QUOTE(chris v @ Dec 19 2007, 08:51 AM)
So basically, what you are saying is I have no backbone and can be persuaded into anything because she is a spoiled brat who gets everything. Not in this lifetime. While I do tend to get very set in my ways, the more I think about stuff, the more I can see the other side. Andrea is a very strong willed woman but at no point has she ever forced anything on me. She is not the type of woman that will just sit back and be quiet about stuff, she will always voice her opinion no matter what. If anything I am the one who is extremely stubborn. Quite honestly because I get so set in my ways once I decide something I never even think about it again. I have been thinking about this topic a lot in this last week....
It's not possible to know someone on a talk board....so I used the word "SOUNDS".
My wife is not at all reserved or meek; she is very strong willed too. So, I know a little bit about strong willed women.
My comments were to give honest input, as was the intention of this topic being on the board in the first place. I'm sure you had expected some comments which were not to your liking, weren't you?
Just going by the your posts, I had an impression that maybe wasn't correct, or maybe it was...I have no way of knowing.
However, this is such an important decision, and that is why you two are debating if you should have another baby or should not. It's not like going out and buying a car.....this will be a human being. And although I'm sure you know that, it does seem that there are certain people in this world, that idealize having babies, more than they think about how they will support them and the changes it will make in their lives.
I knew a couple who had two sons, and then 12 years later had two girls. This was because his wife felt her kids would soon be gone and she couldn't handle that thought, so wanted more babies. Did it turn out good for them? In their case no. But that was their case. Had they been a more stable couple, I'm sure they would have coped and been fine. But, she had some issues she had never dealt with and sooner or later, they affected the marriage.
This is a very personal topic, which the two of you have brought to the board and which some of us may be faced with at some time in our lives. Some of us have marriages with people that are more in tune with what we want and think, so no convincing is necessary, most the time. When people are in conflict about things, it's tends to point to underlying problems. One party or the other may have some issues that they aren't ware of, which need to be addressed. For example, are either of you feeling old and like you will be alone after your son is grown? Is there a feeling that having another child will make you feel young again? That may sound far fetched, but many people have these feelings and they are worth thinking about.
But I guess what bothered me is this thing with a partner being of the mind they think they know what is better than the other partner. Sort of like they have the answers and know everything, so they do the major thinking in their relationship.
For instance....why is it so important to your wife what color socks you wear???? You see, that right there is being too dominant to me. I don't tell my wife what to wear and she darn well knows not to tell me what color socks I should wear. There just sounds like too much of a power thing going on here, between you and your wife. She SOUNDS like she wants complete control over what you do. Does she buy your clothes? Does she tell you how you should cut your hair?....What sort of shoes to wear?....How much beer to drink or what kind? I mean really Dude, she tells you what COLOR SOCKS TO WEAR???? You must be really unsure about socks! And why is THAT such a big deal to your wife, anyway?
Maybe I'm just a dumb arse man that feels like a woman should not be telling me what to do, to the point I'm wearing the color of socks she wants. But if you like that, knock yourself out! I know I could never get away with telling my wife what she should wear....no way! Do you tell your wife what to wear????
I'm sure that most here don't really have any vested interest in whether or not you and your wife have more children, but you DID pose the question and so, posters gave you what you wanted, did they not? You can use the input to be offended and allow it to get to your ego, or you can use it how it was supposed to be used....as something to reflect upon. And that does it for me, really, I'm done here. I wasn't trying to be mean, just honest.
As a side note, if your wife is that good at convincing people of what is good for them, she REALLY needs to get into politics, because we are in bad need of some changes in this country. LOL!
