83 replies to this topic

[Orangetj]

Awesome! All this time I thought I was leading an overly sedentary lifestyle. It turns out that I'm getting a couple of hours or exercise a day! My doctor will be thrilled!

[Sweetpea & Snookems]

I also look at motherhood as making sacrifices. For me, it means that I don't get to go out, I'm far out of the breastfeeding phase & I'm still skipping meals, I don't get to go shopping, I definitely don't go out to socialize at night at a club, bar or party-type atmosphere and I didn't do that when dad was still with us either. I just don't get to do alot of things at all, but that's part of the territory for me and I'm sure not complaining. For myself, my definition of motherhood is going from what's best for me-to what's best for my kids and I don't get to spoil myself or pamper myself just because I want to and I'm more than willing to sacrifice material things and creature comforts for the emotional and physical well being of my kids.

I'm not saying that everyone who would disagree is wrong or a bad parent, but that's just what my personal belief of what being a mother is and that is what I was prepared and planning to do before I had my first born. I didn't go out except for very special occasions, I missed conversations, dinners & moments but I don't complain & I don't think it was bad. I was there, everyone knew I was there, and I removed myself for about a half an hour at a time when the baby needed me. No biggie to me & I didn't make anyone uncomfortable. For me, motherhood is hard, exhausting, less-than-glamrous, a bit conforming, compromising out the ying-yang, and sacrificing left and right and so well worth it I've been bite by the baby bug for the past few months (no, I'm not even doing anything that'll give me another baby)


When I say go to the bathroom-I've always envisioned the waiting area-not the stall itself...wish I clarified that, I can't even see that working, I don't know how I'd hold the baby. I just didn't mean the stall. Sorry.

Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health

K, you boys brought it & all the males I am close enough with to ask I"m related to, so I'm not asking.
Would you call it a reflex, do you do it to absolutely anyone? Is it a sign a guy's interested...especially if he's the shy respectable type & is greatly shamed as soon as he catches himself-to which I caught on minutes prior, which makes him apologize profusely & run away. Is it just the girls? Is it just that natural? Is it a good thing, or a bad thing? I would have never thought he'd be interested & never had an opportunity to actually run it by someone but y'all brought it up.

...we're not little kids I always figured men grew out of it.

[Folsom4Now]

I have a lot of friends who are around baby-having age. I am frequently at social events with these women (and their babies)-- lunch at restaurants, tea and a chat at my house, baby showers, dinner parties, whatever.

I would much rather continue to converse with my friend and enjoy her company than be left twiddling my thumbs at a restaurant table for 40 minutes while she disappears to nurse her baby.

The first time you see a woman nurse, it may be a bit of a curiosity. Once you get used to it, you realize that they are still a person, they can still carry on a conversation and eat a meal even while the baby nurses.

Haven't most guys had a lot of practice maintaining eye contact even when talking to a very well-endowed woman??! --Socializing with a breastfeeding mom calls on the same skill!

I agree, I think as long as you cover up considering I'm preggo right now I don't want to be made to feel ashamed to feed my baby

[Erika]

There are not usually waiting areas in most public bathrooms. It would be great if there were. If I feed in the bathroom, I have to use seat covers to sit on the toilet (fully clothed) and feed my baby. I don't think people really think about the details much except for those who breastfeed.

I agree, I think as long as you cover up considering I'm preggo right now I don't want to be made to feel ashamed to feed my baby

You are right and you should not feel that way.

[bordercolliefan]

I agree, I think as long as you cover up considering I'm preggo right now I don't want to be made to feel ashamed to feed my baby

Just think, it was only a few short decades ago that people were squeamish about seeing pregnant women. The Lucille Ball show was considered very risque when it showed a pregnant Lucy on-screen. Come to think of it, you couldn't really say "pregnant." Women were "expecting" or "in the family way." Such women were supposed to stay pretty close to home; if they did go out, they would wear modest smocks that attempted to disguise the bulging belly.

Now we have everything from maternity lycra work-out clothes to maternity swimsuits... Demi Moore showed us that a bare pregnant belly can be a beautiful belly.

One of the things the women's movement has done is to celebrate (or at least bring out of the closet) the natural processes of a woman's body that used to be cloaked in shame -- pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, breastfeeding...

Surely this is a good thing.

[bishmasterb]

Just to mixup the discussion a bit...

For all of you who think that breastfeeding in public is acceptable (and I'm at least partially in your camp): what do you think the acceptable age limit should be? 1 year, 2 years...5 years old?

Beyond Toddlerhood: The Breastfeeding Relationship Continues
http://www.lalechele...FebMar98p3.html

[Terry]

Just to mixup the discussion a bit...

For all of you who think that breastfeeding in public is acceptable (and I'm at least partially in your camp): what do you think the acceptable age limit should be? 1 year, 2 years...5 years old?

