75 replies to this topic

[Bill Z]

You choose to jump on the bandwagon than think logically.

Obviously--you need to do your homework when shopping for childcare.

There is an absolute gushing fountain of incredibly qualified, motivated and very much "cheap" home daycare groups out there.

Go ahead and think negatively about the stay at home mom just trying to make extra money---and that is the kind of mom you will attract when looking for a child care provider.

I don't think negatively about the stay at home trying to make a few extra bucks, I applaud them (one is a good personal friend, I worked with her for years), but I don't assume they are better trained than the workers in a daycare facility. Heck, my step mom did it for awhile when I was a teenager in High School, she had zero training, but she took care of the kids OK, but I wouldn't say she provided the educational environment I know my son got at Phoenix.

So don't tell me I'm just jumping on a bandwagon, I speak from the experiences I know of.

[stacycam]

I have had my son in one not so good at home daycare, and one fabulous at home daycare. I had my daughter in one center daycare (Kindercare) that sucked, and one awesome preschool center (Phoenix). You can have good or bad in either a center or a home. You just have to do your research and listen to your gut. Personally, I would never put in a baby in a center. When I saw those cribs lined up, I was sick to my stomach.

Now, my kids are in an in-home daycare center that has a very crabby mom running it. She gets no tax breaks, no benefits, and the house is messier than when she was working.

[RV3000]

When both parents work, it is very very difficult to juggle this. nevermind the emotional tolls on the child and the guilt that you feel as a parent.

Why don't you try hiring a nanny? I've heard of some people using and very happy with an "au pair". You could advertise for a nanny and interview those with references. i would never hire one, though, without having a built-in camera system throughout the house!

[prouddad]

In researching daycare options, I almost fell out of my chair over these prices:

for a 1 year old and 3 year old full time @ Phoenix = almost 2K a month????

wow!!! Will the Free pre School for ALL bill ever pass??? Right now, you have to be super low income to qualify for headstart or anything close to that.

When both parents work, it is very very difficult to juggle this. nevermind the emotional tolls on the child and the guilt that you feel as a parent.

Then maybe both parents should not be working. Maybe one parent should stay home instead of dropping your child off at daycare with a stranger or hiring a nanny...Sometimes in life you have to make important decisions,sacrifices,etc Its all about your child and what best for them...

[palango]

Then maybe both parents should not be working. Maybe one parent should stay home instead of dropping your child off at daycare with a stranger or hiring a nanny...Sometimes in life you have to make important decisions,sacrifices,etc Its all about your child and what best for them...

In this terrible economy, and the fact that State workers got a 10% paycut, that is a very unprobable option. sacrafices should be made, but when the job situation is so shaky, you have to hang on untill the economy improves and one parent can stay home.

[loosinggrip56]

In researching daycare options, I almost fell out of my chair over these prices:

for a 1 year old and 3 year old full time @ Phoenix = almost 2K a month????

wow!!! Will the Free pre School for ALL bill ever pass??? Right now, you have to be super low income to qualify for headstart or anything close to that.

When both parents work, it is very very difficult to juggle this. nevermind the emotional tolls on the child and the guilt that you feel as a parent.

you wouldn't want your kid in Phoenix school anyways. I worked there and quit after a year,because I could no longer handle how we were supposed to treat the children. I worked mostly with the elementary age children, but whenever they would cry, we were told to say, hide your tears and go wash you face and they were not aloud to have an imagination or pretend they were anything but "practical things".

[Bill Z]

you wouldn't want your kid in Phoenix school anyways. I worked there and quit after a year,because I could no longer handle how we were supposed to treat the children. I worked mostly with the elementary age children, but whenever they would cry, we were told to say, hide your tears and go wash you face and they were not aloud to have an imagination or pretend they were anything but "practical things".

Hmm, me thinks you are a disgruntled employee. I might guess that I should be pleased you no longer work there.

[mylo]

Hmm, me thinks you are a disgruntled employee. I might guess that I should be pleased you no longer work there.

Bill, was that really necessary? It's obvious he's a disgruntled ex-employee, he said that he worked there and sure sounds disgruntled about it! Voicing your pleasure over him not being there is simply unnecessary. If you're happy about the service you're getting, without loosinggrip56's employment, just enjoy it! No need to rub it in...

[palango]

you wouldn't want your kid in Phoenix school anyways. I worked there and quit after a year,because I could no longer handle how we were supposed to treat the children. I worked mostly with the elementary age children, but whenever they would cry, we were told to say, hide your tears and go wash you face and they were not aloud to have an imagination or pretend they were anything but "practical things".

That is your opinion. I can attest that we have had OUTSTANDING service at Phoenix (near intel). Speaking with many other parents, I can tell you that they are very happy with them. If Phoenix is as bad as you claim , then why is it sold out and there is a waiting list?

[prouddad]

In this terrible economy, and the fact that State workers got a 10% paycut, that is a very unprobable option. sacrafices should be made, but when the job situation is so shaky, you have to hang on untill the economy improves and one parent can stay home.

Yes even in this terrible economy its possible to have a parent stay at home with the child. Its a choice. I work days, my wife works nights...not the ideal situation but its a choice we made...we are not letting strangers take care of our kids (daycare)...

[palango]

Yes even in this terrible economy its possible to have a parent stay at home with the child. Its a choice. I work days, my wife works nights...not the ideal situation but its a choice we made...we are not letting strangers take care of our kids (daycare)...

