247 replies to this topic

[swmr545]

For those of you who keep asking why gay people have to come out of the closet, why can't we just stay in and keep our homosexuality to ourselves, I will give you my reason for doing so, but first, how many of you can live your ENTERE life lying to all the people you know, love, and trust?

As stated before, I knew that I was gay in the 5th grade, but never came to terms with it until 8th grade. Before then, I knew I was attracted to guys but didn't know what it was called or all about.

I came out to my family 2 weeks before my Freshmen year started.

I came out of the closet because staying in was just eating away. I don't know how many of you said "yes" to being able to lie about who you are for your entire life, but I know that I can't.

When you are constantly told, since childhood, by your family, clergy, friends, strangers, etc. that being attracted to someone of the same sex doesn't do much positive for you. They say they love you, yet you know they don't because of what they say about gay people. You try to fit in with what they and society calls "normal" and it just eats away at you on the inside.

When you say the words, "I'm gay." and in your heart you are ok with it, things start to change for the better. You begin to look at yourself in a whole new light. You are no longer ashamed of who you and and who you love. You know that being gay is not as wrong as people want you to believe.

Then comes the process of telling the people you know. Why would/should you tell them? I did because I was tired of lying to them (and that's the same reason for most people). Yet imagine living in a world that is dominated by people that are different from you, and they are FORCING you to live the way they want you you to live.

You have to have a girlfriend, you must get married, have kids, etc. Yet you want a boyfriend, then get married, and then have the kids. Someone constantly tries to get you to go with someone of the opposite sex, and you are sick and tired of it.

Coming out of the closet is one of the most empowering life changes many gay people go through.

Yet, we can't have an open relationship like many of you do. We can't walk down the street holding the hand of our partner w/o hearing some sort of discriminating comment. We can't come out of a club with someone with the voice in the back of our heads saying "what if he's the straight one who will kill me." We can't enter a marriage for the sake of our children, who are being brought up in a home where the parents aren't married.

Many people say that gays are unfit parents, yet we have been raising children for how many years now? People say that our children will grow up to be gay, yet why am I gay if I was raised by straight parents? People say that our love is not that which is fit for a marriage becuase we love someone of the same sex. Since when has love in a relationship been defined only for a man and a woman?

It's not a matter of "you just haven't found the right girl yet", becuase then for all those straight men, "you just haven't found the right man yet."

So yes, I will continue to tell people that I am gay. I will walk down the street holding the hand of another man, I will be proud of who I am. I will not allow ANYONE to place me back into the closet. I fought long and hard to get to this point in my life, and no one will be placing me back into a life of lies.

[swmr545]

That last post is a bit scattered, I apologize. I'm not entirely here mentally right now...too much stress

[cybertrano]

Where are they then?

There are way more than 3 gay people on this forum. 

The gay thing was brought up during the last 2004 election and the people spoke loudly against it which help to defeat the Dem.. It's not a civil rights issue. Even the African American population were offended when the gays tried to painted their struggle as civil rights. Having black skin don't give you a choice, but gay does. I can turn gay tomorrow and nobody even notice.

Here is some quotes:
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The great untold story of the 2004 presidential elections was that while black evangelicals voted overwhelmingly for Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, they also gave Bush the cushion he needed to bag Ohio and the White House. But that support did not come about by accident or chance. There were early warning signs that might happen. The same polls that showed black’s prime concern was with bread and butter issues and that Kerry was the guy that could deliver the most for them, also showed that a sizeable number of blacks ranked abortion, gay marriage, and school prayer as priority issues for them. Their concern for these issues didn’t come anywhere close to that of white evangelicals. However, it was still higher than the concern the general voting public had for these issues.

A Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies poll in 2004 found that blacks by a far bigger margin than the overall population opposed gay marriage. That raised a few eyebrows among some political pundits, but there were much earlier signs of blacks relentless hostility to gays and gay rights. A survey that measured black attitudes toward gays published in Jet Magazine in 1994 found that a sizable number of blacks were suspicious and scornful of gays.


