10 replies to this topic

[sasilou]

Hi Parents-I feel crazy for asking this but I really dont know what to do. Our son is in 8th grade. Since 6th grade I check edline for homework, grades. . . then all but follow "D" around asking, did you do this, have you started that, you need to study for. . .but the minute I go outside, leave the room, he's not doing what he is supposed to do homework wise. Once I raise my voice out of frustration he starts what he is supposed to but again, if I leave him alone he's off task. His grades are very average not horrible. My question to you is-Does it get better as they get older? Im worried since High School is around the corner and I dont know how help get him out of the patterns he's been in. I've always been on him to stay on task. . .

[Harold]

Hi Parents-I feel crazy for asking this but I really dont know what to do. Our son is in 8th grade. Since 6th grade I check edline for homework, grades. . . then all but follow "D" around asking, did you do this, have you started that, you need to study for. . .but the minute I go outside, leave the room, he's not doing what he is supposed to do homework wise. Once I raise my voice out of frustration he starts what he is supposed to but again, if I leave him alone he's off task. His grades are very average not horrible. My question to you is-Does it get better as they get older? Im worried since High School is around the corner and I dont know how help get him out of the patterns he's been in. I've always been on him to stay on task. . .

I would suggest not raising your voice, I once heard that parents yelling at kids is the adult equivalent of throwing a temper tantrum. You're the adult, stay cool, calm, & collective. I also suggest taking away privileges like, TV time, Computer time, Game Time until he is done with the task at hand. If he takes too long for the task, then he loses the privileges for the night. If he can't stay on task in his room, make him do his homework in the kitchen or dining room or where ever you can monitor him more closely.

[AMETHYST PRODUCTIVITY]

It's not going to change as they get older, IMO. They develop skills and study habits fairly young. I've heard many kids say music at a low volume helps while they're doing homework. Kid's minds these days are craving more than one thing at a time.

Definitely take the cell phone, computer, etc out of the picture.

My daughter's desk is now in the eat-in part of our kitchen rather than her room since she likes to be with us and not off by herself. It also allows me to see what she's doing which has never been an issue but might be for some.

Be encouraging and talk about it rather than yelling. If you raise your voice, they will tune you out.

[sasilou]

I would suggest not raising your voice, I once heard that parents yelling at kids is the adult equivalent of throwing a temper tantrum. You're the adult, stay cool, calm, & collective. I also suggest taking away privileges like, TV time, Computer time, Game Time until he is done with the task at hand. If he takes too long for the task, then he loses the privileges for the night. If he can't stay on task in his room, make him do his homework in the kitchen or dining room or where ever you can monitor him more closely.

Geez, I hope it wasnt me you heard yelling. . . I will really work on keeping my voice down, but it does seem like thats the only time he gets moving. . . I will keep my voice normal. Our TV is off M-Friday mornings. My husband and I dont even get to watch the news or House Hunters on those days. Our kids ("D" and our 11 year old girl) dont have cell phones or computers in their rooms, so I cant take those away. Our kids always do their homework on the kitchen counter. . . I will talk to him in a normal voice and let you know how that goes, thank youfor your post

It's not going to change as they get older, IMO. They develop skills and study habits fairly young. I've heard many kids say music at a low volume helps while they're doing homework. Kid's minds these days are craving more than one thing at a time.

Definitely take the cell phone, computer, etc out of the picture.

My daughter's desk is now in the eat-in part of our kitchen rather than her room since she likes to be with us and not off by herself. It also allows me to see what she's doing which has never been an issue but might be for some.

Be encouraging and talk about it rather than yelling. If you raise your voice, they will tune you out.

Our kids love music and I make them turn it off during homework, I will let them put on their music low and see how that goes. Our kids only do homework on the kitchen counter, they are only in their room to sleep or for time outs. . . I will try to music thing, would have never thought to let them have it on during homework, so thank you.

[AMETHYST PRODUCTIVITY]

You're welcome, I think it's in the same category as white noise to help you sleep. It helps calm their mind which is racing all over the place. Let me know if it helps!

[mac_convert]

I've just started a parenting class last night called Love and Logic. The information I got last night about an issue such as this would be to use I Will statements. I will let you ____ when you get your homework done. The blank is something that he really wants to do, a place to go, etc. The presenter said it only took a couple of times before her strong-willed daughter got the message and realized that her mom wasn't going to let her do anything until she carried out her part.

[asbestoshills]

Personally, I think there is too much homework assigned and it's almost impossible to keep up As and do sports at the same time w/o going to bed v. late -10:30-11pm for mine. Our kids' homework has inc exponentially since 5th grade and some of it's busy work. I vote for keeping the school day longer and no homework.

[The Average Joe]

Couple thoughts. Yes, the homework can get ridiculous, although the amount seems random (maybe kids get all the heavy homework teachers together sometimes). High school seems to have less.

We used to track and follow up on every item on edline with my son in middle school, but told him it was HIS responsibility to make sure assignments were completed and any errors were corrected once he hit high school. The transition was only slightly bumpy, but was a good lesson in responsibility. Now we just analyze the results with him.

We have never had to check up on my daughter tho. Every kid is different, so finding what motivates them to do what they should is the challenge I guess. We do a full electronics ban for the important stuff. If it has a cord or batteries, it gets an "access denied" category. That seems pretty effective, but YMMV.

[MurphysLaw]

Hi Parents-I feel crazy for asking this but I really dont know what to do. Our son is in 8th grade. Since 6th grade I check edline for homework, grades. . . then all but follow "D" around asking, did you do this, have you started that, you need to study for. . .but the minute I go outside, leave the room, he's not doing what he is supposed to do homework wise. Once I raise my voice out of frustration he starts what he is supposed to but again, if I leave him alone he's off task. His grades are very average not horrible. My question to you is-Does it get better as they get older? Im worried since High School is around the corner and I dont know how help get him out of the patterns he's been in. I've always been on him to stay on task. . .

Take away the computer, only let him use it if he needs to write a paper. It's the biggest distraction for me. There is always something that could be done there.

[MnT]

I'm taking the Love & Logic classes, too. They are fantastic. You might want to get the L&L book about parenting a teenager.

[mac_convert]

I'm excited because our PTA purchased the Love & Logic book for the classroom for all of the teachers at my school. I'm kinda sad next week is our last class.

I'm taking the Love & Logic classes, too. They are fantastic. You might want to get the L&L book about parenting a teenager.