I agree and good for you, BUT you have to agree with me when I say that this delimma does not have a "one shoe fits all" solution. So many peopel are getting laid off that if one parent's job is shaky, they will make a CHOICE as an insurance policy for one spouse (the stay @ home one) to go to work.

Just because it works for you doe not mean, it will work for all.

[prouddad]

I agree and good for you, BUT you have to agree with me when I say that this delimma does not have a "one shoe fits all" solution. So many peopel are getting laid off that if one parent's job is shaky, they will make a CHOICE as an insurance policy for one spouse (the stay @ home one) to go to work.

Just because it works for you doe not mean, it will work for all.

I agree with your statement " one shoe fits alll"...every situation is differant. Single moms is a good example. But im speaking of a 2 parent household. Im not saying its easy-Its a HUGE sacrifice but your child is worth it right??

[bordercolliefan]

I agree with your statement " one shoe fits alll"...every situation is differant. Single moms is a good example. But im speaking of a 2 parent household. Im not saying its easy-Its a HUGE sacrifice but your child is worth it right??

I think there are a lot of different factors.

People sometimes act like having one parent stay home is the best, no matter what. This isn't necessarily always the case.

For example, some families are so strapped if one parent stays home that they can't realistically provide a decent start for a child. If having a SAHP (stay at home parent) means that your child is deprived of going to the dentist, orthodontics, summer camps, after school lessons, tutoring (if necessary), and the hope of going to college... then quite honestly you might be better off having both parents work so that the child has more opportunity.

We tend to idealize having a parent at home, but let's face it: there are lots of ghetto families where one parent is home, and those kids don't turn out too well. Other factors, including opportunity and economic stability, are important to how well a kid turns out.

I'm not going to criticize the choice you've made -- obviously you feel it is best for your family. But I know that in some cases where the parents "pass like ships in the night," it is very hard on the marriage, and there is a shortage of time where the whole family is enjoying time together. In cases with those dynamics, frankly it would be better for the kid to spend some time in quality child care rather than have the parents' marriage disintegrate.

I guess "one size doen't fit all" pretty much sums it up.

[prouddad]

I think there are a lot of different factors.

People sometimes act like having one parent stay home is the best, no matter what. This isn't necessarily always the case.

For example, some families are so strapped if one parent stays home that they can't realistically provide a decent start for a child. If having a SAHP (stay at home parent) means that your child is deprived of going to the dentist, orthodontics, summer camps, after school lessons, tutoring (if necessary), and the hope of going to college... then quite honestly you might be better off having both parents work so that the child has more opportunity.

We tend to idealize having a parent at home, but let's face it: there are lots of ghetto families where one parent is home, and those kids don't turn out too well. Other factors, including opportunity and economic stability, are important to how well a kid turns out.

I'm not going to criticize the choice you've made -- obviously you feel it is best for your family. But I know that in some cases where the parents "pass like ships in the night," it is very hard on the marriage, and there is a shortage of time where the whole family is enjoying time together. In cases with those dynamics, frankly it would be better for the kid to spend some time in quality child care rather than have the parents' marriage disintegrate.

I guess "one size doen't fit all" pretty much sums it up.

You make some good points but lets agree to disagree. For me, I would not deprive my kids from going to dentist, medical appts, etc. But Im only speaking of the "growing years". Kids start kindergarten at age 5 so its a small sacrifice up until then...but worth it to me. Bottom line-NO NANNY/DAYCARE WILL LOVE/NUTURE YOUR CHILD LIKE YOU!

[bookwom]

I think there are a lot of different factors.

People sometimes act like having one parent stay home is the best, no matter what. This isn't necessarily always the case.

For example, some families are so strapped if one parent stays home that they can't realistically provide a decent start for a child. If having a SAHP (stay at home parent) means that your child is deprived of going to the dentist, orthodontics, summer camps, after school lessons, tutoring (if necessary), and the hope of going to college... then quite honestly you might be better off having both parents work so that the child has more opportunity.

We tend to idealize having a parent at home, but let's face it: there are lots of ghetto families where one parent is home, and those kids don't turn out too well. Other factors, including opportunity and economic stability, are important to how well a kid turns out.

I'm not going to criticize the choice you've made -- obviously you feel it is best for your family. But I know that in some cases where the parents "pass like ships in the night," it is very hard on the marriage, and there is a shortage of time where the whole family is enjoying time together. In cases with those dynamics, frankly it would be better for the kid to spend some time in quality child care rather than have the parents' marriage disintegrate.

I guess "one size doen't fit all" pretty much sums it up.

Absolutely, positively agree. My husband and I found that, when our children were small, that my working part time worked best. I found being home full-time with small children to be so tedious that I became short and impatient with them. I'm not proud of it, but there it is. The two-three days a week I worked gave me the stimulation and validation I needed to be able to give my best to my kids when I was with them. And the extra money I made gave us a little financial breathing space, so things were less stressful. And the kids had a couple of days playing with other kids, which was especially important to my daughter, who is super social. When she was home with me, she was always asking when she would be going back to pre-school.

Because of how much we love our children, its so important to each of us that we get this parenting job done right. But because there are no hard and fast rules on how to do that, this produces anxiety. Some parents deal with this anxiety by insisting that their way to parent and the choices they made are THE right ways to do things, and putting down anyone who chooses differently. The is wrong and counter-productive. Different things work for different families, and we should be giving each other's choices our support. Some choices are clearly wrong, but others really depend on circumstances. Furthermore, I think parents who leave themselves out of the equation when they make choices for their families are making a mistake. Strong, healthy parents with strong, healthy marriages make much better families, even if they have to put their children into day care at times to achieve this.