My neighbor has a 4 y/o daughter. When we are visiting over the fence, the child will open the window and yell at the mom come inside now, my crayon broke! I have tons of other examples but the Dad is a myfolsom member and I dont want to risk him reading. I dont know if I should say "Abby honey that doesnt sound nice. The Mom says ok to the girl that she is coming. Thoughts? It kind of bugs me, my twin girls are the same age and I dont think they would ever talk to me like that
Is This Crossing The Line?
Started by
sasilou
, Jan 05 2012 04:38 PM
16 replies to this topic
#2
SunshineServices
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 04:40 PM
MYOFB. Truly nothing good will come of you saying anything. Just teach your own kids whats right vs whats wrong.
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#3
SacKen
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 05:10 PM
Too bad the rest of us will someday have to deal with this kid that will most likely become a total PITA teen/adult.MYOFB. Truly nothing good will come of you saying anything. Just teach your own kids whats right vs whats wrong.
I agree that saying something is probably a bad thing if it is just a neighbor. If you are close enough that you can have discussions like that without taking it personally, you might at least be able to have a conversation about it. I have a couple friends that I often discuss parenting with and we often learn from each other.
"Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!" -- George Carlin
#4
momof1
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 05:22 PM
I fear this mother will be walked all over by her teenage daughter in 10-14 years, but Sunshine is right, no good deed goes unpunished. Correcting this moms parenting skills is not likely to earn you any brownie points. Best stay silent and hope they move before the daughter becomes the terror of the neighborhood.My neighbor has a 4 y/o daughter. When we are visiting over the fence, the child will open the window and yell at the mom come inside now, my crayon broke! I have tons of other examples but the Dad is a myfolsom member and I dont want to risk him reading. I dont know if I should say "Abby honey that doesnt sound nice. The Mom says ok to the girl that she is coming. Thoughts? It kind of bugs me, my twin girls are the same age and I dont think they would ever talk to me like that
#5
The Average Joe
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 05:43 PM
I wonder why this generation ever gave up parental power. I see it all the time...homes where kids rule and parents take a backseat, catering to their every whim.
Kids these days certainly aren't told "no" often enough. Or taught what is and isn't appropriate for that matter.
Just try to guide your own kids, and hope for the best for all involved.
Kids these days certainly aren't told "no" often enough. Or taught what is and isn't appropriate for that matter.
Just try to guide your own kids, and hope for the best for all involved.
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive" -- C.S. Lewis
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#6
(MaxineR)
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 06:10 PM
My neighbor has a 4 y/o daughter. When we are visiting over the fence, the child will open the window and yell at the mom come inside now, my crayon broke! I have tons of other examples but the Dad is a myfolsom member and I dont want to risk him reading. I dont know if I should say "Abby honey that doesnt sound nice. The Mom says ok to the girl that she is coming. Thoughts? It kind of bugs me, my twin girls are the same age and I dont think they would ever talk to me like that
I've seen this often in today's mothers, jumping whenever their child makes a demand. Even in some friends, who have children.
My friendship with these parents is very casual and I try to stay away from them as their children are so obnoxious and rude.
I would advise not allowing your children to be available for playing with this child. Bad behavior does rub off and I've seen it close up and personal when raising my kids...which are all grown now.
Just be very busy with your kids and keep them too busy to play with this child or others like her.
#7
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 06:24 PM
Since your girls are the same age, do you ever have the neighbor girl over for a visit? In lieu of talking to the mom, wait for the girl to say something in an inappropriate way to you and then tactfully and briefly teach her a better way. If she makes a demand on you, you can coach her to say, "Please," and you can model a more polite way to make the request. Again, I'd keep it brief. Between that and seeing how your girls talk to you, many lessons will be learned. It may or may not change how she talks to her mother, but it will definitely teacher her that not everyone accepts that behavior/style of communication and that at least some people outside of her home won't respond the way she wants when she behaves/communicates that way.
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#8
nomad
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 06:31 PM
My neighbor has a 4 y/o daughter. When we are visiting over the fence, the child will open the window and yell at the mom come inside now, my crayon broke! I have tons of other examples but the Dad is a myfolsom member and I dont want to risk him reading. I dont know if I should say "Abby honey that doesnt sound nice. The Mom says ok to the girl that she is coming. Thoughts? It kind of bugs me, my twin girls are the same age and I dont think they would ever talk to me like that
Disrespect at the age of 4? Pretty harsh judgement if you ask me.
#9
sasilou
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 06:33 PM
Since your girls are the same age, do you ever have the neighbor girl over for a visit? In lieu of talking to the mom, wait for the girl to say something in an inappropriate way to you and then tactfully and briefly teach her a better way. If she makes a demand on you, you can coach her to say, "Please," and you can model a more polite way to make the request. Again, I'd keep it brief. Between that and seeing how your girls talk to you, many lessons will be learned. It may or may not change how she talks to her mother, but it will definitely teacher her that not everyone accepts that behavior/style of communication and that at least some people outside of her home won't respond the way she wants when she behaves/communicates that way.
Our kids do play for short periods of time, always outside, very sporadically and the girl is very sweet, plays nice and is never rude to me. It just bugs me the way the girl demands her Mom to do things and the Mom actually does it. With as rude as Sunshines response was to me ( I had to look up those initials, I didnt even know what he was talking about), he's right. . .I'll give him that, at least its not my kid. I was just wondering if it were your kid would you be upset if someone else corrected a behavior. . .Thanks you guys. . . I'll just MMOB
#10
SunshineServices
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 06:37 PM
Firm, not rude. Don't know you well enough to be rude!! :-) Or maybe I was predicting what your neighbor might say!
