40 replies to this topic

[asbestoshills]

What's up with parents these days? They can't pay their bills, save for retirement or take a minute for themselves, but they can buy their kid smartphones, computers, shuffle them to and fro every weekend to soccer (insert sport here) tournaments for the remote chance of a scholarship/professional career and plan the most elaborate bday parties at hotels and buy their kids new cars. When did children become celebrities in their own homes? This is a phenomenon that is apparent in this generation.

THese kids do more lessons in a week, than most kids my age did in a lifetime. While their parents are debt ridden, exhausted and some what dysfunctional. The sports in some of these families trumps family get togethers and homework. It's insane. On the other hand, some parents skip the sports and just focus on extreme academics such as calculus at 10, robotic camps, piano lessons, and chess. No wonder kids think they can just go to college and then become celebrities or famous sports stars.

I think the damage comes at age 18 when they have such high expectations of what life should give them. There has got to be some balance in some of these kids lives before they crash. Anyone else agree?

[AMETHYST PRODUCTIVITY]

Wow, never thought I'd agree with you on anything. ;-)

[asbestoshills]

HA HA!

[nomad]

What's up with parents these days? They can't pay their bills, save for retirement or take a minute for themselves, but they can buy their kid smartphones, computers, shuffle them to and fro every weekend to soccer (insert sport here) tournaments for the remote chance of a scholarship/professional career and plan the most elaborate bday parties at hotels and buy their kids new cars. When did children become celebrities in their own homes? This is a phenomenon that is apparent in this generation.

THese kids do more lessons in a week, than most kids my age did in a lifetime. While their parents are debt ridden, exhausted and some what dysfunctional. The sports in some of these families trumps family get togethers and homework. It's insane. On the other hand, some parents skip the sports and just focus on extreme academics such as calculus at 10, robotic camps, piano lessons, and chess. No wonder kids think they can just go to college and then become celebrities or famous sports stars.

I think the damage comes at age 18 when they have such high expectations of what life should give them. There has got to be some balance in some of these kids lives before they crash. Anyone else agree?

So you just assume any kid that leads an active sports lifestyle has parents that are spoiling them, can't pay the bills, and are dysfunctional?

Personally, I'd rather my kids play all the sports they can so they can learn to be competitive and WIN which a lot of people seem to think is a bad thing now. And with so many fat kids sitting around playing xbox all day I'll gladly shuffle my kids to sports to keep fit, learn teamwork, and make new friends who aren't couch potatoes.

If anything my kids are lucky to have these opportunities and that's fine with me. And academics are fine here in Folsom, if you think otherwise you're crazy.

Overall you sound a bit jealous that maybe you cannot do these things and sit on the sidelines watching, so to speak.

And we eat dinner together every night so don't think that sports and school ruins everyone's home life.

[AMETHYST PRODUCTIVITY]

Nomad, That's not the impression I got from it at all. What I took from it was the child/children being the #1 focus of life before all else and the lessons that they will take from that.

[Harold]

My experience growing up, jocks were the biggest group of jerks on campus.
I'm sure some of them were decent people, but collectively as a whole, not so good.

[asbestoshills]

Yeah, Nomad obviously u didn't get the point. THe post is how children are the NEW celebrities in their home. Parents cater too much to their children at their own expense. Perhaps you are overly sensitive to the subject. I also mentioned extreme academcis parents are pushing their children into. Both are extreme examples of how our society is rapidly changing and not in a good way. Parents reward their children with iphones, computers, expensive vacations as if they were celebrities with 15 minutes of fame. If you give an 11 year old an iphone, pay for them to travel for weekend sports, host elaborate hotel bdays and pay for every extracurricular activity under the sun, what happens when they turn 18? I can tell you. A child/man/woman is created. I have seen several of these b/c my friends parents' have created their own monsters. They look like this-18-20 years old college student who isn't doing the best and their parents are still paying for their phones, care, insurance, tuition and plenty of discrecenary money for weekend partying. What do these parents get in return? A adult that takes film school classes b/c they were told they could be anything they wanted even though they never have shown any real talent. The other one had a nervous breakdown and had to leave the college that gave her a 75% full ride for academics b/c she couldn't handle the pressures and now is enrolled at a community college and lives at home. The parents catered to them and micromanaged their time so much that when she went to college she couldn't do it herself and for the first time experience freedom from her parents and then couldn't figure out how to balance her life. Did I mention, not one of them has ever held a job, unless you count being the CELEBRITY in their own home. They are creatures of leisure and it looks like they plan to stay that way.

