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An Open Apology To Hannaford Cross Residents


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#1 Parizienne

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 04:36 PM

Dear Hannaford Cross Residents,

Someone out there has left an anonymous note in our mailbox indicating on behalf of "our neighbors" that they would like us to do a better job of maintaining our yard. First and foremost, I must say with great sincerity that I am sorry if anyone has been so troubled about this that they felt it necessary to write this note.

While I agree that three things are in need of attention at this moment, this mode of notification troubles me. Before I get into this, I need to emphasize that our yard is not an eyesore that is reducing property values. We have a couple of overgrown bushes, a wild shrub creeping and a faded lawn (not brown nor dead) that is merely a seasonal occurence.

We are new to the neighborhood, and we thought the people here were family-oriented and friendly. It appears that isn't true. We are working people, and we have three middle-school aged children and one elementary-school aged child between us who are going through their first year of adjusting to a new step-family. This brings with it a host of unpredictable situations on any given day. This will continue to improve, but it won't happen over night. But, suffice it to say that some things will take priority even with the best of intentions. I know these are not the problems of our neighbors. I don't presume to assume that anyone is interested in hearing excuses, but I think it's important to shed light on the not-so-obvious background.

We still have much to be done since moving into this house. We are still unpacking. We moved in four days before I had to start the school year in a new district, teaching a new grade. This means my free time is spent writing lessons on curriculum that is new to me. The first year in a new district, school and grade level is the hardest, but I am sure my neighbor is unmoved.

We actually had planned to dig out the problem bushes last weekend, but it rained. We were able to do some yard work in the backyard between showers, but we filled up the green waste bin. We have since ordered another which is on its way this week. What a coincidence!

We also have only just completed construction on an outbuilding to house the yard tools and mower, etc. This was always in the plan, but the plan takes time. Can't mow the lawn and trim the bushes when the mower and the trimmer are packed into a garage full of boxes waiting to be sorted. Blending two families also means blending two households. We have a LOT of stuff to sort and get rid of. This takes time.

Now when we do tackle the front yard, as we had meant to do this past weekend, someone out there is going to get a sense of self-righteousness thinking it was they who prompted the action. It was not. And I resent, deeply, that someone will believe that. This person assumes much and cares little. That is disappointing. Many of our neighbors pay for professional gardeners. We shall not. We have other priorities for our hard-earned money. I do not stay at home all day critiquing the yards of others, nor do I have the luxury of being my own boss and setting my own hours. This person must be one or the other. The note was left sometime before 4:00 PM on a weekday.

What is shocking to me is that whoever felt the need to do this apparently fears some kind of reproach. Otherwise, why would they claim support of all the neighbors (which I find questionable) and why be anonymous? Now, I am sad to say, my neighbors will all be potentially the "note-leaver" and this leaves me feeling awkward and uncomfortable around those I don't know. I no longer feel this community is as friendly as I thought.

I am sorry that the bushes are overgrown. We are doing the best we can. It will be taken care of.

Pari
Pari

#2 ducky

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 05:15 PM

I don't live in your neighborhood, Pari, but don't take that note to heart.

What a terrrible way to welcome someone new to the neighborhood. I'm sure it's just a busybody with nothing better to do. You are obviously living an active and productive life, and that is more important than a few overgrown shrubs.

If it helps any, my yard definitely needs some work this weekend because of the ill-timed rains around other activities.

Happy gardening!



#3 bennjakesmom

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 05:52 PM

Pari,

I live in the neighborhood and I feel so bad!!!!! We moved in at the same time last year.

I cannot believe that someone would write a note like that! And to claim neighborhood support is just ludicrous! Whatever the circumstances - unless there was a car on blocks, rusted out rv's, farm animals roaming about freely, drug paraphanalia etc - there is just no call for a note like that. I walk the neighborhood with my kids almost every day, and I am trying to figure out which house is yours and from your description, I cannot figure it out. It cannot be that bad. I hate that you even had to spend the time to write a note to defend yourself like this. You are a teacher, with other far more important things to do (like take care of your damn garden smile.gif)!

Whoever wrote that note is extremely rude and not representative of this neighborhood. I have found people to be friendly and supportive.

Please accept my apology from the Hannaford Cross Neighborhood.

And just an fyi - we didn't do all that much to our garden in the year that we were here - just because we wanted to see what grows, where the sun falls, how hot it gets etc. It takes a while people!!!!!!!We also do our own garden and it takes a while.

See you around - I am the crazy lady with 2 boys driving her absolutely insane (I wonder what kind of note I am going to get)

- Debbie

#4 FolsomFrogGuy

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 06:11 PM

QUOTE(ducky @ Apr 25 2007, 06:15 PM) View Post
I don't live in your neighborhood, Pari, but don't take that note to heart.

What a terrrible way to welcome someone new to the neighborhood. I'm sure it's just a busybody with nothing better to do. You are obviously living an active and productive life, and that is more important than a few overgrown shrubs.

If it helps any, my yard definitely needs some work this weekend because of the ill-timed rains around other activities.

Happy gardening!


