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Feeling In A Funk And A Little Unwelcome

dogs barking neighbors animal control noise

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#1 crickett_4jc

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 03:07 PM

So we just moved here from southern California, and I have been wanting to move to Folsom for quite a few years.  Things have been going great--I've already made good friends with two sets of neighbors, I've been friendly with another, the kids are loving school, etc.

 

So today I go check my mail and I feel like somebody peed in my cheerios.  I got a notice that our dogs are barking too much.  So, to give a little back story here, I have a sheltie, and he is the main culprit.  He doesn't bark aggressively, and he doesn't bark from boredom or to get attention.  He barks when he sees or hears kids playing, because he wants to round them up and protect them.  It's part of his breed, not something to be fixed.

 

That being said, I KNOW it's annoying, and I honestly and truly don't want to annoy my neighbors with it.  I actually cried of embarrassment (and moving stress, haha) after receiving the notice.  I am not an inconsiderate person by nature, so to be perceived that way cuts for me.  The real kicker for me is that I voluntarily brought up the issue of my barky dog the first week I was here with the neighbors on either side of me (I have no neighbors across the street, as I'm on a frontage road).  The one neighbor is a sheriff and said "I won't mind your dog if you don't mind my drums and my dog!"  The other neighbors we have become close with already, and they will let me know when they use the pool and I kennel the dog.  I also kennel the dogs by around 8 at night so that they never disturb anyone then.  

 

So I know it's somebody behind me, but I wish they would have left a note or something so I could let them know that anytime the dogs are bothering them they can text me and I will definitely be proactive and accommodating.  At my old place everyone had barking dogs, so I learned to tune it all out, and I don't even hear it now most of the time!  But I don't WANT to be a bad neighbor!  I just wish I was given more to collaborate with!  

 

Now I just feel paranoid and judged.  I wish I could resolve this with whoever took issue.  I don't want my hurt feelings to turn into resentment!



#2 WolfMom

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 03:39 PM

Welcome to a new town! Folsom is a great city, it has a few warts but over-all I love it here. I too worry about being judged so I know your stress. I also have a neighbor whose dog barks like crazy, I get frustrated and annoyed (especially after 9pm) but I call out to the dog and say hello to her and smile. It is part of having a dog and part of being a neighbor.

 

I wish the neighbor would speak more directly with you but they may be afraid of retaliation. Some people just don't know how to talk to others and that isn't a crime but certainly can frustrate your ability to communicate. Perhaps a friendly flier to immediate neighbors (including those behind you) that introduces yourself (first name) and explains that you do have a dog and a keen interest in also being a good and responsive neighbor and that you invite anyone with concerns to contact you via (email/phone) and provide contact information. Sometimes you have to stick your neck out in an open and friendly way to see if you can create a bridge. May or may not work but at least you can feel good that you made a good faith effort and put yourself out there. You have at least one person here in Folsom (me) that would admire you for trying. (On the practical side, keep a copy of the flier you gave out so if anyone ever tries to "blow the whistle" on you, you can produce a very friendly letter asking folks how you can work with them. This can go a long way to keeping you in the clear of any silliness.)

 

Good luck and let us know how things go.


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#3 leenda

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 03:45 PM

Your (first) post seems genuinely heartfelt. I've never heard of "peeing in your cheerios".....up here we "Sh** in our cornflakes!!! LOL.

Dealing with neighbors and barking dogs is an ongoing, neverending situation in any place you live. You sound like you're being a very attentive, caring neighbor and are willing to do whatever it takes to maintain your good standing in the community. We just rent our house and cannot have pets, but have to deal constantly with the "barkers" on either side of the fence. On one side, we have the barker who goes nuts every time the owner leaves the property and basically "barks himself out" after about two hours. On the other side, we have the protective "woofer" -- he's a BIG guy who belongs to a Folsom cop, so, I'm not inclined to complain about him waking me up every morning when the other dogs walk by on their walks. He's one of those doggies who goes nuts over the other canines passing his house.

