133 replies to this topic

[Steve Heard]

I have a pretty good idea who your source is for the information about the boy talking about the fights planned at the gas station. That would have been a conversation on the tuesday after the fight correct?

I know many of the boys involved in trying to goad others into fighting and have been working for a while now on stopping their ridiculous behavior.

I don't recall the date. I know that I was talking with someone about it, having just read about it, and that person informed me of the conversation with the boy, which had taken place the week prior to the incident.

Ragtop, I don't think anyone in this world can convince you that the mom was wrong. I am all for truth, justice and the American way, but also for common sense. If your kid says, "Mom or Dad, will you drive me to the gas station to fight this guy? You see, he's a bully, and I've been bullied too long. He is bigger and stronger than me, but I am willing to accept the consequences of my actions."

I'd hope you'd have the sense to say, "Are you crazy!? What kind of parent would drive their kid to a fight? Son, let's go home and talk about this."

[old soldier]

In my day, if I had got backed up against the wall by an old bully and I thought I could take him I would go with some of my friends to his hangout at the gas station and we would have talked and if the bully threw a punch then there would be a fight

no moms around. but in the era of the soccer mom, kids are used to being driven everywhere and thats a consezuence in this case.

its the american way to hope a bully gets his but kicked and that might have been behind the reason for the da to pass on the case

I don't know what the folsom pd might have done do make the da folks mad because they could of said just no thanks but it seemed like they had an ax to grind with this case

the final thing is the young bully fighter who got arrested shows the courage (without mom being there) and might have the traits to be a policeman when he grows up and I hope this experience would sour him on that kind of future.

[k.w.]

You have no idea how I am dealing with my son and this incident. I have kept my mouth closed and dealt with my son in the privacy of my own home, and declined comment to the newspapers. You know why - because it needs to go away for both children involved. However, I dont appreciate you making my son out to be a monster. No, he is not getting boxing lessons because I am not encouraging him to fight. He is in trouble for agreeing to meet this boy at the gas station, he is in trouble for any unkind words he might have called this boy (however the reports say he laughed at a name someone else called this boy). In addition, I am in close contact with the school to monitor his actions. You do not know my son and he is not the monster you are making him out to be. In addition - my son takes the bus home on most occasions so he does not "hang" out at the gas station.
The whole thing was bad choices for all involved, including my son. However, you do not know enough about my family nor my son to pass judgement.

Please - for the sake of the children let this go. We as adults should not carry on. I could sit here and express my thought on the whole thing and what I think is true and not true in the situation, however I believe that to fuel a fire that has gotten way out of control.

He might have made a few bad choices but he is NOT a bully and he did not ATTACK anybody.

Would you still say "if the boy got hurt too damn bad" if one of them was seriously injured - maybe ended up in the hospital? I certainly hope not.

Geez - people.......for all involved, lets just let this go..............and TRUST (since its such the topic of conversation) that my son is being dealt with for his part in this - as he would have been if I would have rec'd a call from the school before this all even happened.

I am happy to reply.

If the boy who threw the first punch got hurt, then it's just to damn bad. He's a fine example of todays youth, bullying kids at school, provoking a fight off campus, having his best friends girlfriend prepared to film it, and then in front of an adult, attacking her child. Unfortunetely for him in this case he picked on a kid who knew how to fight and his got his arse kicked in front of l his friends. There are certainly discussions of this going on in that boys life and I can only imagine how his family is dealing with it. Wouldn't be to surprised if his father is looking into some boxing lessons for him. If you are gonna be a bully you better be able to back it up.

If the kid who was defending himself got hurt, well that's the breaks, when you flip the switch and choose to fight instead of walking away, you have to deal with the consequences. You might win, you might lose and you always run the risk of injury when you fight. I'm all for kids learning how to fight it out as long as it is with fisticuffs. Call me old school but this current wussification of American boys is getting way out of hand. The world is a violent place and we do our sons a disservice by putting blinders on and thinking that words will solve every problem.

idunno,

can you share with us your source for direct quotes like "the DA did tell the police that a crime was commited"? I'd be interested to hear just how far up the food chain that source is.

The sources for my information are the boys family, the boy himself, my sons friends, some of whom admit to bullying, taunting and intimidating the boy over the course of several weeks, and their parents. All of whom are continually discussing and debating this event to prevent another incident.

