52 replies to this topic

[DavidH]

Well said Jenny and very articulate. Good luck and glad you've realized you need to get serious about school, life, etc. Some folks never get there!

[bordercolliefan]

Jenny, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. You evaluate your options very logically and thoughtfully.

Here's my two cents. I think that teenagers on the verge of adulthood need to be spending the bulk of their day (say 7 or 8 hours) doing something productive-- meaning something that helps them toward their future goals, or something that helps society. This could be any combination of things: school, a paying job, an internship, volunteer work, organized sports or clubs, etc.

A teenager (actually any kid) also needs to be a contributing member of the household. This means chores -- cooking dinner some nights, babysitting younger siblings, watering the lawn, or whatever you and your parents agree on.

I don't disagree with you that interactions with other people are one of the most important parts of life. However, you will find that the most satisfying interactions come when you are doing something productive with your friends -- i.e., working at a job together, doing volunteer work, or participating in a sport.

Everyone needs a little time to just hang out chatting or watching t.v. with friends -- but this should not comprise the bulk of your time. It has been my experience that just hanging out and not really doing anything productive tends to breed a feeling of depression, like "What's the point" and "None of us are really going anywhere." Far better to be doing something you can be proud of while you enjoy your friends' company.

I know it is a struggle for many teens to find their "thing" that really catches their interest and motivates them. Some kids know from Day 1 that they are great at sports or great at math or whatever... for others, it takes a long time to find what they really like. Still, sometimes the only way to find out is to try something. If you like animals... try volunteering at the animal shelter. If you think you may want a career in health care... volunteer in the hospital. If you like kids, try working at a local preschool or after-school program. You get the idea. This is the one time in your life when you can get away with doing stuff that doesn't pay you any $$, so you might as well take advantage of it.

Good luck. You have a great Dad, so I know you'll find your way and be an asset to the community.

[cybertrano]

Very nicely said bcfanny.

Jenny, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.  You evaluate your options very logically and thoughtfully. 

Here's my two cents.  I think that teenagers on the verge of adulthood need to be spending the bulk of their day (say 7 or 8 hours) doing something productive-- meaning something that helps them toward their future goals, or something that helps society.  This could be any combination of things:  school, a paying job, an internship, volunteer work, organized sports or clubs, etc. 

A teenager (actually any kid) also needs to be a contributing member of the household.  This means chores -- cooking dinner some nights, babysitting younger siblings, watering the lawn, or whatever you and your parents agree on. 

I don't disagree with you that interactions with other people are one of the most important parts of life.  However, you will find that the most satisfying interactions come when you are doing something productive with your friends -- i.e., working at a job together, doing volunteer work, or participating in a sport. 

Everyone needs a little time to just hang out chatting or watching t.v. with friends -- but this should not comprise the bulk of your time.  It has been my experience that just hanging out and not really doing anything productive tends to breed a feeling of depression, like "What's the point" and "None of us are really going anywhere."  Far better to be doing something you can be proud of while you enjoy your friends' company.   

I know it is a struggle for many teens to find their "thing" that really catches their interest and motivates them.  Some kids know from Day 1 that they are great at sports or great at math or whatever... for others, it takes a long time to find what they really like.  Still, sometimes the only way to find out is to try something.  If you like animals... try volunteering at the animal shelter.  If you think you may want a career in health care... volunteer in the hospital.  If you like kids, try working at a local preschool or after-school program.  You get the idea.  This is the one time in your life when you can get away with doing stuff that doesn't pay you any $$, so you might as well take advantage of it. 

Good luck.  You have a great Dad, so I know you'll find your way and be an asset to the community.

[Steve Heard]

Thanks y'all

Keep it coming. Jenny does listen.

[randb]

Jenny, I just got done reading these posts and have yet to form an opinion. I will think about it and post more later. What I do want to say is that I think you should take a minute to tell your dad you love him and he should do the same. I don't know your dad other than what I read here in these forums. To tell you the truth I don't agree with what he is saying some of the time, but I do get the strong feeling that he loves his kids and wants the best for them. You probably don't know how blessed you are to have a parent that actually cares enough to post questions in a forum. By you posting here shows you actually have a dialog with your dad and he may not realize how lucky he is to have that. I really am not sappy (my wife would be shocked with this outward emotional response), but really you are fortunate. You both may already realize this, so I am just preaching to the choir but I just wanted to post it anyway.

