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#121 camay2327

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Posted 02 November 2016 - 08:01 AM

DUCKY - 2

 

Ducky.jpg

Don’t argue with an
idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

  Ducky.jpg

Wouldn’t it be nice if
whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?
AMEN!

Ducky.jpg

Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
A completely brilliant
question!

Ducky.jpg

Wouldn’t you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go,

But FAT cells live forever.

Ducky.jpg

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Another completely brilliant
question!

Ducky.jpg

Bumper sticker of the
year: ‘If you can read this, thank a teacher – and since it’s in English, thank a
soldier’

And remember:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it
goes.

Ya’ just might want to pass this along...


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#122 (Folsom Trails)

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Posted 03 November 2016 - 09:33 AM

Dr. Seuss

 

I do not like you down my shirt,

I do not like you up my skirt,

I do not like you near my rump,

I do not like you, Mr. Trump

 

:lmao:



#123 (Folsom Trails)

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Posted 13 November 2016 - 07:11 PM

Two Irish guys walk out of a bar. Hey, it could happen.......stole that from Dana Carvey in his new special on Netflix. It was a great show. He is still at the top of his game...He does a great Trump too...also Bush and Obama...really good stuff

#124 camay2327

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Posted 17 November 2016 - 01:25 PM

WHEN THE MUSIC STOPPED

 

Although this happened in 2007 in Iraq, in view of our “professional sport stars actions” I feel it is very appropriate today.

 

 

For those who are unaware:
 
At all military base theaters, the National Anthem is played before the movie begins. 
 
This is written from a Chaplain in Iraq:
 
I recently attended a showing of 'Superman 3' here at  LSA Anaconda. We have a large auditorium that we use for movies as well as memorial services and other large gatherings.  As is the custom at all military bases, we stood to attention when The National Anthem began before the main feature.  All was going well until three-quarters of the way through The National Anthem, the music stopped.
 
Now, what would happen if this occurred with 1,000 18-to-22-year-olds back in the States?  I imagine that there would be hoots, catcalls, laughter, a few rude comments, and everyone would sit down and yell for the movie to begin. Of course, that is, only if they had stood for The National Anthem in the first place.
 
Here in Iraq 1,000 soldiers continued to stand at attention, eyes fixed forward. The music started again, and the soldiers continued to quietly stand at attention.  Again, though, at the same point, the music stopped. What would you expect 1,000 soldiers standing at attention to do? Frankly, I expected some laughter, and everyone would eventually sit down and wait for the movie to start.
 
No!!. . . You could have heard a pin drop while every soldier continued to stand at attention.
 
Suddenly, there was a lone voice from the front of the auditorium, then a dozen voices, and soon the room was filled with the voices of a thousand soldiers, finishing where the recording left off:
"And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say, does that Star Spangled Banner yet wave,  o'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave."
 
It was the most inspiring moment I have had in Iraq, and I wanted you to know what kind of U.S. Soldiers are serving you! 
 
Remember them as they fight for us!

Pass this along as a reminder to others to be ever in prayer for all our soldiers, marines, sailors and airmen serving us here at home and abroad. 
 
Many have already paid the ultimate price.
 
Written by Chaplain Jim Higgins, LSA Anaconda is at the Ballad Airport in Iraq, north of Baghdad .
 
 
God Bless America and all of our troops serving throughout the world.

A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#125 camay2327

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Posted 08 December 2016 - 02:10 PM

A BIT OF HUMOR

______________________________ __________

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I would have given him 100%! Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too.
The teacher had no sense of humour.
Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5.. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7.. What looks like half an apple
* The other half

Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?
* Wet

Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has one hand.

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
*No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#126 camay2327

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Posted 16 December 2016 - 01:47 PM

Not a JOKE.   But so very, very true...

