11 replies to this topic

[momtogirls]

What age do you leave your child alone? During the Day? During the night?
When do you leave them with a younger sibling?

Just trying to get a feel for what other people have done.

[chris v]

When my son was around 7 we would leave him home alone for short periods of time. (He was very responsible at that age.) 10-15 minutes, to run to the store etc. As he got older the time increased. He is now almost 13 and I trust him to be there on his own for any amount of time. He knows and respects all the rules. My daughter on the other hand will be different. She is only 3 now but I already know she will be the one that could cause problems. So we'll see.

[bordercolliefan]

My older daughter began to stay alone for 1-2 hours at age 12.

She and her 11-year old sister will stay home together for 3-4 hours.

The 11 year-old is still not comfortable staying home by herself.

They are very trustworthy kids.

I think there are a lot of variables: how trustworthy the kid is; how often you plan to do it (latchkey kids every day = more potential trouble); how confident the kid is that s/he can handle any situation that arises.

Once we arrived home from an evening walk to find the girls crouching down in the kitchen -- a strange man had rung the doorbell (this was around 8 p.m.), and they got scared and were trying not to be seen.

[Harold]

My son is a good kid and has never been one to get into things he shouldn't.
I think he was 6 or 7 when I first started leaving him home alone if I had to make a 15-20 minute dash to the grocery store. I still remind him of the rules when I leave, what to do if the door bell rings or the phone rings. We have caller ID, so he only answers the phone if it is Grandma, or my wife or me. And if someone tries breaking into the house, he knows how to manually trip the burglar alarm. He was 8 when I started leaving him in the car (on cool days) in a parking lot while I will dash into a store. I remind him that while locked in the car, if anyone tries opening a door, to reach over and just lay on the horn.

I think you have to know your kid, know if they are prone to be trouble makers or not, know how responsible they can be or not, and also know how OK they are with being alone. If you can trust them not to turn on the stove while you are gone, not to go find the liquid drano and drink it, & what to do if some unforseen tragedy occurs, then whatever age that happens to be, it's OK to leave them alone for short periods of time.

[bordercolliefan]

To the original poster: the relationship between the siblings is also important. If they tend to roughhouse or fight with each other, that creates a higher risk of injury and I would not leave them together.

If it's a babysitting situation (i.e., older kid with a much younger sibling), I wouldn't do that until the older one is 11 or 12. Below that age, kids don't have the attention span and judgment to safely watch a younger sibling.

We've spent a fair amount of time prepping our girls with questions such as, "What would you do if..." Despite good preparation, unpredictable things happen. Once, an old, dormant home alarm system suddenly went off while Hubby & I were out on a walk. The girls panicked -- could not decide whether they should hunker down in the house (burglars?!) or evacuate (fire?!). Luckily we were only a block away but it just goes to show you can't anticipate all scenarios.

[giasmom]

What age do you leave your child alone? During the Day? During the night?
When do you leave them with a younger sibling?

Just trying to get a feel for what other people have done.

Good question. . .Our kids are months away from being 12 and 14. We started leaving them alone at about 8 and 10, for short trips to HomeDepot, Belaire, places that were just a few mins away. We have big dogs who are protective and go nuts if someone comes to the door, so that helped, but the main thing is we taught them to go to the neighbors house, almost everyone on the block are friends and have been to our home for BBQ's. . ., if anything wierd happened, and of course we are just a cell phone call away. Now, we can be away for several hours to do the Costco/Homedepot weekend run, but the tips are still in place, the neighbors, call us, dont answer the door. . .

[momof1]

I think the real question is, what do courts of law think is the correct age to leave kids alone and for how long.

Accidents happen and when the law is involved, the parents will be placed into court to answer questions about why they left their child at home or in the car, alone. Even during a span of fifteen minutes, a fire can start or some other incident that places a child in danger, can occur. Also, children often forget the "rules" when approached by a con artist who knows what to say to get a kid to trust them.

Once I left my daughter at home at age ten, and someone knocked on the door and wanted her to let them into the back yard so they could get their kitten. Lucky for me, that person was a good person, but my daughter, nor I, knew who she was. My daughter could only think of the poor kitten and forgot the rules she had been taught. She opened the side gate, which could have placed her in danger of a child molester being there to nab her. From that time until she was fourteen, I did not leave her alone.

Many think it is about the maturity of the child but, I advise those who want to leave their kids at home or in the car alone, call the police department and ask what is legal. It may save them a lot of grief.

In the end, the parent making the judgment call, is always responsible for the care and safety of their children. Even having a male friend over for the night, could turn into a case of them molesting your child and place you, as the parent, responsible for setting up a dangerous situation for your child.

I may sound as if I am making a big deal over this, but until you have had a close call with your child's safety, you don't realize how easily and quickly it can happen.

I agree about the safety, but I sure as all heck don't want the government telling me when I can and can't leave my child alone. I don't want no stinking laws that tell me how to parent. I'm surprised you are advocating for people to see what the government says.

[giasmom]

You, I'm sure, have heard on the news about children being harmed because of a parents poor judgment of a situation. As a "Child Advocate", I can not believe every parent is making the right decisions about what is safe for their children. So, there has to be government laws in order to protect children from parents who won't care for them properly.

These laws are not telling you how to raise your child, but telling you, you must take into account the safety of the child or face charges of child neglect.

Not all parents are going to think about the safety of their children, you know. Guidelines must be drawn somewhere on what is careless disregard for a child's safety and what is not, in order to protect children.

Since you say you agree about the safety of a child, why the anger about the laws to protect them? You think every parent makes good choices?

Years ago I worked for the State of Mi in the area of Child Welfare. From what I remember, the law didnt state an age that kids could be left alone, it depended on the maturity of the child. In cases where parents were charged w/child neglect for leaving their child alone and the child was hurt in an accident in the home. . .the maturity of the child was a factor when the judge determined if the parents were charged or not. Of course the statements of teachers, neighbors. . .were considered. Sometimes the government does have to be involved or have guidelines (laws), in case a child is neglected, then the laws work on the side of the child to try to prevent. . .I understand your point too Momof1 about "stinkin laws" but some laws have been put in place after an incident which a child was killed by. . .We need the laws to help protect kids and punish whoever abuses or neglects them. . .You would be shocked at the horrible things parents have done to their kids, the law was there to get those kids out, even if temporarily. .I would have never ever believed parents could. . ., until I worked in that area. . .

[momof1]

I know there are not so good parents and then some down right horrible ones.

I also here the horror stories of when CPS doesn't step in and do their job as well as when they do step in and it's the wrong thing to do.

I don't trust our government to do what is right, so despite the fact there are bad parents, I prefer that the government stay out of the parenting business. The argument "it's for the kids" is a lousy argument, totalitarianism in the name of the children is still totalitarianism. I prefer FREEDOM. Unfortunately, our government is headed towards totalitarianism.