374 replies to this topic

[cw68]

Yeah i knew Andre, he was in my math class all last year. He was a good guy,he will be missed. But i have noticed,ever since the light rail opened,crime has escalated in Folsom,that could have something to do with it. People travel.. It could have also been gang related,not just a hate crime,there are gangs in sacramento and the light rail can bring them. Andre didnt look like he was in a gang or anything,he was a good guy,but you never know these days,gang violence is beginning to increase.

Aurgh. Why does light rail get blamed for anything and everything???

[momdadnteen]

I have to agree. Folsom is pretty mellow in comparison. That isn't to say we should disregard some of the accidents and tragedies that have happened, but let's not jump the gun and point fingers at our city for being faulty. Folsom is pretty clean and safe. Bad things happen from time to time though, unfortunantly...

More on this topic of mellowness and safety in Folsom (remember, this is only MY opinion): Yes, Folsom is mellow and we consider Folsom to be safe; as are many other communities across America. We live in the suburbs of major cities for safety, low crime, a better life. We pay higher prices in some senses for that, too. As said, things happen from time to time and we in Folsom, or any other so-called "safe" community, are not immune to this.

My first response upon hearing of Andre's death, as a mother of a 19 year old daughter, was fear, compassion and tears. I live off of Turnpike and wondered what had happened - I asked a passerby who told me "an 18 year old commited suicide by hanging himself in a tree." I was overwhelmed with compassion; then my thoughts turned to Andre's folks; then to my own daughter.

It is natural for people in the community to want to know what happened; that inate curiosity however, breeds rumors. That is true. We live in a nation of fear because we are faced with 24/7 media everyday of our lives. These tragedies happen every single day in every part of America - suburbs or not. We had Columbine; 9-11; and now war (to only mention a few). We have violence through media - T.V., movies and music. Our children are not immune to it. They see it and they know about it all. Our kids are faced with decisions to make every day in any high school in America - drugs, alcohol, joy riding, risk taking - much more than we were faced with. High school today is a different world.

Children growing up today are not growing up in the same world that any of us did. We have to use common sense when we teach our children; I still do not want my daughter to walk around Folsom at night by herself; I do not want her walking the trails by herself. I have taught her about being "aware" at all times - in parking lots, at school (Sierra College) and on and on it goes. I do not feel that we should "shield" our kids from the ugliness of the world - because, some day we have to let them out in that world and they will need to be able to take care of themselves and function in a world in which "bad things happen." I don't care where anyone lives. We don't want to teach them that the world is scary and to be fearful at all times - but at the same time, we have to teach them that the world is not always safe so that they are prepared.

I am very saddened by the tragedy of Andre's death. I want to know what happened. Yes, we should wait for the investigation to unfold; and hopefully, we will be told the facts at some point. We, as a community, have a right to know what happened. Last night, I watched the local news; a police officer on the scene said there was no foul play - Andre was not bound or had any injuries to his body. Yet, when a reporter interviewed a woman, she said that was not true - and furthermore, she saw it herself and stated he could not have done that to himself. So, this makes people fearful - fearful of what could have happened. Fearful for their own kids; fearful that they thought they were living in a completely safe community.

This forum is for people to express their opinions and views of all sorts of things. And, that is what people are doing here. I think we are all saying our prayers to give strength to Andre's parents. I am sure that they have a huge support system helping them. For that matter, they want to know what happened as well. So, we'll wait for the investigation to unfold. I just hope that the community is advised.

[s0479]

asbestoshills-

I think your statement about Folsom trying to hide bad things that happen in the city is way off base. It is policy by the Folsom Police Department that suicides are not made public to protect the family and the deceased. In fact, it is common practice that the news media does not report suicides either. Unless there are other circumstances involved, i.e murder/suicide, the common suicide will not be made public. Let's try to stay away from the conspiracy theory that many of you people thrive on.......you are correct with one statement, Folsom is just like any other city....but much safer

I have to agree....it is none of my business if someone in Folsom commits suicide. I would think that a family would not want that broadcast all over the media and they deserve that privacy.

[supermom]

This post doesn't really have much to do with the main thread, except one thing. The death of a child.

Last year a coworker of mine had a 14 year old who died suddenly. He had just completed 8th grade. My coworker asked us to go to her son's service. I never had met her son, though I had met one of her other children. A good many people from the community went to the service.

There is nothing more raw that lying a young soul down to sleep for the final time.

When at last I left the service, I desperately wanted to hold my own children and convince myself that all is well. I think that is a normal reaction, but I was truly fearful of letting my children out of my sight for awhile.

So I went home and picked my kids up from the family. Only my family wouldn't let me take the children. I wasn't weeping yet I must have been showing strong emotion. My family asked me to go for a walk until I was calmer; they felt young children should not be touched by grief that is far removed from them....

I guess what I'm saying is that even if you did not know [A] ,as a human the pain of loss is still there. Some people deal with loss in different ways. Speculation is a normal reaction as is anger and sudden crying or even irrational fear.

I think this thread should be changed to a tribute for [A]. Speculation should be left alone. Let the police do their jobs, and let the family and children in our community grieve in a respectful and safe haven here on this forum.

[tessieca]

Andre's friends who have found the site are already turning it into a tribute to him. I'm glad they have a means of expressing themselves in a very difficult situation. Nicely done Phyllis and Steve. I have shed tears for the grieving survivors and the young man I never knew.