 

Men Shopping VS Women Shopping - YouTube

 

https://m.youtube.co...h?v=OrAytLkEBMU


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#127 (Folsom Trails)

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Posted 23 December 2016 - 06:43 AM

https://youtu.be/dmfDD1ERbfY



#128 camay2327

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Posted 20 February 2017 - 11:06 PM

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by The School of Psychiatry

at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without

a mistake. The average person over 50 years of age cannot do it!

 

1. This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is keep cat.

6. This is an cat.

7. This is old cat.

8. This is cart cat.

9. This is busy cat.

10. This is for cat.

11. This is forty cat.

12. This is seconds cat.

 

 

Not go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#129 camay2327

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 03:46 PM

Check this out.

 

Smiley's little Brass Band

 

This has to be the strangest, funniest and most unique  brass band you will ever see. Prepare to be amazed that they not only can perform this act, but the fact they even thought of it. Check the guy's expression.
 

http://www.wimp.com/brassband/


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#130 camay2327

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Posted 27 July 2017 - 02:16 PM

For Our Scots & Non-Scots Friends!!! 

 

 

 

A Glasgow man phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction

" £85 pounds for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.

" £85 quid! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"

"That's the normal charge," said the dentist.

"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?"

"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and would knock £15 pounds off."

"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without any anaesthetic?"

"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful.
But the price could drop by £20 pounds."

"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the
extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"

"It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist.
"I'll charge you £5 pounds but it will be traumatic."

"Och, now yer talkin' laddie!
It's a deal," said the Scotsman.
"Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then?"


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#131 camay2327

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Posted 27 July 2017 - 02:21 PM

Check this out. To all our Veterans out there...

 

Food City Salute

Released for the Fourth of July this Food City Salute advert is a tribute to both Veterans and Active Duty Military personnel for their service. I always find videos where not a single word is spoken to be interesting and this is one of the best I’ve seen. There’s no need for words as the emotions and feelings are so clearly displayed by the characters. Thank you to Food City for producing this and all Veterans and Active Duty Military!

 

 

https://biggeekdad.c...unch-pop-417694


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#132 camay2327

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Posted 27 July 2017 - 02:30 PM

Check this out.

 

WOW, privileged

 

Surely this is a joke...if not, our future is in the tank!
What a fool she is if this is real and not a spoof

 
A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#133 camay2327

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Posted 11 August 2017 - 10:09 AM

NOT A JOKE BUT I WILL PLACE IT HERE.....  CHECK IT OUT....

 

Subject: Baseball pitch
 
 
 

 

I found this enlightening. Most people are not aware that a secret service guy dressed as an umpire the night President Bush threw out the first pitch during the 2001 WS at Yankee Stadium. Great story. I'm surprised that none of the newspaper guys ever picked up on the "stranger" in the umpire's uniform. 

 

Remember this was just after 9/11 ................... 

 

If you don't do anything else today, just watch this .... it's great .. 
Opening World Series Pitch - almost 16 years ago. This is our country at one of its best moments....

This is a great clip, don't miss it!! 

Click Here http://stg.do/ZRVc


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-

#134 2 Aces

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Posted 11 August 2017 - 10:37 AM

Excellent... and he threw a perfect pitch!



#135 camay2327

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Posted 09 May 2018 - 01:10 PM

Top Eight Idiots of 2017...

 

1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

 

 

 


 

 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: 

 

 

 Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,

'Please come out and give yourself up.'

 

 

 


3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B?

 

 

 An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,

wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

 

 

 


 

 4. *THE GETAWAY! 

 

 

 A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and

worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

 

 

 


 5. *DID I SAY THAT? 

 

 

 Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot',

the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'

 

 

 


 

6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING? 

 

 

A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked.

'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

 

 

 


 

7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! 

 

 

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.

Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo...!!!)

 

 

 


 8. *THE GRAND FINALE! 

 

 

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in

almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect
working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the
boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

 


*Now remember, these are all true stories, these people vote and most have children!*


A VETERAN Whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount "up to and including their life". That is HONOR, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it. -Author unknown-




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