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Also, gay people have legitimate recognition, discrimination and civil rights issues that are ongoing.  It's really really not about trying to gross you people out. 

Your last sentence scares me and leads me to believe they have a long way to go until they're recognized as just people who happen to be different, which is what they want.

[swmr545]

Civil Rights: Of or relating to a political movement, especially during the 1950s and 1960s, devoted to securing equal opportunity and treatment for members of minority groups.

And you are forgetting that there are many black people that are in support of same rights for gay people and do consider this a civil rights issue.

And I chose to be gay the same day you chose to be straight.

[swmr545]

What the Rainbow Flag Means

[benning]

Where are they then? 
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Here's how I see it

We've got 1500+ forum members but only about 60 'active posters' (you know who you are) so we should have about 6 gay 'active posters'.

The other three? Well maybe they're still in the closet and we'll see them on the 11th or maybe they just think it's none of our damn businesss.

[cybertrano]

Still no concrete proof benningbabe. Making up your own statistical model doesn't count.

If you say there are 10% of the general population who are gay, then why there are about 20% of the population of San Francisco gay according to your model? Because SF is a gay haven and Folsom is not. AND we don't care.

[Chad Vander Veen]

maybe they just think it's none of our damn businesss.

Yeah. If so, God bless you mysterious gaymen for not constantly posting about it. I support whatever you do at home and I appreciate the fact you don't have an overwhleming need to endlessly talk about your gayness.

Thank you.

[benning]

you're right , Cyber. I am making it all up, or as I prefer to call it ...speculating

NO matter though, it's the people who are complaining about so much gay discussions who are driving the discussions.

Every time any one of these three men begin a post with gay as an issue, you guys jump all over them, keep bouncing it to the top, etc. Also look at the number of views to posts and you'll see they're popular somehow. I don't get it really but if people really wanted it to be less prominent, they would quit adding posts.

[MSgt]

Yeah. If so, God bless you mysterious gaymen for not constantly posting about it. I support whatever you do at home and I appreciate the fact you don't have an overwhleming need to endlessly talk about your gayness.

Thank you.

I wish I would have said that

[benning]

The curious thing is, if people who are upset acted more like the silent gay people that they admire so much, then these topics would drop out slowly but surely.

[cybertrano]

I was a victim of prejudice when I grew up in Florida. I can always assume most Whities hate me. I can always create Asian Pride forum topics to spread the words "Whities Hate Asian Guys". Its only effect is that it will irritate the f...k out of the community. And the bottomline is that they don't care about my struggle.

[cybertrano]

But it DOESN"T work that way. We try THAT method and it only gets worse.

The curious thing is, if people who are upset acted more like the silent gay people that they admire so much, then these topics would drop out slowly but surely.

[FatCat]

Yeah. If so, God bless you mysterious gaymen for not constantly posting about it. I support whatever you do at home and I appreciate the fact you don't have an overwhleming need to endlessly talk about your gayness.

Thank you.

ditto---that was very well put, and something the majority here agree with---

[Farley]

you're right , Cyber. I am making it all up,  or as I prefer to call it ...speculating

NO matter though, it's the people who are complaining about so much gay discussions who are driving the discussions. 

Every time any one of these three men begin a post with gay as an issue, you guys jump all over them, keep bouncing it to the top, etc.  Also look at the number of views to posts and you'll see they're popular somehow.  I don't get it really but if people really wanted it to be less prominent, they would quit adding posts.

That's right benning. Everytime we start a post look at the number of viewers and posters. For example the thread "Taken Aback" that I started this past summer really took off. 244 replies and 4,807 Views

In this case as in most, it is not the gay posters who are keeping the thread going. Also I think you are correct in saying that somehow these threads re: "gay" are of some interest to viewers as the numbers of readers really takes off on these threads. One can look back through the archives to see this.

Often the anti-gay posts are the most enlightening because what is said usually says more about the poster than the subject.