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To Spank Or Not To Spank


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#1 Steve Heard

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 09:31 AM

Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings is the latest NFL player to land in hot water, and he seemed genuinely dumbfounded as to why.

 

He took a 'switch', a branch of a tree, and whipped his 4 year old son with it, just as he had been whipped as a child.

 

This particular beating left his child injured.

 

What are your feelings on spankings? Were you spanked? Did you/do you spank your kids?

 

Do you believe or follow the biblical verse, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes?"

 

I was spanked as a child, rarely by my father, frequently by mom. The belt was her weapon of choice.

 

When my girls were small, I spanked them on a few occasions, never with anything but my hand, but today feel very differently about it and if were raising a child today, I'd wouldn't do it. 

 

Sensitive subject. How about you?


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#2 Carl G

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 09:56 AM

I stopped spanking my kids when I couldn't justify in my own mind the following situation:

 

"I am going to spank you to teach you that you cannot hit your brother."

 

When I was a kid I preferred the spanking option over other forms of punishment.  The spanking happened and five minutes later everything was great again.  I hated the punishments that took a long time to complete like taking all the dishes out of the cabinets, washing them and putting them back.



#3 4thgenFolsomite

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 10:05 AM

spank, don't beat.


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#4 Steve Heard

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 10:09 AM

A friend posted on Facebook a week or so ago that her son told he he'd forgotten his homework at school. She asked him, 'spanking or an hour in your room?' He said, 'I'll take the spanking'.

 

That told me 2 things; 1) like Carl said, the spanking is over quickly and the kid gets to move on, and 2) kids get spanked for the slightest of reasons.

 

Would forgetting one's homework be a spanking offense in most households?


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#5 4thgenFolsomite

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 10:41 AM

I would not spank someone for a civil offense, only a criminal one!  :)  seriously, forgetting homework is not a spanking offense.  hitting the dog or cat to the point of hurting them, for instance, requires a little attention getter, like a swift grab of the arm and a swat on the butt along with a firm, "that is not okay". 


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#6 cw68

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 11:58 AM

I have spanked my kids, probably once each, and it probably was a couple of swats with my hand, not all that hard and never done in anger.

The time for my son was when he ran out into the street in front of a UPS truck that had to slam on his breaks to avoid hitting him. I wanted him to have a really bad association with running into the street.

I don't remember the exact instance with my daughter, but it would have had to have been something dangerously defiant or the like.

The three of us talked about it this weekend; I asked them if they remembered being spanked at all. They both said no, so perhaps it didn't mean a thing an they never did something so bad again.

I got spanked (my Mom called it a "whoopin" which was a handful of swats with a wooden spoon) three times in my life. Each time I deserved it and I was never mad at my Mom. I can remember the last one clearly. I was in fifth grade and was being a horrible kid and completely disrespecting and playing my Mom in front of my friends. I learned never to do that again.

I got slapped one time; it was by my father and it was on the inner part of my thigh. Again, I remember it clearly. I was in 6th grade and I talked back to my Mom. Dad was sitting down drinking coffee with my Mom and reached over and slapped my thigh while saying, "You don't EVER talk to your Mom that way again. Do you understand?" I never did.

I think it's only effective when it's EXTREMELY rare, less because of whatever pain involved and more because it's a clear sign that the line to unacceptable has been crossed. Missed homework doesn't do it.

#7 chris v

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 01:33 PM

With my son we spanked him one time when he was little and it did absolutely nothing. He didn't even care. Luckily he's always been a kid you could talk to and he would listen. So words were always best with him. Tell him what he did wrong and he would tell you why it was wrong and what he would do instead next time. Easiest kid ever. My daughter is the complete opposite. She is a handful and when she gets excited can be very disrespectful to others. I usually find that as long as I am calm I can justify spanking her as I'm not doing it out of frustration. I don't do it to hurt so they're never that hard. It is really the only thing that will stop her when she's all wound up. It snaps her out of it immediately. Then she usually cries a little because she thinks it's mean. But I always follow up the spanking with other punishment. Usually some alone time in her room.

#8 The Average Joe

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 07:09 PM

Every child is different. I don't think there is any one right answer. Spanking and beating are two different things though.


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#9 supermom

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 08:32 PM

Did they say what type of injury the child suffered?

I got switched as a child. left red marks on me. Some left welts that would be gone in a few hours. 

 

I have seen beatings that included open wounds and bleeding profusely. I have seen kids mauled.  

 

But, people's agendas at times can skewer other peoples perceptions. So- when i read the footballer was confused and didnt believe his kid was injured... I have to ask... how severe was the child's injuries? a red mark? a welt? weeping contusions? They are all injuries. 

 

Im just curious if this is being blown way out of proportion - or if this was a beating. 

