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To Spank Or Not To Spank

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#16 cw68


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Posted 23 September 2014 - 10:26 PM

Spanking should only be used as a last resort to get the kids attention to address behavior that poses an immediate threat to the child.It shouldn't be used as a punishment.   

This is similar to how I feel. To me, it's less of a punishment and more of a sign that one has absolutely, positively crossed a line that shouldn't ever be crossed again.

#17 Steve Heard

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 08:10 AM

Charles Barkley was running is mouth yesterday saying we need to leave Peterson alone because this type of discipline is a "black thing" and "If we go after him we need to put every black parent in jail then."


I didn't realize this type of abuse was so common in the black culture and I grew up with plenty of black friends.


That was a foolish statement. Spanking isn't the exclusive domain of black parents. 


I used to joke that I grew up poor, black and Catholic and am from the deep South, so you know I got spanked.


I eventually learned that rich white Christians out West do it too.

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#18 Deb aka Resume Lady

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 09:45 AM


That was a foolish statement. Spanking isn't the exclusive domain of black parents. 


I used to joke that I grew up poor, black and Catholic and am from the deep South, so you know I got spanked.


I eventually learned that rich white Christians out West do it too.


I grew up in an abusive home. My father used a belt as well as spanking. My mother used her hairbrush, hair pulling, punching, and slapping. I had a broken leg at the age of 5.5 months and was hospitalized for 1 month with my leg in traction.


My family is not black.


My family's roots are not from the South.


There is a difference between punishment and discipline. Most don't know the difference.


There is a difference between a swat and a beating....many go too far, primarily because they hit in anger.

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#19 SacKen



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Posted 25 September 2014 - 07:55 AM

I think there's some misinterpretation here.  I don't think anyone is saying that black parents or Southern parents are the only places you will find child abuse or spanking.  Of course you will find both everywhere.  What we are talking about is the location of the "acceptable" line somewhere between an occasional light swat on the bottom and obvious abuse.


I don't believe Barkley is saying that spanking is only done in the South or in black families.  He's also not saying that what Deb described is acceptable or only seen in the South or black families.  He's talking about spanking methods and the placement of that "acceptable" line.  Specifically, he was talking about getting whooped with a switch that might give you welts.  He was saying that in the South, that is on the acceptable side of the line.  In New York and California, it is on the abuse side of the line (in general, not any one specific family).


To restate, I bet you'd find that whippin' with a switch in this manner is significantly more common and acceptable in families with southern roots than families with California roots.

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#20 4thgenFolsomite


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Posted 25 September 2014 - 09:02 AM

I had a friend who used to joke, "you've got to beat love into them."  :)

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#21 Sandman


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Posted 18 November 2014 - 01:25 PM

spank, don't beat.


+1.  Sure worked on me as a kid...  I think the big difference is while my dad was no doubt angry about what I had done, he didn't spank me while in a rage.  He explained to me why I was getting the belt and the fact he doesn't like to have to do it,  BUT here it comes.  I never held a single spanking against my dad, and accepted it as MY fault for making poor decision(s).


A switch on a 4yr old is a bit excessive however and beyond what I would have done with either of my kids at that age.  If I had a choice however I would rather see a parent that is a little excessive than one who doesn't give a damn about their kids behavior as I see out of so many parents these days.

#22 FolsomSince98



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Posted 26 September 2016 - 11:54 AM

A very tricky thing to navigate, as a parent you want to do what's best for your child and I can see both sides of the argument. It's hard to see the logic behind spanking your child when they've hit someone, definitely seems counter intuitive. On the other hand it is hard to use reason and logic with a young child (that doesn't quite understand yet) reaching for boiling water on the stove when a "no" doesn't suffice. I can see where a light smack on the hand will get the point across and hopefully spare a horrible outcome.

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