202 replies to this topic

[Steve Heard]

When do kids get their first opportunity to take drugs?

When do they start talking to each other about drugs and alcohol?

[OctoberLily]

My kids said they were offered drugs in middle school. By the way, we moved to Folsom during their first year in middle school.

It's kind of ironic because we moved from South Sacramento to Folsom with the purpose of protecting our kids from the South Sac gangs and problems associated in that area. Needless to say, we were extremely surprised to find out that the same problems exist in the schools up here but worse - they don't have metal detectors or drug sniffing dogs up here. They do in South Sac - so the kids don't dare bring it to school. Sigh!

Also, many of the kids in South Sac came from low to middle income families so they don't have the $$$ to purchase drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. Many of the kids work when they turn 16 yo to help their families make ends meet.

Over here, kids are given money liberally for extracurricular activities. I know some parents who refuse to allow their kids to work because "they are only young once." Needless to say, these are the kids with too much time on their hands and are constantly BORED.

[zach5]

So they actually use metal detectors, and drug sniffing dogs in South Sac.? I never knew they did anything like that in this whole area.

[Mike Hilscher]

Im 18. Never had a job.. I dont seem to cause trouble

[OctoberLily]

Mike, you are one of the good ones.... Good for you! Weren't you on the Folsom Teen Council?

Zach, unfortunately, yes they do. Kennedy put up cameras everywhere since a stabbing incident a year ago. Burbank has had metal detectors for a while now. I don't know if they still do. When we lived there, you will occassionally see PD & their dogs on the campuses. Sometimes it takes one incident to cause these tactics to be enforced. I know Burbank has had it share of problems but I think they are doing better lately. At least some of the kids feel safer with the metal detectors and police in place.

[Riverwalker]

I put these on the general discussion but hope also they have some effect in the location. The word needs to get out - a note and letter to my daughter.

Smith, Heather, age 16, killed by a drunken driver.
Heather was the loved daughter of Kenneth and Bridget Smith.
She is also survived by her loving brother, Miles.

Heather' brief life ended tragically on Dec. 31, 2001.
She was taken on the eve of a new year. Heather aspired to a career in theatre.
Ms. Smith is also survived by her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
She is also mourned by her high school friends who will miss her smiling face.
Services will be private, but donations can be made to MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
If not for a drunken driver Heather Smith, would be here to live life to its full potential....
She is sadly missed.

and our letter to her read at rocklin HS assembly-


Dearest Heather, our darling little girl who grew into a beautiful, young woman.

You are gone now, taken so suddenly that mom and I are still numb and filled with disbelief. If there was anyway of knowing your young life would have been snuffed out so suddenly, there is so much more we would have done and said while you were still alive. But even though you are now gone, you will always be our lovely and treasured daughter.

I recall the last words I spoke as you went out the door. I said, "Have fun and drive carefully." Now I wish I had said, "Heather, I love you so much that life without you would be unimaginable. Please come home safe." Looking back on our brief sixteen years together, I see so many happy times; times when you were laughing, playing, teasing your brother, and worrying your mom and me. What I would not give to have those times back again. How would I handle them?

Perhaps we never told you just how much you meant to us and how special you were as a person. I know it is too late now, but you were the world, the stars, the sun, and the air we breathe to us. Our world is so much smaller now that you are gone. There is one more star in the sky since you have joined the millions of others. The sun will never be as warm again since the warmth of your smile is gone. And the air is barely enough to sustain life anymore, as you, one of our reasons for living, have been so suddenly and senselessly taken from us.

You will never be forgotten, and though we all will go on, there will always be a vacant place in our hearts and minds that is reserved eternally for Heather.....

Sleep in peace our darling daughter, love always Dad and Mom

[FolsomJr17]

QUOTE (stevethedad @ Apr 7 2004, 02:23 PM)

When do kids get their first opportunity to take drugs? When do they start talking to each other about drugs and alcohol?

Depends on where they are living.

In Ukiah, I bet you're offered drugs when you're six.

[Cloud9]

All this 'alarm' about sex, drugs, drinking, smoking, etc... I went to H.S. over 20years ago and my sister is still a teacher to this day.

I've smoked pot, started having sex at 13, drank throughout H.S., and smoked on occassion. I was still a B+/A student, went on to college (more pot/weed, more drinking, more sex), and then graduate school.

All while working full-time by the way, and attending college/graduate school full-time. I was on the Dean's list regularly as a top student and even managed a couple of scholarships. I also served in the military where drugs and alcohol are just as rampant as any other place and that's with regular testing for drug use!

My sister who is a teacher tells me that nothing has changed in these past 20 years. All of this still goes on in H.S. And while we often hear of the tragedies (overdose, killed by drunk driver, etc.) the reality is that it's a large majority of the H.S. population no matter what H.S. you attend.

In my H.S. I can count the virgins on H.S. graduation on a single hand, and by virgin that meant no vaginal sex, did not mean that they had not become sexually involved in some way oral or otherwise.

I have 2 kids of my own, and I just hope to keep my kids alive through all the hazing with alcohol, guns/shootings, HIV, drunk drivers, extreme sports, etc.

Even if your kid tells you that they've never had sex, don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, it's their interpretation of what these things mean.

Sure they're not telling you they snort glue or inhale paint because they don't consider those things as drugs, nor are they telling you they have oral or other sex. How about those testosterone shots they're taking as they body build or other performance enhancing drugs?

All you can hope is that through this period of experimentation in their lives they don't go off and kill themselves or someone else. They'll come around it's just a rebellion to mom and dad's view of the perfect world...

As an adult, I don't smoke, only drink the occassional glass of wine, don't do drugs (but honestly believe they should be legalized and taxed), and don't have sex anymore since I'm married with kids! hah! jk - had to get that one in.....