When The Power Of Love Overcomes The Love Of Power The World Will Know Peace.
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#11
(MaxineR)
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 07:06 PM
Good thing it isn't a family member you are dealing with. That seldom goes well when you correct their child's behavior.
Actually, good behavior and how to ask for things begins with language skills, starting at about one year of age. Bad behavior can be picked up by a child when listening to how the adults in the household speak to each other. A child copies all behavior they see and hear in the home as well as from others they regularly are in contact with.
I doubt this child's behavior or attitude can be changed in the short time they visit in a person's home. I've had personal experience with this type of demanding child when visiting a friend, and they don't think it's rude or bad behavior. Over the years I've seen it get worse to the point that I look at my watch and proclaim I must be going when things get nasty, and say I have an errand to do and must go.
I don't go anywhere with this person when she has her teenager with her because of the public humiliation she puts her mother through. At one time I was so embarrassed I had to leave a full plate of lunch, with the excuse I was feeling too ill to stay.
Verbal abuse is just as painful as any other type and sets up a child to experience many bad situations when others won't tolerate it. And this is where it starts, at home, with no objections to it. In this teenager's case, she knows she can manipulate her mother, but doesn't show any disrespect to others, until she is stressed. It is a form of manipulation for sure.
Sad, because it sounds like the mother/daughter relationship is not one that will be rewarding for either of them. The girls behavior will come out as an adult, whenever she doesn't get her way and that ugly side of her will come with a harsh blowback in all her relationships.
When I was a teen, I dated a guy like this....very sweet one minute, and a mad man the next, when he was stressed out. There were more apologies for cussing and verbal abuse to me, than I could handle and we went our separate ways. My mother thought he was mental and she may have been right.
Actually, good behavior and how to ask for things begins with language skills, starting at about one year of age. Bad behavior can be picked up by a child when listening to how the adults in the household speak to each other. A child copies all behavior they see and hear in the home as well as from others they regularly are in contact with.
I doubt this child's behavior or attitude can be changed in the short time they visit in a person's home. I've had personal experience with this type of demanding child when visiting a friend, and they don't think it's rude or bad behavior. Over the years I've seen it get worse to the point that I look at my watch and proclaim I must be going when things get nasty, and say I have an errand to do and must go.
I don't go anywhere with this person when she has her teenager with her because of the public humiliation she puts her mother through. At one time I was so embarrassed I had to leave a full plate of lunch, with the excuse I was feeling too ill to stay.
Verbal abuse is just as painful as any other type and sets up a child to experience many bad situations when others won't tolerate it. And this is where it starts, at home, with no objections to it. In this teenager's case, she knows she can manipulate her mother, but doesn't show any disrespect to others, until she is stressed. It is a form of manipulation for sure.
Sad, because it sounds like the mother/daughter relationship is not one that will be rewarding for either of them. The girls behavior will come out as an adult, whenever she doesn't get her way and that ugly side of her will come with a harsh blowback in all her relationships.
When I was a teen, I dated a guy like this....very sweet one minute, and a mad man the next, when he was stressed out. There were more apologies for cussing and verbal abuse to me, than I could handle and we went our separate ways. My mother thought he was mental and she may have been right.
#12
(The Dude)
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Posted 05 January 2012 - 08:28 PM
If it happened often, I'd probably comment that their kid was being pushy. Nothing wrong with stating the obvious. If the parent got butt hurt over the truth, then hopefully it's a wake up call to the bad attitude they're helping create with their lackadaisical child rearing habits.
#13
giasmom
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Posted 06 January 2012 - 07:56 AM
Disrespect at the age of 4? Pretty harsh judgement if you ask me.
Even before age 4 I began teaching my kids what is Nice ("be nice to sister") what is Mean ("that sounds mean") be Soft (when you pet the cat, that Hurts (when you pull the dogs tail). . .if our kids talked to us like that at that age I probably would have said "that doesnt sound nice". . .Im sure I wouldnt have said "okay, I'll do it now" I dont even say that now. . .
#14
old soldier
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Posted 06 January 2012 - 08:16 AM
if the kid is this bad at age four, if I was the parent I would be worried about what kind of old folks home the kid would put me in years down the line..today folks with kids have forgot the rule, you have to choose between being a kids parent or his friend.
all my growing years I was scared as hell of my mom and breaking her rules...as a result I turned out pretty well.
since the kids dad is on my folsom, perhaps a few more clues might have him catch on and give his wife a little child respect training session.
all my growing years I was scared as hell of my mom and breaking her rules...as a result I turned out pretty well.
since the kids dad is on my folsom, perhaps a few more clues might have him catch on and give his wife a little child respect training session.
#15
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Posted 28 February 2012 - 08:08 PM
If at the age of four and she is already acting that way (like a spoiled brat), then the parents will have a difficult time with her behavior in the future. Parents should teach their children to be polite and respectful because if they will get use to that attitude and it will be hard to eliminate once its already established. The other day a friend of mine told me that she felt guilty on what had happened to her son because at an early age he was talking back and stealing but my friend didn't do anything about it, so as a consequence his son now is experiencing troubled with the law. Parents need to tell their children the difference from wrong and right because they might think that what they are doing is good, even though its bad. 
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