202 replies to this topic

[Erika]

ever heard. I can't

[tessieca]

imagine it doesn't end

[Cloud9]

but there it was

[Cloud9]

the end at last!

[Erika]

THE END! THE END!

[slowthegrowth]

Here it is folks: The whole thing from beginning to end. I'd like someone to now refund all our time spent contributing to this....."story":

One day a man who had just lost $5 went to look at the methadone clinic where he'd previously met former president Bill Clinton on a brief encounter for a cigar smoke with an intern named “any skirt will do”. As he looked around and noticed his wife, who had a mustache and a big hairy detective who shielded her while downing taco heck just in case her bouncer would come over, she thought the best thing to do is call John Kerry and confess her desires to take some time off and see his purple “some clothes off toooooo”… no, his purple and yellow cadillac '60s edition.
They drove it to International House of Pancakes and proceeded to eat, with total abandon, a fingernail from his long big toe. He laughed and passed gas recklessly. As the pancakes arrived he poured maple syrup on the table and before he could ask for something to clean up the sticky mess he realized he sharted and hoped the scent would knock everyone out instead of Hillary's breath. But Hillary smelled sweet like a new intern and actually like sweat. So she gathered her daughter Chelsea and her poodle then headed to NYC to become a carpet bagger and have a more meaningful life playing through the night Hopscotch and Parcheesi.
She realized that she needed only 10 things to have John Kerry fail. She went to get my credit card which was for her prostitute who didn't take checks or tricks for trade. It only cost $1; $1 make you holler and love you longtime…. was a chance to get what he wanted only to find out that aliens had taken the U.N. building and the Washington monument and covered them all with intergalactic plasma goo, smelling oddly enough, like Hitlery's dream where she had been sucked into a superfast, incredibly complex, universal hand-cranked pencil sharpener previously owned by the winner of the Apprentice.
When she awoke, she found herself in bed sleeping with a rodent who was biting her sandwich which she left on her nightstand. Suddenly a strange man popped open the front door said, "Hi, I'm Cloud9". She gasped for air as she witnessed a tall man from Folsom. Little did she know this was an alien from the planet krypton! She was astounded that he wore no underpants and owned a million square mile penguin ranch brimming with cold Coors-lites. She reached for his "silver bullet" which was not where it was or what it was supposed to be, but instead it was a replica of an astounding official 8" tall Chewbakah. With her other hand she reached for the most perfect specimen of gymnosperms and decided to sell them for $1M so that she could get the most outrageous Chewbakah Halloween costume in the Universe! "Can't wait....". But then she remembered that on eBay was 152,225 just like hers except for one detail; the fur wasn't as thick and silky soft as the one she left at Jonathan's house but that didn't matter because she was on a mission to be so secretive and obscure she didn't even realize that she had been overheard while she was plotting with Tony Robbins about an incredible new way to be able stand up while she relieved herself of all stress and anxiety resulting from reading web forums. She knew it was crazy to think that she could make money from posting things on this forum like that so instead she decided to invent an incredible blog of her own; one that would impact how the entire world used commercial toilets. However she realized the importance of patenting her invention of sterilizing the seats each time they're used. With an autocleaning seat, the world would be a much cleaner place.
Suddenly, and without announcement she was swept up in emotion, as she wondered how long this thread is going to continue. It was taking forever to get the folsomites to understand that I had to find a bagel for tomorrow. The $5 I found will go towards paying for my bagel and not the detective's bill because I really don't care about the bouncer since he is a two bit backstabbing ape not unlike those in Bish's methadone clinic where he keeps all the best Cuban cigars and drugs ever.
One time he decided to take a roll of $100 and buy some excellent fresh lobster tails for tomorrow night's exciting dinner. Wile eating, he plans for the murder of el sante de anna. “All your base are belong to us”… says “this is the craziest story that I have ever heard. I can't imagine it doesn't end” but there it was; the end at last!
THE END! THE END!

[Erika]

Wow, we should be writing books

[Cloud9]

Wow, we should be writing books

I think I'll keep my day job.... oh wait, this is my day job!