I have, in the past, complained to the HOA about the other dog who goes on for hours and they gave me the direct phone number to security to call and get the dog under control. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE animals and wish we were in a position to have one of our own, but kudos to YOU for recognizing the problem you and your neighbors are having. Hope things work out for you in your new location. Welcome to Folsom, CA 95630

#4 Rich_T

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 04:01 PM

Probably the only way to not end up with long-term resentment is to knock on the doors of the three neighbors behind you.  Take your dog on a leash with you.  Have them meet the dog, and explain why he barks, and ask for their suggestions on how to be accommodating.  I am guessing/hoping that once they meet your dog, and have a "face" and a "story" behind the bark, they won't mind as much.  And if it's truly only a problem while other kids are playing (noisily?), then that's during the daytime, so it's not a huge deal.  But on the other hand, maybe you'll find out that the dog barks all the time when you're not at home, and then you can try to address that.

 

Disclaimer:  I don't really know what I'm talking about, but just thinking of ways to maybe help out.



#5 supermom

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 04:05 PM

I wouldnt give a crud why the dog barks. If he really barks that much, it can be fixed. Send him to a trainer or get rid of him or get rid of his voice box. There are options besides making your neighbors bear the brunt of poor handling and training of a dog



#6 crickett_4jc

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 04:31 PM

Well I really appreciate the first three responses!  Your suggestions and points of view are very helpful, and I plan on making a flyer and most likely bringing the dog around to meet the neighbors.  Nobody has met this dog and not fallen in love with him, so that probably really would help!  

 

The hand written note on my notice was "barking when neighbors try to use their yards," so I think he is seeing kids through the fence and wanting to round them up.  I'm a stay at home mom, so I'm not gone a whole lot, but as I mentioned, I don't always notice when it's happening (my kids drown out the noise a little, too!)

 

 

As for Supermom's comment, The old adage of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" comes to mind :-) I just hope my neighbors don't share your disposition and are a little more open to sharing the neighborhood and making compromises, knowing that I'm genuinely not trying to be a burden.  It's not like the neighborhood was quiet when I moved in, either.  I hear other dogs, really noisy birds, and one neighbor seems to burn trash in the backyard that fills up everyone else's backyards, too, but I'm kind of live and let live, so I don't really sweat it on the receiving end of things! That being said, I don't plan to ignore the issue at all, and hopefully my neighbors will help me help them (though "removing a dog's voice box" is nowhere near a viable or humane option :o )



#7 AMETHYST PRODUCTIVITY

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 05:02 PM

Honestly, if the neighbor wanted to chat about it, they would have knocked on the door. I'm sorry you're upset - welcome to the neighborhood BTW! - but there are very few things as annoying as a barking dog. We have them next to us too and I just want  to scream. 


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#8 EAH

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 05:11 PM

get rid of him or get rid of his voice box.

 

 

 You have really wandered off the reservation on this one.



#9 Deb aka Resume Lady

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 05:14 PM

Welcome to Folsom! I understand your position (I'm a dog owner and lover) as well as the position of neighbors who don't want to hear a barking dog (we've have neighborhood dogs who barked nonstop).

 

Introducing yourself to neighbors is a great start and, as has been pointed out already, it would be a good idea to introduce yourself to neighbors behind you as well. Welcome them to come to you with their issues.

 

Having said that, and I truly don't mean this feedback in a rude way, if meeting your neighbors and introducing your dog doesn't stop the barking it hasn't fixed the problem. Case in point....My son-in-law works a very early shift and has to hit the sack early. My daughter and son-in-law have an infant son. They have a neighbor whose dog barks all the time. It may be a loveable poochie and it may barking because it's in his nature to protect and so he barks at every person who walks by... but the net effect is that he barks a lot and when he's barking no one sleeps.... Even with the windows shut (and why should they have to shut windows and have a stuffy house to try to soften that noise?) it's loud. My grandson was born a month early and then developed some severe stomach issues, requiring hospitalization (and at the time we thought he'd be heading for major surgery -- thankfully that wasn't the case, but it was stressful). He was in substantial pain and it was difficult to get him to sleep.....but, finally he'd settle down from exhaustion.... to be woken up by the neighbor's barking, barking, barking dog. This is beside the fact that my daughter had been in and out of the hospital for over a month before he was born and was beyond being exhausted as a new mom who also needed to sleep and was awakened by the barking dog. Again, he may be a very lovable pooch, but his barking is a problem and no amount of information to understand why that breed barks solves the problem.

 

I used to have a neighbor whose outdoor cats were creating a variety of problems for us. I approached her in a very respectful, neighborly way and she was beyond rude to me. While you wish people would approach you in person, neighbors don't always know how the issue will be received.