Stevethedad,

I have a pretty good idea who your source is for the information about the boy talking about the fights planned at the gas station. That would have been a conversation on the tuesday after the fight correct?

I know many of the boys involved in trying to goad others into fighting and have been working for a while now on stopping their ridiculous behavior.

[supermom]

You have no idea how I am dealing with my son and this incident. I have kept my mouth closed and dealt with my son in the privacy of my own home, and declined comment to the newspapers. You know why - because it needs to go away for both children involved. However, I dont appreciate you making my son out to be a monster. No, he is not getting boxing lessons because I am not encouraging him to fight. He is in trouble for agreeing to meet this boy at the gas station, he is in trouble for any unkind words he might have called this boy (however the reports say he laughed at a name someone else called this boy). In addition, I am in close contact with the school to monitor his actions. You do not know my son and he is not the monster you are making him out to be. In addition - my son takes the bus home on most occasions so he does not "hang" out at the gas station.
The whole thing was bad choices for all involved, including my son. However, you do not know enough about my family nor my son to pass judgement.

Please - for the sake of the children let this go. We as adults should not carry on. I could sit here and express my thought on the whole thing and what I think is true and not true in the situation, however I believe that to fuel a fire that has gotten way out of control.

He might have made a few bad choices but he is NOT a bully and he did not ATTACK anybody.

Would you still say "if the boy got hurt too damn bad" if one of them was seriously injured - maybe ended up in the hospital? I certainly hope not.

Geez - people.......for all involved, lets just let this go..............and TRUST (since its such the topic of conversation) that my son is being dealt with for his part in this - as he would have been if I would have rec'd a call from the school before this all even happened.

well dealing with your son in the privacy of your own home is great. I applaud you on that, as many parents will turn a blind eye on their boy fighting and claim that to do anything else is the wussification of a new generation. However, the event didn't happen in the privacy of YOUR home. The event happened in broad daylight in view of any public spectator who chose to view it. But you are right. The boy does not need to be vilified anymore. HIS PARENTS SHOULD BE.

[Ragtop78]

I freely admit that the mom was wrong to drive her son to the gas station. Maybe you all would have a different view of the situation if she had taken her sons hand and walked him over to the gas station? As I have stated before she could have gone directly to the school office and addresed the problem.

However, because of a breakdown within our schools she knew that the school couldn't help. The problems with ongoing bullying at Sutter Middle School are well documented need to be addressed by the school and the district before more incidents occur.

The point I am making is that she DID NOT DRIVE HIM THERE TO FIGHT. Yes, the son knew that there would be a boy there who wanted to fight him, so he went directly to his mother after school for her help to peacefully resolve an ongoing bully problem.

No matter what was said between those two boys that day, the "other" boy resorted to violence and struck first. He commited the crime of battery an got a well deserved beat down by a boy who knew how to defend himself.

My appologies to K.W. for having to read this again but it is truth and you cannot blind yourself to it. I cannot speak to the character of your son and I am certain that you as a family will get through this. The boys were already cool with the outcome of the fight a couple days later and I know there is no ill will felt toward your family by the other family. As a side note to K.W. you need to check your son's myspace page and surf to the pages of his friends for a deeper understanding of what many of these kids think proper behavior is.

Out of respect for K.W. and her family and the family of the mom and boy, I will officially sign off on this thread. I have said my piece and put my educated understanding of the event out there for the public to ruminate on.

Those of us that know the WHOLE story, know the TRUTH.

[tessieca]

He commited the crime of battery an got a well deserved beat down by a boy who knew how to defend himself.

You're as bad as the mom who did this. It doesn't matter if she drove, walked or carried him piggy back. You can't fool us that her sole purpose wasn't so that her son could fight this kid, who apparently had the nerve to laugh at him when someone called him "emotional." That's not bullying. It's name calling. If you and this mom put as much attention into teaching this boy about how to live amongst others and how to deal with people who aren't always nice, he would probably turn out to be a good kid. As it is, it appears the influences in his life are more likely to doom him to a life of antisocialism likely coupled with further violence.

[dontBfooled]

Are we seriously going to get into a spitting match over "sources". Ragtop78 you win...yours is the biggest....we're all impressed.

