act that was not necessary and was foolish to do.

It's challenging to put into words a response to your indictment. You condemn a person for an act, which by all intent was a gesture to do the right thing, at the right time, and for all the right reasons. As a result of that honorable act, an unforseen and very vicious attack took place, which threatened the very life of that store manager. Yet, you believe the store rules take precedent, (if there are such rules), and the man should be cast aside, and "be made to resign."

This guy did nothing more than the stores loss-prevention employees would have done. Once a thief passes the point of sale locations, (check-out registers), and is headed for the doors, they are fair game. It's the same at most all of your retailers that actively attempt to cut down on the loss of merchandise.

Ripping off the big retailers nowdays, is a bigggg business across the country. And do you think that the total sum of all losses each and every year, just get ignored? No, it gets penciled into the costs of merchandise and passed on to the consumers - you, and me.

Your lashing statement that this man, '....got injured and now has to be off work to heal. He has cost the company and health insurance money...' Wow, you make the gentleman sound as if he was worthless, and a burdening strain on the bottom dollar. That, is a cold shot...!

And really - if that man knew ahead of time that his intervention, may cost him his life, I really doubt that he would have carried on and contacted the assailant. Don't you think...??

[ducky]

It's challenging to put into words a response to your indictment. You condemn a person for an act, which by all intent was a gesture to do the right thing, at the right time, and for all the right reasons. As a result of that honorable act, an unforseen and very vicious attack took place, which threatened the very life of that store manager. Yet, you believe the store rules take precedent, (if there are such rules), and the man should be cast aside, and "be made to resign."

This guy did nothing more than the stores loss-prevention employees would have done. Once a thief passes the point of sale locations, (check-out registers), and is headed for the doors, they are fair game. It's the same at most all of your retailers that actively attempt to cut down on the loss of merchandise.

Ripping off the big retailers nowdays, is a bigggg business across the country. And do you think that the total sum of all losses each and every year, just get ignored? No, it gets penciled into the costs of merchandise and passed on to the consumers - you, and me.

Your lashing statement that this man, '....got injured and now has to be off work to heal. He has cost the company and health insurance money...' Wow, you make the gentleman sound as if he was worthless, and a burdening strain on the bottom dollar. That, is a cold shot...!

And really - if that man knew ahead of time that his intervention, may cost him his life, I really doubt that he would have carried on and contacted the assailant. Don't you think...??

You said it was challenging to put into words a response, but you nailed it, irish1. Well said.

[Redone]

This manager took a risk he should not have and one that the Wal-Mart corporation says will get you canned, if you ignore the rules and go ahead and follow a person out the door when you think they have stolen something.

Will this manager be made to resign for this incident? I think he should....he broke the rules, got injured and now has to be off work to heal. He has cost the company and health insurance money by an act that was not necessary and was foolish to do.

This is what's wrong with America. Worried about the cost of health insurance instead what is the right thing to do.

Stopping a thief is the natural thing to do for most honest people, even managers and maybe even some customers like me.

The day thieves roam free, as in your world, is when they have won and the rest of us have lost a part of our freedom. That would be a sad day for Folsom.

[supermom]

nope sorry.

I disagree with all of you.

the guy was not a cop.

and he had no business laying his hands on a kid.

Bet he wouldn't have done it--if it had been a 235 pound 6 foot 3 inch linebacker...

but a trained cop would have known and would have had the right equipment--to stop this kid ---possibly before the knife got used.

I agree with maxine on this one.

Walmart should be sued.

[Dave Burrell]

nope sorry.

I disagree with all of you.

the guy was not a cop.

and he had no business laying his hands on a kid.

Bet he wouldn't have done it--if it had been a 235 pound 6 foot 3 inch linebacker...

but a trained cop would have known and would have had the right equipment--to stop this kid ---possibly before the knife got used.

I agree with maxine on this one.

Walmart should be sued.

I disagree with you.

The guy was the store manager, his job is to "police" the store to make sure everything is going right. Nobody expects a 13 year old to be armed and dangerous and ready to kill.

Nobody should have to stand by and watch people stealing from their store and the manager sure as heck did too have business laying his hands on the kid - he was stealing from the store!

I bet he would too have gone after an adult if that who was caught stealing, but that's not the case here.

Dept stores don't employ highly trained cops to guard their doors to catch shoplifters.

Turning the world into a bunch of pansy's that need to let criminals get away with stealing out of fear of getting sued by the damned criminal is completely ridiculous.

Frankly, I'm shocked that you'd want the criminal to sue the victim..... this is what is wrong with the world these days, bleeding hearts want the criminals to have more rights then the victims - that just ain't right in my book.

[ducky]

Have to disagree with you, supermom. The kid was the criminal here. You're right about who would have thunk a 13-year-old would have been armed and dangerous and it was a calculated risk to stop him, but that's just bad luck on the manager's part. It doesn't make him the bad guy. If it were my kid acting like a little hoodlum, I would be apologizing profusely for his behavior, not blaming the guy that caught him.

[wreathlady]

I disagree with you.

The guy was the store manager, his job is to "police" the store to make sure everything is going right. Nobody expects a 13 year old to be armed and dangerous and ready to kill.

Nobody should have to stand by and watch people stealing from their store and the manager sure as heck did too have business laying his hands on the kid - he was stealing from the store!

I bet he would too have gone after an adult if that who was caught stealing, but that's not the case here.

Dept stores don't employ highly trained cops to guard their doors to catch shoplifters.

Turning the world into a bunch of pansy's that need to let criminals get away with stealing out of fear of getting sued by the damned criminal is completely ridiculous.

Frankly, I'm shocked that you'd want the criminal to sue the victim..... this is what is wrong with the world these days, bleeding hearts want the criminals to have more rights then the victims - that just ain't right in my book.

I totally agree. I worked in a State Hospital and these losers have more rights than you and I and all they do is sue if they cannot get what they want. It is a big travesty. I think this manager did the right thing and it is his job to watch over the store. Poor guy. I do not know him, but he probably would have done the same with an adult.

[Michael Hughes]

This manager took a risk he should not have and one that the Wal-Mart corporation says will get you canned, if you ignore the rules and go ahead and follow a person out the door when you think they have stolen something.

Will this manager be made to resign for this incident? I think he should....he broke the rules, got injured and now has to be off work to heal. He has cost the company and health insurance money by an act that was not necessary and was foolish to do.

The manager should be applauded for having pride in his store. Forced to resign? Most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, store policy or not. That is the kind of thought process that is wrong with this world.

nope sorry.

I disagree with all of you.

the guy was not a cop.

and he had no business laying his hands on a kid.

Bet he wouldn't have done it--if it had been a 235 pound 6 foot 3 inch linebacker...

but a trained cop would have known and would have had the right equipment--to stop this kid ---possibly before the knife got used.

I agree with maxine on this one.

Walmart should be sued.

If the kid stole he has every business laying his hands on the child.

Frankly this is when a rod should be spoiled on that child's arse. Frankly, if someone is stealing kid or not the law should provide for him to have tackled that kid to the cement and used as much excessive force as necessary.

I hope that kid and his parents get sued for every single penny they are worth and ever will be worth.

Next thing you will be saying that since someone shot and killed a cop that served a search warrant, the Police should be sued because they violated his rights by going on that guy's property. Where does it end? I'm shocked that either of you two think like that and frankly that is the kind of attitudes that make me ashamed to be a part of this society these days.

Shame.

On both of you.