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If You Knew A Child Was Doing Something Wrong, Would You Tell The Pare


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#1 Steve Heard

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Posted 03 February 2017 - 02:37 PM

A friend posted on Facebook, saying "What's on my mind: very complex question. If you've learned something about one of your kids friends that's not so positive (being kind with wording) that would be alarming to their parents who you consider a good friends - do u tell them or mind your own business? Remember this can affect your child's reputation and friendships... I think NO.. each parent should be in tuned with their kid. And honestly, it's a tough call... people seem to shoot the messenger"

 

What do you say? 

 


Steve Heard

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916 718 9577 


#2 2 Aces

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Posted 03 February 2017 - 03:20 PM

Steve, I would guess that most people would share that info with the other parents, especially if they're friends. And if those parents get angry with you, then maybe you weren't as good of friends as you thought.

And besides, can you imagine if you withheld some serious info and something pretty bad happened?

#3 nomad

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Posted 03 February 2017 - 03:50 PM

This town is full of chatter box people. Folsom Chat, Folsom Watch, etc. People post if a kid takes too long in line at Subway, or cuts across the street on his bike. They claim it's for their "safety" but they are just looking for something to post/complain about. If something is really going on with a kid and it's bad the parents will find out soon enough. 

 

Social media to the rescue!



#4 The Average Joe

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Posted 03 February 2017 - 10:10 PM

I say you are not helping anybody by keeping a secret  If they are your friends, they should understand that it is in the interest of the child's well being. If they can't understand that, then maybe you weren't that great of friends.  I knew someone whose sister knew something similar about one of her kids. The sister chose to be the kid's friend rather than to let the parent know. It caused quite a rift. Eventually, the sister apologized for making a bad decision to withhold information that was important. She originally felt she was protecting the child, when in fact she was enabling the bad behavior. Your call, but if it were me, I'd say something.

A good corollary to this is the cheater spouse scenario. Most of the time, the person with the dilemma did not seek out or ask for the information, but once in possession, has to decide what to do with it. Always a tough call, but then, doing the "right" thing is never (in my experience) the easy thing.


"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." -- C.S. Lewis

 

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#5 (Folsom Trails)

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Posted 04 February 2017 - 06:45 AM

Unless there is a chance of physical harm to the kid or someone else MYOB

#6 Steve Heard

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Posted 04 February 2017 - 09:28 AM

When my kids were kids, I'd definitely want to know if they did anything dangerous, illegal or immoral. 

 

When I was a kid, the eyes of the neighborhood were on you. If you did something, your parents would find out. 

 

I told a few parents about things their kids were up to when they were in their teens, and usually got one of the following responses:

  • Not my kid! 
  • Maybe it was your kid and she's trying to cover it up. 
  • You raise your kid and I'll raise mine
  • We all did it
  • He said he didn't do it
  • I bet you did some thing you're not proud of

And RARELY, "Thanks for telling me. I'll take care of it" 


Steve Heard

Folsom Real Estate Specialist

Owner - MyFolsom.com

916 718 9577 





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