I concur...
Economic Meter for the Wealthy...
Reagan (1980-88) Dow 876 - 1879; 114.6% increase
Bush I (1988-92) Dow 1958 - 3254; 66.1% increase
Clinton (1992-2001) Dow 3223-10588; 228.5% increase
Bush II (2001 - Jan. 20, 2009) Dow 10588 - 7949; 24.9% DECREASE
Obama (2009-Nov. 6, 2009) Dow 7949 - 10,023; 26% Increase
"Gr. Recession" Recovery? - Dow Peak: 10/7/07 - 11/6/09; 14,165-
10,023; Down 29%



#5 mylo

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 06:24 PM

I'm gonna side with the note writer on this one. Confronting a neighbour is a hard thing to do. They likely want to get along with you, not make a new enemy, but they've also probably watched the decline of your lawn since the old family moved out. This is their non-confrontational way of letting you know they noticed. I'm sure if you ran into them on the street, they'd say "Nice lawn" once you've cleaned it up.

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#6 bishmasterb

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 06:34 PM

Just seconding what a hard thing it is to do, to criticize the appearance of a neighbor's house, so I understand why someone might choose to do that anonymously through a note. Hopefully they were tactful in the note.

On the positive side, at least they chose to deal with it privately instead of making a formal complaint to the city as so many people seem eager to do.

#7 bennjakesmom

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 06:49 PM

I still don't think that someone should have dealt with it in this way and "on behalf of the neighbors". I am sure that the neighbors would be appalled if they knew that they were being included in this note.

#8 Revolutionist

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Posted 25 April 2007 - 06:54 PM

I agree with the poster that said the note came from a busy-body

a neighbor would have knocked on the door and asked if there was anything they could do to help if there was really a problem (such as non-compliance with HOA regulations or CC&Rs).

If no state of non-compliance exists, it is simply someone else's expectation of what your property should look like and therefore not worthy of your time or attention.


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#9 Chad Vander Veen

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Posted 26 April 2007 - 06:38 AM

I see both sides of the story - beat that!



#10 supermom

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Posted 26 April 2007 - 07:51 AM

Is hannaford cross in a CCr or HOA area? If not then I'd put a stick in the grass with a note attached written in sharpie tha says " to the person who wrote the annonymous note-if you don't like it fix it" laugh.gif

#11 tweety29108

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Posted 26 April 2007 - 08:28 AM

QUOTE(Parizienne @ Apr 25 2007, 04:36 PM) View Post
Dear Hannaford Cross Residents,

Someone out there has left an anonymous note in our mailbox indicating on behalf of "our neighbors" that they would like us to do a better job of maintaining our yard. First and foremost, I must say with great sincerity that I am sorry if anyone has been so troubled about this that they felt it necessary to write this note.

While I agree that three things are in need of attention at this moment, this mode of notification troubles me. Before I get into this, I need to emphasize that our yard is not an eyesore that is reducing property values. We have a couple of overgrown bushes, a wild shrub creeping and a faded lawn (not brown nor dead) that is merely a seasonal occurence.

We are new to the neighborhood, and we thought the people here were family-oriented and friendly. It appears that isn't true. We are working people, and we have three middle-school aged children and one elementary-school aged child between us who are going through their first year of adjusting to a new step-family. This brings with it a host of unpredictable situations on any given day. This will continue to improve, but it won't happen over night. But, suffice it to say that some things will take priority even with the best of intentions. I know these are not the problems of our neighbors. I don't presume to assume that anyone is interested in hearing excuses, but I think it's important to shed light on the not-so-obvious background.

We still have much to be done since moving into this house. We are still unpacking. We moved in four days before I had to start the school year in a new district, teaching a new grade. This means my free time is spent writing lessons on curriculum that is new to me. The first year in a new district, school and grade level is the hardest, but I am sure my neighbor is unmoved.

We actually had planned to dig out the problem bushes last weekend, but it rained. We were able to do some yard work in the backyard between showers, but we filled up the green waste bin. We have since ordered another which is on its way this week. What a coincidence!

We also have only just completed construction on an outbuilding to house the yard tools and mower, etc. This was always in the plan, but the plan takes time. Can't mow the lawn and trim the bushes when the mower and the trimmer are packed into a garage full of boxes waiting to be sorted. Blending two families also means blending two households. We have a LOT of stuff to sort and get rid of. This takes time.

Now when we do tackle the front yard, as we had meant to do this past weekend, someone out there is going to get a sense of self-righteousness thinking it was they who prompted the action. It was not. And I resent, deeply, that someone will believe that. This person assumes much and cares little. That is disappointing. Many of our neighbors pay for professional gardeners. We shall not. We have other priorities for our hard-earned money. I do not stay at home all day critiquing the yards of others, nor do I have the luxury of being my own boss and setting my own hours. This person must be one or the other. The note was left sometime before 4:00 PM on a weekday.

What is shocking to me is that whoever felt the need to do this apparently fears some kind of reproach. Otherwise, why would they claim support of all the neighbors (which I find questionable) and why be anonymous? Now, I am sad to say, my neighbors will all be potentially the "note-leaver" and this leaves me feeling awkward and uncomfortable around those I don't know. I no longer feel this community is as friendly as I thought.