 

Pets that spent a lot of time outdoors can be an issue for other neighbors. Our dogs have always been indoor dogs, so I've never had to deal with this as an owner.

 

I wish I had a suggestion. I hope you have a better perspective, though, on what others may be going through and/or why they may not feel comfortable approaching you in person (in addition to the potential for retailiation, as was also pointed out). I trust that you have a good heart and that you will continue to try to figure out a way to get poochie to stop barking when you hear him doing so. I don't know enough about various breeds to know if you can train a dog that barks because he wants to round up the kids to play to stop barking.... but if there is anything you can do to make the situation better it would be best for all concerned.

 

Again, I hope you don't take anything I said in a rude way. I am only sharing our experiences.

 

Best wishes and, again, welcome!


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#10 leenda

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 05:22 PM

I have to agree with EAH on this one, Supermom.....that post was totally out of character for you (based upon your track record on this forum)  If for no other reason, I just thought it was a really cruel, insensitive remark.



#11 crickett_4jc

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 05:28 PM

Deb, I didn't take it as rude at all, and I do think you have very valid points here. Having had 4 kids myself and a husband who has worked shift work I can relate to those issues.  We personally invested in white noise machines (not joking--4 of them in our house!) to help drown out the noise, and it definitely helped!  I do think that when people chose to live in suburban areas they go in to it knowing that there will be noises throughout the day--my kids playing in the backyard are 20 times louder than the dogs, not to mention lawn mowing and a variety of other noises that come along with living in a densely populated area.  That doesn't excuse excessive dog barking, and I definitely know that, and that's why I really want to address this issue!  

 

And concerning the outdoor dog situation, I do feel plenty of guilt about that topic.  My sheltie was meant to be an indoor dog, and was for a while, but then I rescued two other abused dogs who were left in the neighborhood, and they were not house trained and didn't seem like they were going to be trained easily.  On top of that I was very pregnant and had a potty training toddler, and the three dogs seemed happy in a pack outside (with us playing with them there often...in fact my two youngest spend most of the day out there with them!), so I came to terms (mostly) with my outdoor dog guilt, figuring the newest two were much happier than in their formerly abusive home! 

 

Now that I've written an entire confessional...lol...can you tell I carry a lot of guilt around?!



#12 4thgenFolsomite

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 05:42 PM

this is why I hate HOAs.  my neighbor's dog barks whenever I'm in the yard and its the sweetest dog ever.  I just tune it out.  after all, life isn't perfect.  if it were affecting my sleep, that might be different.  I would go around and introduce yourself to your neighbors with the dog and say hi, just moved in and wanted to let everyone in the neighborhood know we're here and trying to get our dogs quieted down.  sometimes when people put a face to neighbor, they may feel a little more neighborly. 


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#13 bordercolliefan

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 07:01 PM

Crickett, when I read your original post, my first thought was, "Why is the dog outside so much?  Dogs should be indoors, not outdoors where they tend to develop bad habits like barking." 

 

In reading your subsequent post, I see that you have a reason for keeping the dogs outdoors (now that you have three of them).  Nonetheless, I honestly don't know if having 3 dogs continuously out in the backyard is really a tenable situation.  It sounds like it could be really tough on the neighbors.  If the sheltie is the only barker, maybe you should move him back inside. 

 

My current dog (also a herding breed) is a bit of a barker.  Herding dogs can have really penetrating barks, too - designed to carry over miles of moors!  I really don't have him outside for more than 5 minutes at a time (just to do his business), because otherwise he will start barking at random things and bother the neighbors. 



#14 Carl G

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 07:13 PM

I had a problem where one of my dogs barked at the neighbors when they were in their backyard.  I hung black plastic on my side of the fence so she couldn't see through. It didn't solve the problem, but she was much better after that to the point where the neighbors weren't so concerned.



#15 jpow5

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Posted 26 September 2013 - 07:45 PM

I'm glad that you are trying to work out a solution and it sounds like you are a being a great neighbor. However, I just want to throw out there that not everyone loves dogs. As one of those non-dog people, if a new neighbor showed up at my door with their dog(s) I'm not exactly sure how I'd react, whether or not I was the note writer. So if your neighbors don't go all crazy upon meeting your dog, don't take it personally, they just may not be fond of any dog. 







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