24 replies to this topic

[LexHillsmom]

At what point and how did you know your daughter was autistic?  We hear so much about this nowadays...

Sorry Cloud, I realize I didn't fully answer your question.

Early symptoms of autism: lack of eye contact, no babbling (I kept telling myself she was a quiet baby) and later poor speech development, failing to "point" at objects or things of interest, lack of interest in toys. Oversensitivity to sounds, perseveration of speech or odd play interests.

Many children with autism look so normal and as young toddlers develop very normal motor skills. My daughter sat, crawled, walked, ran all in the normal range. She did have several words by 15 months of age but they were not typical words like "mama" or "dada". I think her first word was vacuum.

If parents have any suspicion of a developmental disorder the best thing to do is to visit a developmental pediatrician. The earlier one is diagnosed the better the prognosis to reach their highest potential. Fortunately, Sacramento has the best autism treatment model in the United States.

[Cloud9]

We've been looking into it because we wonder if our kids have it.

From the little I've read, I understand that there is quite a range in autism. We were looking at 'asperber' information and noted 'high functioning' type of autism.

We're constantly having to tell our oldest to "look us in the eyes" when asking for something. I don't recall either of our kids babbling when they were babies. Not sure what would be the range that would constitute 'poor speech development', but our oldest was 15 months or before he learned his first word and it wasn't mama/papa, but nest. Our youngest boy references any woman that will give him food as 'mama'.

With our oldest, he gets very focused on single things for example Thomas the train - not sure how much of that is being a kid though. We do notice that he likes to line up the trains and if his younger brother takes one or disrupts the line he gets upset, but I never gave it much thought because I used to line up toy soldiers, and who likes having their work messed with? As for sensitivity to sound, he does hear things before we do ie. passing planes, truck coming, etc. and loud noises do bother him, unless it's something he's interested in. He's also sensitive to light. When we put him to bed the night light is 'too bright', but if we lower it, and he wakes up in the middle of the night, then it's too dark and he'll wake us all up crying until there's more light.

The other thing I remember him doing when throwing a temper tantrum is spinning around (kind of like jogging while horizontal), but again, we didn't think anything of it.

I guess we're having difficulty differentiating between what would constitute 'high functioning autism' vs. "normal child behavior" - (it's becoming increasingly difficult to find kids that don't have some disorder ascribed to them).

[Steve Heard]

I don't recall either of our kids babbling when they were babies.  Not sure what would be the range that would constitute 'poor speech development', but our oldest was 15 months or before he learned his first word and it wasn't mama/papa, but nest. 

My daughter's first word was 'dirty'. That's from having a neat-freak mom.

My sister is an expert on autism. I'll try to get her to post here.

I agree that it does seem that every child has one syndrome or another.

[Cloud9]

You sure it wasn't from watching Planet of the Apes?

"Get your stinkin paws off me, you dirty ape!"

[BlueStateMom]

[quote=Cloud9,Aug 15 2005, 12:29 PM]
We've been looking into it because we wonder if our kids have it.

Cloud,
Congrats for being really observant parents. The Folsom-Cordova school district (special ed dept) can help if you decide that you would like to have your child evaluated by a specialist. Since your child/ren are under 3, the eval would probably be done by an outside specialist under a county program. If you find that there is a degree of autism present, there are some really good programs (public and private) in the area to help. I'm sure Steve's sister can provide some good insight on this. Best wishes to you and your family on this.

[BlueStateMom]

In my gut I worried something wasn't right when she was a tiny infant.  In most ways, she was developing normally. But it wasn't until she was 18 months old that her pediatrician starting taking my concerns seriously.  I hear this scenario often from other parents of special needs children.  The diagnosis came on her second birthday.

I've learned to listen to my gut!

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how mothers of special needs children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a special needs child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a special needs child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

[OctoberLily]

I'm a mom of two boys and we moved to Folsom when they were about that same age, 9 and 10. It's a tough time for kids because they literally have no control of where they live and what school they go to. If he is starting middle school where it is 6th to 8th grades, that just adds to the stress. Kids have a hard time adjusting to big events. They need time and patience and understanding.

My biggest advice is to give your child constant reassurance that everything will be okay. I wouldn't rush into therapy but give him time to adjust and try talking to him about how he feels about moving there. Talk to him when he's not in a tantrum - you won't get answers then. I find that I get more information from my sons when they are calm, happy and open to conversation. Prodding never works.

Best of luck with your son. I bet the move has a lot to do with these sudden (?) tantrums and behaviors.

I've also read books on How to Raise Boys and the info I've received has helped quite a bit. You might want to get a couple of books, it might help.

[uberman]

I remember being like that at that age, though my dad cured this with a stick of bamboo.

[MemphisGirl]

Thank you, Lexhillsmom.

I think you have a better grasp of my situation than most. Between the move and having an older brother with disabilities, life for him is hard enough. There are two sets of rules in our home because my oldest doesn't respond the same way to discipline and we don't always know if he has the ability to control some of his behavior. On the flip side we expect more of our youngest because "he should know better". My nine year old is the youngest chronologicaly but in most ways he has surpassed his older brother and this too must be very confusing trying to find his place in the family. On top of all of this, I have had a very difficult year and an half and am having a very difficult time coming to grips with my new circumstances.

First, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (last summer)&then I ruptured a disk in my lower back this past March. I can no longer do a lot of things that I used to with my kids and need more help from him than I did before. And then....I almost died three weeks ago!!!!!! I had a ruptured ovarian cyst that twisted on itself. I had massive internal bleeding and came close to bleeding to death. Because all of our family is in California, my children had to accompany me to the emergency room!!! I am better now but the recovery is slow going and further limiting what I can do in the home and with my children, etc.

I know that all of this has been extremely hard on him. I feel sorry from him and what he must be going through. I think that couseling will help the whole family cope with all of the changes that have taken place over the last year or so and better equip us to deal with these new behaviors of his.

BTW, my oldest is obsessed with "vacuums"! He has been collecting them since he was 2 (he will be 12 in October)

Thanks again for all of the replies!

[CostcoLover]

Hey Steve,

Thanks for the e.mail, but my wife tried it and it bounced back. Perhaps it's not good any longer?