The bottom line is this:

• If this situation required these boys to work it out, a functional parent sets something up in the administration offices at the school with the other boy and his parents so they could VERBALLY work it out and agree to play nice in the sandbox...or in the event of the breakdown of administration of Sutter Middle School...what about taking her son to his house and giving HIS PARENTS a chance to be involved in a DISCUSSION.

But my goodness we can't USE OUR WORDS, like we've been taught, because then we will be teased for being a chicken. Hmmm....let's think being called a chicken vs. a media circus, which is worse ...

• REGARDLESS of the events between these kids leading up to this fight, it IS NOT okay to sit and just observe your child inflicting harm on another. When our kids are toddlers and they bite a friend, we interject and tell them to stop. This is the same principal but at a more offensive and incomprehensive level. Why wasn't she acting as a mediator and encouraging them to talk it out...afterall that was her "intent."
• HE STRUCK FIRST..I'm sorry no one except a limited few (and even fewer who haven't tweaked their story by now) saw how this began. But knowing one child is bigger than the other...I have a hard time buying that the smaller kid was the bully. Seriously, in our own childhood, movies, etc...do we recall the bully being scrawny?? Hell no, there big kids that scare the crap out of us with initimidation of size. If we are going to speculate (I am classifying everything besides adult wittness statements speculation at this point) that this other kids threw the first punch...I'm guessing it's because this bigger kids was making a b-line right for him.
• SUBMIT vs HIT so we have heard in martial arts the term "submit" means to take control of an opponent who is attacking you. It would be really interesting to know what "submit" tactics look like and if leaders in the martial arts arena would approve of the ones that were used in comparison to the submission tactics taught along with the practice of respect and discipline.
• WHY STOP THE PARENT WHO WAS BREAKING IT UP..if the goal was to let these boys work it out...then someone with some sanity comes along and is breaking it up..why did she stop her? And according to that woman's TV interview and the gas station owner's statements in the Bee ...this "mom" blew a gasket...but wait she is a martial arts mom..her son was just trying to submit him..she wouldn't handle herself like a Jerry Springer guest...the martial arts...the martial arts..the respect the discipline...DO YOU SMELL WHAT I SMELL???
• AND LIKE A GOOD AMBULANCE CHASER..the defense attorney is there...threatening to take "further action against the police". Why should we expect anything less? DONT BE FOOLED...just because the DA didn't have the spine to prosecute (it would require some skill so why would they??)..that doesn't mean this will get anywhere or that the police didn't do their jobs correctly. I heard this guy on KFBK saying the police were incompetent...PAAHHHLLEEAAASSSSE. It has nothing to do with the police and the way they did their job and everything to do with Jan Scully not wanting the media hype. Chalk it up to luck and move on.

Our society should recognize that violence breeds ignorance and ignorance will be our demise if we do not take a stand.

I WILL NOT stand by and have people trash the police of Folsom, who protect and serve and put their lives on the line every day to make sure the Folsom community is safe.

Respectfully -

dontBfooled

[DrKoz23]

It probably won't help much... but we can show our support of the Folsom PD by showing our displeasure with the DA. Contact her (or probably one of her aides) at the following link.

http://www.da.saccou...ain/contact.htm

OR

Here is an email address on the website...

dawebmail@saccounty.net

[Steve Heard]

I freely admit that the mom was wrong to drive her son to the gas station. Maybe you all would have a different view of the situation if she had taken her sons hand and walked him over to the gas station? As I have stated before she could have gone directly to the school office and addresed the problem.

However, because of a breakdown within our schools she knew that the school couldn't help. The problems with ongoing bullying at Sutter Middle School are well documented need to be addressed by the school and the district before more incidents occur.

The point I am making is that she DID NOT DRIVE HIM THERE TO FIGHT. Yes, the son knew that there would be a boy there who wanted to fight him, so he went directly to his mother after school for her help to peacefully resolve an ongoing bully problem.

No matter what was said between those two boys that day, the "other" boy resorted to violence and struck first. He commited the crime of battery an got a well deserved beat down by a boy who knew how to defend himself.

My appologies to K.W. for having to read this again but it is truth and you cannot blind yourself to it. I cannot speak to the character of your son and I am certain that you as a family will get through this. The boys were already cool with the outcome of the fight a couple days later and I know there is no ill will felt toward your family by the other family. As a side note to K.W. you need to check your son's myspace page and surf to the pages of his friends for a deeper understanding of what many of these kids think proper behavior is.

