367 replies to this topic

[Dave Burrell]

Happy Halloween!

(the Palin Pumpkin)

[Bill Z]

Depressed...sign of the times!!!



I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.


Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan


I told them I was suicidal.


They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

[Andrea V]

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts i t over her cigarette, and continues smoking.


Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.


Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.


The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.


The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.


'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.
'

The pharmacist fainted.

[Dave Burrell]

[Andrea V]

[eVader]

Hey that's a dirty trick to pull! It's like one of those 3D pictures from the 90s you stare at and it changes. Weird how this one pops back and forth from lamp to legs.

[Darth Lefty]

http://www.celebritywit.com/

[mylo]

http://www.celebritywit.com/

Ha, my wife's gonna love that site!

"If you wanna save the planet, let me see you jump!" Madonna

[folsom500]

by KC Williams who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School.


In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple - the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair the requirement was to be a natural born citizen.

In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, 'What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?'

[Darth Lefty]

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net

"Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb."

[Dave Burrell]

For the Obama fans out there - this one's for you

Time to party

[Dave Burrell]

Obama's Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy
Stunning Break with Last Eight Years

In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS' "Sixty Minutes" on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.

But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.

According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.

"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."

The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate - we get it, stop showing off."

The President-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.

"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.

[Dave Burrell]

This joke is seen daily on here in the politics section

[Darth Lefty]

[camay2327]

Prostitute Prank

http://au.youtube.co...fs0&feature=dir