Beyond Toddlerhood: The Breastfeeding Relationship Continues
http://www.lalechele...FebMar98p3.html

Okay, at one year old, baby is eating table foods and the nutritional value of breastmilk is minimal in conjunction with his table foods. I found that my baby was at that point nursing more for comfort than nutrition at one year old and weaned himself right around that point in time. I'm all in favor of breastfeeding, but it gets a little weird when babes can unbutton mom's blouse and/or says "hey, mom, flop it out here, I'm hungry"...........

[Dave Burrell]

To all the mothers here - never ever be embarrassed to breast feed your child - that is a totally natural thing to do and it is not wrong nor is it bad.

All I can suggest is for those who are embarrassed to see it - DON'T LOOK! Good grief its not a booby show, its a mother feeding her child - this has been going on since the beginning of mankind

[forumreader]

Okay, at one year old, baby is eating table foods and the nutritional value of breastmilk is minimal in conjunction with his table foods.

Other points of view:

[QUOTE]
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child... Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother... There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer." (AAP 2005)

The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that "Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired." They also note that "If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned." (AAFP 2001)

A US Surgeon General has stated that it is a lucky baby who continues to nurse until age two. (Novello 1990)

The World Health Organization emphasizes the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond (WHO 1992, WHO 2002).

In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001

[QUOTE]

I think it is important to emphasize that breastfeeding beyond 12 months should be MUTUALLY desired by mother and child. (See AAP quote.)

Though breastfeeding is encouraged for at least 12 months, moms who've breastfed their babies for even just days, weeks or a a few months should not be discouraged. Studies have shown that babies gain significant health benefits from even a few nursings.

[cw68]

I want to mention the benefits breastfeeding brings to Mom, too. Besides the immediate benefits of releasing oxytocin shrinking the uterus after birth and it burning more calories, there's a significant reduction in breast cancer risk.

For every 12 months that a woman breastfeeds, her risk of breast cancer declines by 4%, according to an analysis of 47 epidemiologic studies in 30 countries.

http://www.guttmache...s/2822802a.html

[bordercolliefan]

I think it is a woman's choice how long to breastfeed-- there is nothing morally wrong with extended breastfeeding.

I do have a practical concern, however. When I weaned my babies around 9 months, it seems like it was no problem. They easily adjusted to using the bottle and sippy cup. I would imagine that trying to wean a 3, 4, or 5 year old would be quite a different proposition.

Actually, I have an acquaintance who was trying to wean her 3 year old. We were at a gathering and he had a full tantrum, screaming, "I want booby now!!! Booby!!" (I guess that was the word she had taught him to use). It was a little odd.

Before I continued breastfeeding past age 1 or 2, I would investigate what problems I might run into with the weaning.

[Chad Vander Veen]

To all the mothers here - never ever be embarrassed to breast feed your child - that is a totally natural thing to do and it is not wrong nor is it bad.

All I can suggest is for those who are embarrassed to see it - DON'T LOOK! Good grief its not a booby show, its a mother feeding her child - this has been going on since the beginning of mankind

To all the men here - never ever be embarrassed to masturbate furiously whenever you see a hot woman - that is a totally natural thing to do and it is not wrong nor is it bad.

All I can suggest is for those who are embarrassed to see it - DON'T LOOK! Good grief its not a weener show, its a man ejaculating - this has been going on since the beginning of mankind

/devils advocate

[Orangetj]

Actually, CV, I think you hit on what I think is the crux of the "problem" for a lot of people. We have a hard time desexualizing breasts. I'll take this further to say that I think many people (perhaps not you) don't LIKE to think of breasts in anything other than a sexual manner and it upsets them to see the objects of their fascination altered into mere food delivery devices.

Public masturbation and breast feeding have basically nothing in common, other than the exposure of body parts often considered to be sexual. If you take the sexual objectification of breasts out of the equation, there is nothing in common between the two actions. I mean seriously, on the one hand you're talking about an exhibitionist display of self-gratification and on the other hand we're talking about the nourishment and sustenance of a baby in the way God intended it.

[futuremrs4]

I just have to say that I find other things to be way more repulsive when I am dining out. I also used to breastfeed my child when I would dine out, and I always did so discreetly... But I must say I find other things more offensive. I think it is so gross that people think its okay to bring themselves into a coffeeshop or restaurant after they have gone on a bike ride. Nothing is more unappetizing than a middle aged man, sweaty, in spandex with no underwear on under his bike shorts smelling up the whole place... What worse is seeing them change out of their bike clothes in the parking lots in front of these coffee shops. UGGGHHHHH. And this happens every weekend in this town!!!! Ride your bike, shower, then go eat!!!!

[bishmasterb]

Actually, CV, I think you hit on what I think is the crux of the "problem" for a lot of people. We have a hard time desexualizing breasts. I'll take this further to say that I think many people (perhaps not you) don't LIKE to think of breasts in anything other than a sexual manner and it upsets them to see the objects of their fascination altered into mere food delivery devices.

Well...breasts play a large part in sexual attraction. Isn't that why human female's breasts are enlarged ALL THE TIME, not just when the female is lactating. What's the purpose of that, if not to attract members of the opposite sex?

We just can't fight two million years of human evolution.