I am sorry that the bushes are overgrown. We are doing the best we can. It will be taken care of.

Pari


Hi there Pari,

I wanted to tell you that I am very sorry about this note you recieved. I know how it feels. We live in another area of Folsom and we rent but after we moved in there was supposed to be lawn people taking care of our lawn and they werent coming. Well we got one of these notes. It made us feel like crap. Our note to claimed the neighborhood. I put a note on our mailboxes that if the person who wrote this note would come talk to me and my husband we would gladly explain the situation. I feel somone should come talk to you (or Us) instead of a note because after that we were weary of all our neighbors. I hated that feeling. I understand people wanting their neighborhood to be nice but at the same time there are situations that arise that people dont know about unless they talk to you. To anyone who feels they need to write a note, I would be more inclined to make sure it gets done if somone comes and talks to me instead of making me feel like crap. I am sorry you had to experience this feeling. Good luck to you and your family in your new neighborhood.


#12 Nancy

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Posted 26 April 2007 - 10:04 PM

I think this is a good reminder that sometimes you have no idea what someone is going through just because they smile and wave when they see you in the neighborhood.

Hopefully the person who wrote the note has seen this discussion and next time will say something like : I've seen that you've been having a hard time keeping up with your yard. Would you mind if did a little work in your front yard for you every once in a while.

A few years ago I was really really sick, due to an illness that had been undiagnosed for 18 (!)years. (I'm totally fine now, btw.) At the time it got really bad (I could barely walk) my husband also had an opportunity at advancement at his job, which required a huge amount of hours on the other side of Sacramento. Then my dad died of cancer; 11 years after my mom died of cancer, btw. I also had a 2yo and a 1yo. Then my stepmom started dating a month after my dad's funeral. Then she stopped talking to me.

Then, about three months before my diagnosis, some of my family members decided that I was faking my illness for attention and practically had an intervention on me. I was so sick that it was all I could do to barely take care of my children. Add the grief on top of that and it's a wonder I didn't have a nervous breakdown. It was awful. I was so physically sick I couldn't even take my kids outside to play in our backyard. There was no way I could do anything about anything with our outside.

Then one of our neighbors called the SPCA saying that our dog was a nuisance and constantly barked. Completely untrue. I was home nearly 24/7 and our dog only went outside to pee. He's a huge dog (120 pound yellow "lab"), so I think maybe they were scared of him. But they told the SPCA that he constantly barked and that we wouldn't do anything about it. Thank goodness the SPCA was objective. After they sent a worker out just to listen for the barking on three undisclosed days, they determined that not only was our dog not barking, but there was no dog barking within earshot. The neighbors ended up being unlucky enough to call in yet another complaint at a time when the worker was actually there listening for this barking.

Anyway, if the letter writer is reading this, you have NO idea what is going on with someone else's life. Like someone else said, if there's a car on blocks or a totally dead brown lawn, yea, you should ask about it. But if we're talking about overgrown bushes, come on... Be a neighbor and offer to help. If someone is just being forgetful or zones out about keeping up with it, they'll get the message. If someone is having some really bad problems, maybe they'll share with you and you can be a blessing to them by offering some much-needed help.

Okay, I'm done now.

Nancy

#13 Parizienne

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Posted 30 April 2007 - 09:01 PM

Hey. thanks everyone for your support. It really helped! I was especially relieved when BennJakesmom couldn't tell which yard was ours. Sometimes you second guess yourself thinking maybe you're not seeing the forest for the trees because it's your own yard. Thanks for that! And Supermom, read elsewhere that you're new here, too. Judging from your comments about the dam construction ( pun intended... heh), you must be relatively close to me. When things settle, maybe we could do a North Folsom get-together. This board's becoming a little more active than in the past. It would be nice to meet everyone.

As for some things in need of reply --

We're a CC&R neighborhood, and the lawn doesn't look any different than it did when the previous owneres moved out. Well - scratch that... after the last few days, it's looking less faded and more dry, so we need to get the sprinkler system back on its rotation. The irrigation was not working well last summer when we moved in, but my hubby's got the know-how to fix it. Now.. if only there was as much time as know-how! We've got First Communions this weekend, but perhaps on Sunday we can get to those sprinklers. I absolutely don't want the lawn to dry out -- even if it isn't the best lawn to start with.


We have a great neighborhood. I am so much more encouraged to see that people are reasonable. I still don't know who left the note, but I was talking to someone else who lives over in Cascade Falls/Baldwin Dam area who's got a really, really cranky neighbor. I don't envy her that. I suppose I should count my blessings and consider this experience one from which to learn.

Happy May, everybody!

Pari

QUOTE(supermom @ Apr 26 2007, 08:51 AM) View Post
Is hannaford cross in a CCr or HOA area? If not then I'd put a stick in the grass with a note attached written in sharpie tha says " to the person who wrote the annonymous note-if you don't like it fix it" laugh.gif


Pari




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