[Erika]

I just reviewed the posts and a lot of people have some great ideas. Since I'm in my 20's, it wasn't that long ago that I was a senior in HS. My advice is that she should get a PART-TIME JOB. There is no point sitting at home all day. Working will enable you to meet new friends, boost self-esteem, and make $$$. There are lots of places in Folsom. My very first job was Togo's in C.H. and I loved it.

Not only do you build self-esteem but by earning your own money you learn to value money. It's a great way to learn how to budget or just to make some money to go out with and have fun.

If I only was in school for a brief time, I would get very bored. Hanging out with friends is more of a reward when you have a busier schedule. It's a great escape from other responsibilities. Plus, you learn how to take orders from others when you work and it's better to learn that sooner than later. In your career you'll have to deal with that a lot. It is also lots of fun to have money to blow in HS before you need to get serious about life!!! Take advantage of that!!!

[bordercolliefan]

When I was in high school, I was in school about 6 1/2 hours a day. I had a part-time job at a nursing home for 10 hours a week. (I got paid $35 per week and thought I was rich!) I also volunteered one day a week at the hospital (they called us candy-stripers). I was also on the math team at school (who knows why -- now I realize I don't even like math).

I don't remember ever feeling deprived of time to spend with my friends. I had a couple of friends at the nursing home job -- we all went down and applied together when we turned 16. My best friend candy-striped with me at the hospital. And, I had a couple of (geeky!) friends on the math team. --That's what I mean about how you can be doing productive things and be with your friends at the same time.

If I could change one thing now, I would have tried to do more in high school. So many clubs and opportunities... it's a great time to try out new things. But, I was kind of shy...

Let's hear from others about their high school schedules. --How did you fill the time when you weren't in class?

[Cloud9]

Jenny, what are your plans after H.S.?

What goals for your life are you working towards?

[Growing up Censored]

wow a continuation school. Not a good idea. ask fantomu what % of teens at Folsom lake continuation school he thinks do drugs.

my guess is about 80% maybe more

[Cloud9]

Just wondering, does the concept of "getting left back" and repeating a grade exist in the California school system?

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

Hello Everyone-

I am almost 17, I am on my last year of high school at Folsom Lake continuation. Folsom Lake has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Although it is 3 hours of schooling, unlike folsom high even if you dont do all the work you can still get credit for what you did do. Say you were taking english at folsom high and you did half the assignments which leaves you with an F and zero credits. If you do half the work at Folsom Lake you get half the credits.

Hi, Jenny. I can't say that I agree that the above practice is in your best interests. Allowing students to decide what they want to do and not do what they don't want to do, and still get some credit (for not completing all responsbilities) does not prepare you for the real world. We all have to do some things we'd rather not do. We don't get to decide to ignore parts of our job responsibilities and expect to still hold a job (for full or partial pay); if we don't do the work expected of us, we're out. I'm sure continuation school is attractive just because students get to control what work they do, but I do not believe it's in the best interest of students who attend. I hope you will make the most of this year, taking advantage of whatever will help you achieve your goals. Going of and beyond what is expected can only advance your situation and enhance your skills. I wish you the best.

To answer bordercollie's question, I babysat from a very young age, and got a "real" job as soon as I turned 16.

[Steve Heard]

Thanks all for your comments. As Jenny posted, she just landed a new job, so that will keep her busy. It is interesting to see which elements of the situation strike nerves with different people.

I was surprised that Res lady was the only one who thought it strange that one can get half the credit for half the work. If I did 50% of my assigned work, I'd get 100% fired.

[bordercolliefan]

What I find more strange is that you can get more credits for going less time.

[Erika]

Thanks all for your comments. As Jenny posted, she just landed a new job, so that will keep her busy.

Congrats! I didn't see that in there. Which Taco Bell? We could all come by and say hi. Just kidding

[New Girl]

Have only just read this thread. Thank you Jenny and Steve for sharing. We are going through exactly the same thing and I thought we were the only ones! My daughter has just started independant study for a year and hopes to go back to the high school for her senior year. She is working every afternoon and doing her studying in the morning. Her work is monitored by a teacher online and meets with her once every two weeks for further support. Continuation was the only alternative but it gave her no way to go back to the high school. She was extremely unsecure in the school setting and made poor choices with her friends who showed her the way to some very bad practices. She is far more stable now and I hope she will be able to sort her self out this year. Jenny - good luck, be careful and be safe.