[nomad]

Yeah I got your point. Yes there are extremes in households these days. Hasn't that always been true? Just because you think it's extreme doesn't mean others do. Maybe it's their formula for success. If you had 100 million dollars in the bank wouldn't you splurge for an exotic party for your kid? I'm sure you'll say no but I doubt that would be reality.

We complain that kids have it too easy and then again if they are pushed to hard. I think everyone should find their own balance and not judge how other people's kids turn out.

[asbestoshills]

There's a difference between extreme parenting when the child shows true talent. An example, would be a child that is a musical or sports prodigy and when I say prodigy I don't mean their parents and grandparents think tehy are good, they actually have proof in national competitions. Future academic prodigies or olympic prodigies are one in a million or more;)

I'm talking about parents who make their child a celebrity by providing them with everything but the ability to work on their own. And no, I can afford elaborate parties for my children but wouldn't do it b/c it doesn't add to their well being or future well being. Just because I can afford to spend money, doesn't mean I should. Also, you take the ability of your child to earn these things on their own. Having a 16th bday and getting a used car for your child is great if the child has earned it. Getting your child a new sports car & spending thousands on a dj, hotel , catering etc is crazy. Your child will be let down when they are an adult esp when they learn that fancy cars cost the avg annual salary of someone. Also,unless you plan to carry them until they are married, you are using the money that should go to your retirement to you kids. Ridiculous. And don't say oh if I can afford it, it's ok b/c it's not and given that 85% of Americans don't have a 6 month emergency fund I doubt they really can afford it.

[Pool Runner]

You know I was just telling my wife something similar this past week. Every now and then I like to go into that hobby store in the Home Depot center and just brows. Anyway the last time I was there I was amazed at how many “kids” when I say kids I mean 11 and under that came in with $600+ dollar RC race cars. One lady had bought her son an $800 RC car for Christmas that he broke somehow in the first couple of days, and she willingly handed over another $250 to have it repaired like it was nothing. I could have had the story entirely wrong but the kid was standing there next to her texting the entire time as if he could care less.
I’m in my thirties now and would be floored if someone bought me an $800 RC car Lol, I probably wouldn’t put it down for a month.

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

All to often when you give, give, give to children, they do not learn to be independent, they do not understand the value of money or any of their possessions, and they have a sense of entitlement. In reality, giving too much to children can really take away from who they could be.

[nomad]

All to often when you give, give, give to children, they do not learn to be independent, they do not understand the value of money or any of their possessions, and they have a sense of entitlement. In reality, giving too much to children can really take away from who they could be.

So does dropping 8-12k a year on private school for a kid fall into this catagory?

[Deb aka Resume Lady]

So does dropping 8-12k a year on private school for a kid fall into this catagory?

We were not happy with many aspects of public school education (too time-consuming and nerve-wracking to get into). We started there, did that for several years, home schooled a while, and then went in the direction of private school to wrap things up. Both of our children had jobs as teens and they used their own money for car insurance, cell phones, and other privileges. They're both very independent, responsible, and ethical young adults.

[momof1]

So does dropping 8-12k a year on private school for a kid fall into this catagory?

I think there is a difference in spending $10K a year on your child's education vs. spending $10K a year on every toy they ask for. I doubt there are any kids begging their parents to spend money on private school instead of on toys.

[nomad]

I think there is a difference in spending $10K a year on your child's education vs. spending $10K a year on every toy they ask for. I doubt there are any kids begging their parents to spend money on private school instead of on toys.

I knew this response would come, it's debatable for sure.