[Hanalei]

At Oakridge High School, it was almost always the affluent that were doing the most partying and sex. Those were the ones with parents who were always at work, paying for their sprawling stucco home up on a hill with a view and their new BMW.
Their kids had tons of freedom, tons of money, and lots of parties while their parents were away. As well as a nice car, no curfew, and little supervision.
You were definitely in the minority if you weren't partying and having sex..and you needed to have "reason"...i.e. I'm a mormon, I'm saving myself for marriage, etc.
And only then, if you were handsome, pretty, rich, or funny, could you pull off being cool and NOT partying/sex.
High school is brutal!

[Cloud9]

QUOTE (Hanalei @ Jun 6 2004, 01:48 PM)

At Oakridge High School, it was almost always the affluent that were doing the most partying and sex.

I second that.... it carried on into college. The absolute wildest undergraduate parties I can remember in college were the ones thrown by the affluent students attending Columbia, Wharton, and NYU by far the most alcohol, drugs and sex.

[TheCourtJester]

QUOTE (Mike Hilscher @ Apr 7 2004, 12:24 AM)

Surveys dont show how many people do drugs it never will... what it will do is cause people to argue over how many do and dont... We really don't know..     All you can do is ask your kids if they have done them.. tell them you will not ground them.. get angry at them.. or take things away from them if you do get angry.. all your child will do is hide it from you and you will never know. (sometimes parents want that though )..    You have to build a trust between you and your kid and hope he/she tells you what is going on. but don't incourage drinking, smoking, becoming sexually active.. but if it happens you can't jump to conclusions and tell your kid hes grounded untill the age of 18 thats just not right.   Ask your child.... Where are you going? Where can I reach you at? (NOT THERE CELL PHONE!!!..).... ask for a house number. Get to know their friends.. see how they are like. but dont be so upfront about it too.. You need to be sly and sneaky. Just make sure your kid is alright, and if he/she gets into trouble.. Bail them out, and then discuss it with them and try not to get all hot tempered.    The world is not perfect..Teens will always do drugs/have sex/drink, but if you discuss and talk to your kids about it then you know you have tried your hardest to prevent any of that from happening. If this post doesnt make any sense.. eh oh well then disgrard it.. Its about 1:20 AM.. p.s. im 18... Ive never done drugs/smoked/Drinkin(yes I know its not a word)/or had sex.  im a senior at FHS edit: If you get your kids involved in computer games <cough> Dark Age Of Camelot <cough> then you can say goodbye to their social life and never worry! (Only zack should understand this one) lol...

I'm in 100% agreement with this...
I remember taking a number of "healthy kids" or somesuch surveys...They were completely anonymous, so no one should have to lie, right? Well you'd think, but just walking out of class you get a majority of people who say "I just put no, 'cuz I do it, but I don't do it all that much." Surveys dont work.

I think it's all up to raising your kids correctly. Teaching them there ARE consequences for their actions and they are not always ones that mom, dad, money, or friends can bail you out of.

Because my family has major issues with alcohol in the past, they've educated me on it beyond just saying "don't drink it." I have tasted, but the thought of actually drinking it scares the living daylights out of me because of the family history and a particular experience at a "party" scene...

Yes, there is a problem with it among our age group...That one party I was talking about? About 150 people, most drinking...one person drank way too much, and I was the only one with the presence of mind to call an ambulance while he passes out, turning rather blue, while everyone just stands and laughs. Havn't had any desire to drink since, and you will not see me at teh "party" scene over 20 people anymore.

Many kids will brag openly to their buddies about their drug habits, but outright lie to any kind of authority figures.

Seaching a kids room is fine. No kid should care unless he's got something to HIDE right? Get the metal detectors and cameras and drug-sniffing dogs. The students who complain their "right to privacy" is being violated will be the first ones searched

And I've heard a lot about the infamous "Cam" addiction.... Like it turns them into zombies and stuff...and life ends when the master server goes down...that kind of stuff ... he he.

[forumreader]

Jester:

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders! I hope your peers look up to you as a role model.

[Protchnu]

QUOTE

Seaching a kids room is fine. No kid should care unless he's got something to HIDE right? Get the metal detectors and cameras and drug-sniffing dogs. The students who complain their "right to privacy" is being violated will be the first ones searched

So searching you house at any time should be fine also right? Or searching your car? The only people that should be against it are the ones that have something to hide right?

Heck why don't we just abolish all the civil rights while we're at it.

The problem isn't so much as doing drugs at school or carrying weapons at school as it is doing drugs with friends or having boxing matches in the park. You can't stop that unless you want to hire more police officers or put cameras everywhere. Two people were expelled at school (That I know of) for having weapons at school. One person had brass knuckles (funny thing is zach and I were doing a presentation when the guy was caught...he was showing it off right in front of the teacher) and the other person had a paint ball barrel...nothing else.

How many people truly live in fear when coming to Folsom High? You sound like the Folsomjuniors except you say it in a differnt manner. Folsom High isn't like Compton and it'll take a long time (if ever) before it gets like that. Folsom isn't some inner city school with gang bangers everywhere.

Personally I think that if you think we actually need drug dogs and metal detectors you should seek counselling for paranoia.

[bishmasterb]

I suppose I might search my kid's rooms if they gave me a strong reason to suspect that they were doing something seriously wrong. Otherwise, I want to raise them to know that I respect their privacy, and they should respect other's privacy.

Whatever parent's decide, I would recommend you be honest with your kids and let them know that their rooms are subject to random searches if that is indeed the case.

[tessieca]

I reserve the right to enter any place in my home at any time. When the kids are grown and self-funded, they can have their own private places, and I will stay out.