Out of respect for K.W. and her family and the family of the mom and boy, I will officially sign off on this thread. I have said my piece and put my educated understanding of the event out there for the public to ruminate on.

Those of us that know the WHOLE story, know the TRUTH.

I have a young friend at Sutter. I asked if he knew about the fight. "I was there!" he said. He was unaware any arrest had been made, but this is what he told me.

Boy number 1 (the one whose mother drove him to the fight), got into it verbally with boy number 2 at school. Boy number 2 said, "Let's settle it after school at Chirag (the gas station) _______.

I asked if Boy 1 was being bullied, and he said no. He said that boy 1 is a friend of his, but he picks on people, and was even picking on my friend a couple of days before while he was playing basketball, telling him that he sucked every time he took a shot. He said, "He picks on some kids, and some kids pick on him." He said it was the same for the other kid.

Word got around about the fight, and after school, my friend and a few other kids went over to the gas station to watch.

He doesn't remember who swung first, but boy number 1 was on top of boy number 2, with mom yelling 'hit him'.

A lady came over to break it up, and the mom got out of the car and said, "This is none of your business, let them fight."

So, that's the story from an eye witness, with no axe to grind.

[dontBfooled]

I have a young friend at Sutter. I asked if he knew about the fight. "I was there!" he said. He was unaware any arrest had been made, but this is what he told me.

Boy number 1 (the one whose mother drove him to the fight), got into it verbally with boy number 2 at school. Boy number 2 said, "Let's settle it after school at Chirag (the gas station) _______.

I asked if Boy 1 was being bullied, and he said no. He said that boy 1 is a friend of his, but he picks on people, and was even picking on my friend a couple of days before while he was playing basketball, telling him that he sucked every time he took a shot. He said, "He picks on some kids, and some kids pick on him." He said it was the same for the other kid.

Word got around about the fight, and after school, my friend and a few other kids went over to the gas station to watch.

He doesn't remember who swung first, but boy number 1 was on top of boy number 2, with mom yelling 'hit him'.

A lady came over to break it up, and the mom got out of the car and said, "This is none of your business, let them fight."

So, that's the story from an eye witness, with no axe to grind.

So not only did she encourage her son to fight, she is teaching him how to lie and be dishonest. The fact that she is engaging herself in these behaviors models the fact she considers them acceptable not only for her child but also for adults. That is spectacular.

So when this "mom" brings up her frivilous law suit against the police (according to what her defense attorney said he was "considering") hopefully people like these other witnesses will be brave enough to step forward and prevent this woman from getting one cent.

It will be a said statement about the state of our society if she gets paid for ignorance, bad parenting and irresponsible behavior. I hope the Bee will be as quick to cover any lawsuit she brings up as they were about her arrest.

Respectfully -

dontBfooled

[supermom]

So not only did she encourage her son to fight, she is teaching him how to lie and be dishonest. The fact that she is engaging herself in these behaviors models the fact she considers them acceptable not only for her child but also for adults. That is spectacular.

So when this "mom" brings up her frivilous law suit against the police (according to what her defense attorney said he was "considering") hopefully people like these other witnesses will be brave enough to step forward and prevent this woman from getting one cent.

It will be a said statement about the state of our society if she gets paid for ignorance, bad parenting and irresponsible behavior. I hope the Bee will be as quick to cover any lawsuit she brings up as they were about her arrest.

Respectfully -

dontBfooled

Aye, but....lets not forget the coffee lawsuit. these are sad times.

[supermom]

So Folsom is off the hook as being known for the mom who drives her kids to fights....

 

http://www.miamihera...le19041849.html

 

 

See! it happens in Florida, too.

 

What an upstanding moment for all to remember after the polaroids go dull and the alzheimers kicks in.

[ducky]

So Folsom is off the hook as being known for the mom who drives her kids to fights....

 

http://www.miamihera...le19041849.html

 

 

See! it happens in Florida, too.

 

What an upstanding moment for all to remember after the polaroids go dull and the alzheimers kicks in.

 

If you Google "Parents Encouraging children to fight," its, unfortunately, not all that rare an occurrence.

[supermom]

See, I thought this would be an interesting branch off from the whole bullying thing. 

 

Parents condoning and transporting students for beat downs on their peers is definitely a form of parental bullying if you ask me.