63 replies to this topic

[Cloud9]

So what was your score Avanti?

[Cloud9]

Looking at these scores again after the whole discussion on Ms. Teaz' shop it looks like there's a strong correlation between these scores and people's opinions on whether Ms. Teaz should be able to open shop or not.

Just check out Steve's 169....

Then again, Bish seems to be an exception to this theory.

Maybe we should make the test a prerequisite to commenting on the Ms. Teaz thread.

[banana]

Anyone score above 200 and not posted the result? I got a 215, but that's all in the past.

[CataBird]

Hey, do I get something for scoring below 50?

My score was 48, and, according to the website, I am "approaching normal, but not much fun on a date."

See, that works well for me, since I quit dating cold turkey back in 1992--I got married.

Then, a few years later, I divorced him when I finally realized he would NEVER grow up. And that seems to be the problem with guys--there are no men left, only guys.

So I prefer to remain happily divorced!

[bishmasterb]

I finally realized he would NEVER grow up

Women marry men expecting them to change; men marry women expecting them not to.

Hmmm. That's a pretty compelling argument for homosexuality (not compelling enough to overcome the "having sex with a guy" part, but compelling nonetheless).

[CataBird]

Well, Bish,

I beg to differ with you on your opinion that men marry women hoping they will not change. When I met Brian (yep, that was his name!), I was a cop and definitely NOT any form of "domestic diva," and he KNEW this. My place was always clean, though, because I was never there to mess it up! I was either at work (12-hour shifts) or out with him.

BTW, I was not expecting him to change, but he did--and not for the better!

Part of the problem is that guys tend to mis-represented themselves. I'm sure you are aware--being a guy and all--that guys go the "extra mile" to woo their female targets. Once they know (or assume, as the case may be) that they've got her "hooked," they stop working on the relationship--it is work, after all.

Add to this their pre-concieved notion that all a woman really wants in life is to be a wife and mother, and--regardless of how dedicated we are to our careers--once married, we will quit our "jobs" and devote our every waking hour to pleasing our "man." Sorry, guys, but times have CHANGED!

I was very upfront and honest with Brian about the importance of my career as a cop, especially when we started talking about marriage. He insisted he wanted to be a "house husband," and promised I would not have to worry about doing all the domestic chores. However, once we married and moved in together, he seemed to have forgotten all about his promises.

Instead, after returning home from his 8-hour day working at the base motor-pool as a driver, he would sit around watching TV and reading sci-fi novels; and do NOTHING in the way of domestic chores (dishes, laundry, cleaning). He wouldn't even lift a finger to take out the trash! So, when I would return home exhausted from my shift, he expected me to cook, clean, and do laundry!!

For obvious reasons, that plan did not fly for long! For a relationship to work--especially a marriage--both parties have to work together as one unit (a "team"), and both must do their part to keep things on track. When one party refuses to put forth any effort, they cannot expect the other party to shoulder all the responsibility--nor even to stay in the relationship.

Anyway, that is one of several reasons I divorced him. I am much happier now.

[forumreader]

I suppose that is another reason in favor of long courtships! My husband and I dated six years before we decided to marry. And fifteen years later, we are very happy we did!

I knew very well that my husband is far from being a neat-nik, and he was also aware of my idiosyncracies. We've reached a happy state of equilibrium, though I would be thrilled if he did reform! (I guess we're a little Odd Couple-esque.)

[bishmasterb]

Sounds like a lot of good reasons to live together before getting married and having kids; find out if things are really workable or not.

[forumreader]

You don't have to live together to find out about the other person's habits, lifestyle and priorities. My husband and I spent much time together, but did not consider co-habitating in line with our moral beliefs.

[Cloud9]

Certainly co-habitating would provide for a much more information about someone than simply dating them when they're on their best behavior.

[CataBird]

Ah, you would think living together would solve all those compatability issues.....

However, according to studies conducted at several universities, couples who live together, both in leiu of marriage, and for a significant amount of time before getting married, experience a much higher rate of divorce/break ups than those who get married prior to living together.

Go figure.

Actually, though the military does promote marriage for its members, the logistics of getting married require a couple to obtain housing and co-habitate for at least one month prior to their wedding date. Don't ask me why, 'cause I just don't know.

So, yeah, Brian and I did live together for about a month prior to marrying, but I don't think our problems had anythng to do with merely living together. One can only keep up an act for so long before tiring. Plus, the problems did not crop up right away--it was a couple of years before Brian took it upon himself to become a deadbeat "house-husband."

Regardless of the details, my experience definitely put me off marriage--and even relationships. I find my life is much smoother--emotionally and psychologically--and less stressful without complicated relationships.

[TheCourtJester]

I don't think co-habitating is a good way to go...

Just because no matter how loving and "together" the couple may seem while just "living together," the truth is, even if it's almost on a sub-concious level, both people will still have their "eye on the door." A relationship like that is almost doomed to fail.

[Cloud9]

I don't think co-habitating is a good way to go...

Just because no matter how loving and "together" the couple may seem while just "living together," the truth is, even if it's almost on a sub-concious level, both people will still have their "eye on the door." A relationship like that is almost doomed to fail.

Cata, didn't say that living together would solve compatability issues, and I am familiar with those studies you mentioned, but they seem quite odd to me in the following regard.

If there's a couple that co-habitated for 10yrs, get married, and divorced a year later, to me the fact that they've been together 11yrs counts for something.

If you compared this to a couple that dated for a year and married for 10 and then divorced, to me that couple is no more (or less) successful than the previous scenario.

The study seems to indicate that couple #2 had more 'success', whatever that means.

Society seems to equate longevity to marital "success". One of my ex's parents have been married over 50yrs.

They probably haven't spoken to one another in the last 20 other than in public moments i.e. gatherings, etc.

[banana]

Scored a 36. How can people score so high without being in jail?

[forumreader]

banana: I was wondering the same thing. Instead of asking whether you are heading towards Heaven or Hades, the quiz should be entitled, "Are you going to jail?" .... or maybe, "Will you end-up in a 12-step program?"

I think some of our forum friends must be exaggerating their wild behavior.