[asbestoshills]

asbestoshills-

I think your statement about Folsom trying to hide bad things that happen in the city is way off base. It is policy by the Folsom Police Department that suicides are not made public to protect the family and the deceased. In fact, it is common practice that the news media does not report suicides either. Unless there are other circumstances involved, i.e murder/suicide, the common suicide will not be made public. Let's try to stay away from the conspiracy theory that many of you people thrive on.......you are correct with one statement, Folsom is just like any other city....but much safer

To ALL: Let me clarify my point.....When I say hide things, I should have said under-reported some crimes in this town or not at all....Why is it splashed over the front news when the Folsom police catch a would be car bandit in my neighborhood by the way, but not when there are other incidences? I completely agree that naming suicide victims is unecessary, however, reporting the deaths as a suicde with anonymity can help the community deal with issues facing our town..This town has many CHPs, police officers and correctional officers. Did anyone read about the high incidences of suicide among the CHP that was reported in the Sacbee? All of you have been reading this forum and saying the name of the person who committed suicide freely with no thought of the family. Why don't you quit talking about how sad it is and go start a hotline for suicide (if this was the form of death) or raise money for the funeral instead of just endlessly wallowing in someone else's grief. Go put some flowers at the site, do something besides just gossiping...AND yes, Folsom is safer than many towns, in Califronia, but not safer than many towns outside of California. It's all relative. When you live in an upper-middle class area, you usually have less crime. Folsom is a great town and I will express my opinion as I see fit and not what is politically correct.

[Eric]

I don't know what else to say, but RIP

[Elk Grove Guest]

My thoughts and prayers are with the Anderson family and your community today. We are all saddened by the news of this young man's death and hope you all find a way to heal through positive interaction with each other.

- Condolences from the Elk Grove Community

[brown]

His drum set will never rattle the walls again . . . EVER

I used to get annoyed hearing those drums...now I'd give anything to hear them again

[Andrea Vanderpol]

To ALL: Let me clarify my point.....When I say hide things, I should have said under-reported some crimes in this town or not at all....Why is it splashed over the front news when the Folsom police catch a would be car bandit in my neighborhood by the way, but not when there are other incidences? I completely agree that naming suicide victims is unecessary, however, reporting the deaths as a suicde with anonymity can help the community deal with issues facing our town..This town has many CHPs, police officers and correctional officers. Did anyone read about the high incidences of suicide among the CHP that was reported in the Sacbee? All of you have been reading this forum and saying the name of the person who committed suicide freely with no thought of the family. Why don't you quit talking about how sad it is and go start a hotline for suicide (if this was the form of death) or raise money for the funeral instead of just endlessly wallowing in someone else's grief. Go put some flowers at the site, do something besides just gossiping...AND yes, Folsom is safer than many towns, in Califronia, but not safer than many towns outside of California. It's all relative. When you live in an upper-middle class area, you usually have less crime. Folsom is a great town and I will express my opinion as I see fit and not what is politically correct.

I agree!

[old soldier]

I kinda see two basic human traits. the first being compassion for the terrible loss of a young person. the second is courosity as to what really happened. it started out as possible murder which would scare anybody and the police sort of set that straight

if it was a suicide then everybody should just back off. a lot of folks which includes old soldier is wordering if the real story will come out here or in the paper.

its sorta a repeat process which happened with the terrible accident and the fact finding on the forum got helped by a few leaks from the police folks.

I am glad to see that compassion is out front of the courosity

[folsom500]

I used to get annoyed hearing those drums...now I'd give anything to hear them again

I would too ---

[neighborofmany]

I would too ---

Has any thought been put into how the immmediate community can help ease the families sorrows and/or those who live in Natoma Station? As many of you who have added your comments to this forum are friends of the deceased's family, can you provide any ideas?

Would this be a good time for the neighborhood to get to know one another and begin to form active neighborhoood watch programs and/or support groups? Maybe that would be an avenue for neighbors to watch out for each other and our families as well as provide an outlet to share concerns and thoughts.

Any ideas or thoughts about this idea?

[bordercolliefan]

I can't say anything more than everyone has already said about how terrible this event is. So shocking and sad. It is moving to see so many people honoring his memory by gathering at the park last night and this afternoon.

I think that when such a shocking event occurs, it is both natural and appropriate that the community looks for answers and seeks an explanation of what happened. That does not dishonor the young man's memory: if anything, it may give us the knowledge to prevent similar tragedies.

With that in mind, aside from being just sad, I have two thoughts about this situation:

1. I was told by someone who seemed knowledgeable that the police are already quite sure of what occurred, and that a police officer stated they have "seen this before" and it is related to the choking game. --If this is true, it seems unlikely to me that a young teen would go to a dark, isolated part of the park by himself at night and undertake such a complicated scheme (the ropes, tree climbing, feet-tying, computer, etc.) alone. That would just be a really strange thing to do. This seems more like something someone might try as an experiment with friends. I wonder if the police are seeking other kids who may have been present when this occurred. --That leads to a further question of the moral state of kids who would know about this and not seek help for their friend...

2. What can be done to stop kids from doing the choking game?? I wonder if it is addressed in the schools at all. It seems as dangerous, or more so, than drugs-- apparently kids don't realize that when the time comes to stop being choked, they may not have the conscious faculties to extricate themselves...

[Mrs.D]

Has any thought been put into how the immmediate community can help ease the families sorrows and/or those who live in Natoma Station? As many of you who have added your comments to this forum are friends of the deceased's family, can you provide any ideas?

Would this be a good time for the neighborhood to get to know one another and begin to form active neighborhoood watch programs and/or support groups? Maybe that would be an avenue for neighbors to watch out for each other and our families as well as provide an outlet to share concerns and thoughts.

Any ideas or thoughts about this idea?

I would like to help out if I can, but I am not sure how or what to do. If anyone knows how we can help, please let us know.