 

I learned two things with my kids.. A) they both needed physical discipline a few times growing up. B) I was not the best person to do it, and neither was anyhting that was in my hand. 

Well ok, I learned one other thing: I learned to reserve 'spankings' for emergencies: like getting their attention. ie: my kid literally throwing a fit in the street and nearly got hit by a car. S smack in the face brought the little child's reality back into focus.  Corporal punishment due to corporal abuses were immediate. Damn straight. You think the electric chair is gonna not happen because my kid was never taught pain hurts? and three, abusing the mother in the house either verbally or physically is immediate grounds for an immediate mouth pop. or butt swat. 

 

But switches? oh no. I think that is excessive. much like caning a child. I think that punishment is more about emotionally connecting through shock circuitry to rewire their little hearts and minds- than about over powering them. ( no i do mean actual electric shocking- God please dont do that to your kid ). 

 

nowadays my kids are both bigger than me. but i can use one finger to pull their shirts to me and lower their heads to my height, and give them a good earful. And at that age, language is a more powerful tool to interject your values, anyway.



#10 Deb aka Resume Lady

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Posted 15 September 2014 - 09:40 PM

A paddling on the butt not done in anger is one thing; excessive beating of a 4-year-old with a switch, which left marks and appears to have broken the skin, is another. This beating constitutes child abuse. Peterson was quoted as saying in a text to the boy's mother, "Got him in the nuts once I noticed." He also texted, "I felt bad after the fact when I noticed the switch was wrapping around hitting I (sic) thigh." Then he claimed he never goes overboard. Peterson needs an education in what constitutes overboard. He was punished in this manner and thinks it is normal and acceptable.

 

From http://houston.cbslo...ctment-charges/

According to police reports, the child, however, had a slightly different story, telling authorities that "Daddy Peterson hit me on my face.” The child also expressed worry that Peterson would punch him in the face if the child reported the incident to authorities. He also said that he had been hit by a belt and that “there are a lot of belts in Daddy’s closet.” He added that Peterson put leaves in his mouth when he was being hit with the switch while his pants were down. The child told his mother that Peterson “likes belts and switches” and “has a whooping room.”

 

*sigh


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#11 nomad

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 08:29 AM

Charles Barkley was running is mouth yesterday saying we need to leave Peterson alone because this type of discipline is a "black thing" and "If we go after him we need to put every black parent in jail then."

 

I didn't realize this type of abuse was so common in the black culture and I grew up with plenty of black friends.



#12 SacKen

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 01:15 PM

The debate over spanking is never-ending and there are a lot of differing opinions and beliefs that we could discuss for years and never come to any conclusion or agreement.

 

This is not about spanking. This is about child abuse.  We deemed this form of "discipline" to be inhumane about 150 years ago.

 

Also keep in mind that this was a 4 year old.

 

... cuts on the boy's thigh and hands. He also had bruises on his lower back and buttocks, ...

 

... several of the wounds were bleeding when the child went back to his mother.

 

The injuries were severe enough that his mom took him to see a doctor when she noticed them.

 

"Got him in the nuts once I noticed. But I felt so bad, n I'm all tearing that butt up when needed!" the text said. Peterson allegedly sent a follow up text saying, "Never do I go overboard! But all my kids will know, hey daddy has he biggest heart but don't play no games when it comes to acting right."

 

 

0912-adrian-peterson-son-injuries-5.jpg


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#13 SacKen

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 01:26 PM

Charles Barkley was running is mouth yesterday saying we need to leave Peterson alone because this type of discipline is a "black thing" and "If we go after him we need to put every black parent in jail then."

 

I didn't realize this type of abuse was so common in the black culture and I grew up with plenty of black friends.

 

We all got spanked when I was a kid.  What I noticed in my little world as a kid was that this method wasn't a "black thing", but a southern thing.  My friends whose parents grew-up in the South all used the switch and belt methods.  My black friends who weren't from the South or were a couple generations removed from growing up in the South just got the hand, like we did.

 

Looking back at how all our parents disciplined us and how we all turned out, I'd come to the conclusion that the discipline style has little or no effect on behavior or what type of adult the child becomes.  The fact that there was discipline of any kind and the parents paid enough attention to notice when discipline is needed does affect behavior and outcome.


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#14 Judge Smails

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Posted 23 September 2014 - 09:24 PM

Charles Barkley was running is mouth yesterday saying we need to leave Peterson alone because this type of discipline is a "black thing" and "If we go after him we need to put every black parent in jail then."
 
I didn't realize this type of abuse was so common in the black culture and I grew up with plenty of black friends.

Barkley is an irrelevant fool. Is poor grammar a "black thing" as well?

#15 Homer

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Posted 23 September 2014 - 10:20 PM

Spanking should only be used as a last resort to get the kids attention to address behavior that poses an immediate threat to the child.It shouldn't be used as a punishment.   






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